In this recorded Love Life radio segment, Matthew Hussey fields a call from Sarah, who has recently returned to her hometown and is interested in a shy, egoistic guy she previously hooked up with. Sarah asks whether she should wait for a group setting or directly ask him out. Matthew advises her to treat her return as an opportunity to rebuild her social network. He suggests becoming a regular at local spots (coffee shops, bars, gyms), joining classes, and leveraging existing married friends by hosting small gatherings where they bring single acquaintances. He emphasizes framing herself as someone rebuilding their life after years away, which encourages others to help. Matthew recommends a dual-track strategy: simultaneously expanding her circle and involving the guy in shared city‑exploration activities (e.g., trying new restaurants together). This approach provides options, prevents over‑focus on one person, and builds confidence. The conversation ends with Sarah thanking Matthew and mentioning his Impact program, and Matthew promotes his contact number and Facebook presence.
Chapters
Hello, everybody. This is Matthew Hussie with love life, my radio show, which is very exciting for me every time I do it. We have a caller on the line today. Are you there, caller?
I am here, Matthew.
Wow.
It's been a long time since we ran into each other at LAX, if you remember.
Tell. Tell me, when did we meet? I bet you don't know how many people I've run into at LAX.
It was back in March. It was LAX. You were on the way to one of your get the guy tour events at I don't know if you remember or not. I'm sure you run into people.
I was sitting down in a chair when you came up to me, right, in the little waiting area at the gate. I remember. Okay. So Sarah, let's do this. What's your question?
Well, the reason I called in today, it's because I need to seek your advice in something. I recently moved into a new town and all of my friends there graduated and they have moved to other states. So, and coincidentally, there is this guy. I've had a crush on for a long time. He also moved into the same town. But right now, I don't have anything fun to invite him to. Should I just wait until I find or I make more friends and just invite him to, like, a group event or just be direct about it and just tell him, okay, let's go out for drinks or grab a bite. So what do you think? He's a shy type, very. egoistic, if you call it. And he's a type that never approaches girls. And I know that he likes me because he has hit on me in the past and we have hooked up once. So what do I do about this situation? I know you have an answer for me.
Well, I will attempt to be slightly more epigrammatical than the question. The question you asked, firstly, you've moved back to a new city, haven't you? Or to your old city, I should say.
It's my old city, yes.
Okay, so you have an advantage. Now, if you were someone just calling me to say, I've just landed in a new city, I now need to know how to navigate my way through it and meet new people and have interesting things to do. My first piece of advice to you would be to go out and become a regular in certain places. If you, for example, are a regular in a coffee shop and you keep going there and you keep meeting the person behind the counter and having a little conversation with them, eventually you'll get to know them. You'll get to know other customers and people who frequent that venue and eventually you'll build connections that might lead to going somewhere. The same applies in your favorite bar, the same applies in the gym. Obviously, something you can do over and above that is join a class because when you join a class, you actually get to meet people through that class and you have an excuse to socialize while you're there. as a very easy step, it gives you a reason to go and socialize with people instead of feeling like you're just going out on your own to a place. So that's a nice thing to do as well. Now, the point of all that is to meet people and to build connections that could take you further. Now, I always say to people, empower other people to help you. Tell them that you're new in the city. And again, let's stick with the person who's new in a city, and I'm gonna come to you in a moment. with your situation. If you were new in a city, you would empower other people to say, look, I'm new in this city. I'm trying to find new places. If you have any recommendations or anything going on, let me know. I'd love to, I'd love to join because people like to help that person who's new in a city. It makes them feel important and confident in their city. So that's the first thing I would say. Now you have an added advantage. All of that still applies to you, except you're not going to say, you know, I'm new in this city. You're going to say, I haven't been in this city in years. you know, I honestly, I want to meet some new people and make some new friends. I'm building my life here again after years of being away. That will have the same effect. But the other benefit you have is there probably are some people you do still know from that place. Is that right?
Yes, yes, I still know, but only I'm left only with my married friends.
That's okay, because what you can do every now and again is invite your married friends over for drinks or a little bit of food, have a little, it doesn't even have to be a dinner party, just a little gathering at your house, get some drinks and tell everyone, look, bring more people. I want to meet people now that I'm back in town. So everyone brings somebody. That way, you'll meet their friends who won't necessarily be married. Now, that doesn't mean you're going to meet someone you're really attracted to. It just means you're going to start expanding your circle. Now to the guy that you were talking about, what you're really talking about is being able to be confident in that place and in your social life so that you can bring him into your world, correct?
Yeah.
So the quicker you begin going and trying out new places, the quicker you can say, oh, come to this place. I just tried it the other day. It's really nice. Or let's go eat here. Oh, by the way, involve him in the experience. I really want to go and try this place. I just moved back to town. Let's go try this sushi spot. It looks amazing. So you involve him in your rediscovery of the city. That can be fun too. So you can do it both ways. Does that make sense?
Yeah, absolutely. So your recommendation is just try to make my social circle first and then approach him, right?
Well, I think you can do both at the same time, but, you know, there's no harm in building up your life in the process while you're talking to him. Because what that's going to do is it's going to give you options. You're also going to realize, by the way, that he's not the only guy in the city. That's going to help. It's going to make you less inclined to focus only on him, which is a recipe for disaster, especially when you're trying to find your feet in a new city. So you don't have to avoid contact with him until this special time when you're ready in your social life. and you'll never be fully ready. But I would say do both simultaneously. Go and build your life independently of him, try new places, meet new friends, meet new guys, and at the same time, you can be talking to him and involving him in little parts of that discovery process.
Okay. Okay. I'll make sure to do that. Yeah, I think you answered my question and I have to thank you for your advice, your positive energy, and I have to say that it's not really relevant, but I'm in your impact program and I think it's awesome and everybody should get on it too.
Thank you so much. That means the world to me. I just released that and I've been very, very excited about hearing people's feedback. So you're actually the first one, the first caller I've had on the radio who has mentioned it. In fact, I think you're one of the first callers I've had since the program released. So that you can't imagine how much that means to me. So thank you.
Well, I'm glad to have you, Matthew. I'm sure in future I will call for more advice, but it was great talking to you.
We hope you do. Thank you, Sarah. And thank you all for listening. This has been Love Life. I'm Matthew Hussey. That was Sarah, the lovely Sarah. If you want to call in and ask some advice, you can call on 844-204-62-88. That's 844-204-MATT. and if you're not following me on Facebook right now, go there and do that. All the latest information, news, articles, videos from Moi. I will see you there. It's coach Matthew Hussey is the Facebook name. I'll see you soon.
