Matthew Hussey argues that "be yourself" keeps you stuck. Instead, design who you want to become, experiment with new behaviors, and keep taking risks. He uses his own public speaking journey as an example of how growth means becoming someone different.
Be yourself seems like good advice, right? That's actually what makes this advice so insidious, is that on the surface it feels like it's helpful and it makes us feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside when someone says be yourself. In truth, it rarely helps when someone says be yourself. Very often all it does is give us validation for the idea that we should stay the same and not take risks, not try new things, not. Not learn in areas where we're currently not competent. We use it as an excuse to stay the same. It's a polite way of saying, be who you are now. Don't explore being more evolved, more advanced, new versions of you. If I said to you right now, be yourself, you wouldn't necessarily know what to do today. If I asked you, would you even know who you are? Because be yourself implies you even know who you are. Many of us, when we think about who we are, we look in the rear view mirror. We look at who we've been in the past and not necessarily even who we've been on a core level. We look at the habits we've had, we look at what we've done, what are our behaviors? And I don't think that our behaviors and our habits are who we are. We should never confuse who we are at our core with the behaviors that we've adopted over time. Those are external. Those are things that we just do. Now. Everything, in some way or another is part of who we are. But there's always another layer. Maybe a layer that a part of ourselves that we haven't experienced in a long time, or maybe a part of ourselves that we've never experienced because we've never driven ourselves in that way. We find out who we are by having new experiences, new adventures, by trying things, figuring out what we don't like, by reacting to a situation in a way that we later feel guilty for or resent ourselves for or feel frustrated about. And that tells us more about the type of person that we really want to be. But we only know that when we take chances, when we try new things, that's what tells us who we really are. If someone kept telling me, be yourself, be yourself, be yourself, I never would have stepped on stage and started public speaking because I was terrified of that thing and I thought that I didn't enjoy it. But once I started to get good at that thing, I started to really adopt it as part of me. I like performing. We have to always be questioning who we think we are. When did I decide that I was that thing? And is it really true. Could I be something else? I kind of think people have to stop sitting there trying to figure out, trying to discover who they are and start designing who they want to be. People sit there and they meditate and meditate and meditate. They go on journeys to try and discover themselves. Figure out who you want to be. More to the point, figure out the goals that you have. What are the goals that I have? And what type of person do I need to be to achieve those goals to achieve the things that I want to achieve in my life? That's a much more practical question than sitting there trying to discover nonstop who we are. And the next time someone tells you to be yourself, really think about it for a moment and ask yourself, seriously, am I choosing the route I'm choosing because it's really who I am? Or am I saying this is who I am in order to avoid something I'm afraid of, Something maybe I'm not good at yet but could get good at if I stepped out of my comfort zone? So keep taking risks, guys. Keep messing around with who you are. Keep trying new things and dabbling in different ideas and personality traits. Come to that conclusion yourself by the experiences you have in your life. Take care, my friends. If you want to hear more about this type of stuff, if you're really enjoying the depth of this. The retreats that I do this year are the place where we really get into this because that's where we go deep and we really figure out what we want in our lives and where we're going. I have just one retreat left this year that's not sold out. That's in November in Florida. If you want to find out more, check out check out the link below. Otherwise, keep an eye out for the next video. Take care, my friends. I'll see you soon.
