Matthew Hussey breaks down four common behaviors that push men away in dating. The video uses real conversations and coaching to show what turns guys off and how to fix your approach to attraction.
Ryan?
Hey.
You don't remember me, do you?
No, from Sean's party.
Caitlin.
Ah, the name shame. The moment where you say, you don't remember my name, do you? Now I know why people do it. They're sort of insecure, they're feeling vulnerable, they want to be remembered but they're worried that they're not memorable. So they go up to someone and in some passive-aggressive attempt to take power back and put the other person on the back foot they say you don't remember me do you? The problem is instead of aiding attraction it becomes a turn off because the person who says it just comes off as petty and insecure. Instead This will get you further.
Oh hey, it's Caitlin. We met at Sean's party, right?
Hey. Yeah, you and your friend took off early. How have you been?
Oh my god, so busy. Work is crazy right now. So much is going on. Super tired and busy.
Yeah, it's busy, yeah. No, it's crazy. All right, yeah, yeah, gotta go, gotta go, yep, all right. Just give me two seconds, James, let me finish this message. Anastasia, yeah, can I get a coffee, mate? So tired, I cannot keep going without my coffee. The problem with saying I'm so busy is that it says one of two things. Either I don't have anything interesting to say or I validate myself and feel important based on how busy I am. So quick tip, when someone asks you how are you or what have you been up to, instead of trying to sum up the last three months of your life in two sentences, which is nearly impossible, simply root yourself in the present and talk about something that just happened.
Hey. Yeah, you and your friend took off early. How have you been?
Really good. My friend's still in town and I just took her first yoga class.
That's awesome. You look great.
Oh, God, no. I look disgusting right now.
Self-deprecating is endearing. It's charming. Self-deprecating is when, well, you take somebody else's compliment and you pull down your pants and take a big old poop all over it. It is possible to maintain your humble charm and accept a compliment at the same time.
You look great.
Aww, thank you. You just made my day. Right after yoga isn't always my sexiest.
So how's your friend like in the city so far?
She's having a really good time, but between us, she's having some issues with her boyfriend right now, so she's not really in a good spot.
Oh.
Hear ye, hear ye.
The secrets of my friends all told to me in confidence. The town crier is the person who goes around spreading other people's gossip to the person in front of them, either because they don't know anything else to say or because they think it's actually interesting. The problem is all it demonstrates is a lack of loyalty. This man might one day want her to be loyal to him, but all he's learning right now is that when she learns things about him they could just as easily be passed to the next perfect stranger in front of her. Practice restraint and direct your conversation toward positive things, especially when talking about other people, because you in turn will appear as an attractive and positive person.
So how's your friend like in the city so far?
She's loving it. It's so good to have friend time and catch up.
Well hey, let me get your number and that way we can text each other and see where we'll be.
Okay, sure.
Okay. Why don't you do it?
I don't know how to work it.
Do the honor.
Yeah, technology. This isn't about having the perfect conversation. In fact, romantic conversations are rarely perfect. They're often messy and a little awkward. What it is about is making the most of the opportunity that's right in front of you. And the truth is, amazing opportunities are all around us. They're in the coffee shop, they're in the street, they're in the bookshop, they're in the elevator on our way up to our workplace. but most of us aren't good at making the most of the opportunities around us. We don't take those little baby steps to meet people, to flirt with people. Maybe we're out of practice. Maybe we just don't think that we're good at that, but we all can be. Of the hundreds of thousands of women I speak to every month in my videos and through my emails, there are thousands, literally thousands, whose love lives are stagnant right now because they're not doing the small things they could. If you identify as one of the people that is hoping love will happen to you, Instead of you going out there and creating it, I have a program for you. It's called Attract Any Man. And the whole point of this program is to give you the quick steps right now to get out of the house and to meet amazing men. Because I don't want you to be one of those people 10 years from now who looks back on her love life and says, I could have done more. I could have had what I wanted if all I did was have a bit more courage and know a few things to go out there and do to be proactive. This program gives you exactly that. Check it out for yourself, send me an email once you've got the program, I cannot wait to hear what you think. And otherwise, as always, I will see you in next week's video.
