Matthew Hussey argues women should stop waiting to be chosen and start actively selecting men they want. He points out the paradox: women are proactive in careers and business but passive in dating. His approach uses real-time practice to help women make the first move and treat dating like choosing from a buffet rather than waiting to be approached.
There are amazing guys everywhere. We have to have a way of meeting them. Now, think of it like this. As a woman, you don't want to be running up to guys out of nowhere. But there are ways of doing it. There are ways of making it really simple. And what women forget is that women have been doing this for a long time. Women have been doing this for a long time. Women think that women don't make the move. They do. They do. And even the women who look like they don't make the move are making the move. Think of it like this. We're in the olden days. A woman walks past a man that she likes, and as she walks past him, knowing that she likes him, she drops her handkerchief. And then she keeps walking. And the guy sees the handkerchief and he says, this is an extraordinary opportunity to be a man. He picks up the handkerchief, he walks it over, and he says, ma' am, I believe you dropped this. And now they have a conversation. Now, he, in his male mind, thinks he did that. He thinks he did that. He thinks he made the move. He didn't. She did. She chose him. Now, I don't know when women stop doing that, but they did. They stop choosing the guys they want and they wait to be chosen. And it drives me fricking crazy. Because they wonder why they always end up with the guys they don't want. It's because they wait to be chosen. Now imagine a scenario where we wait to be chosen and how likely that makes it that we're going to meet the guy we've always wanted. Women don't do any other things in their lives like that. Like, women kick ass. They go and kick ass in every area of their lives. They kick ass at work. They go out, they get the job they want. They get the promotion they want. They start their business. They're powerful. They do stuff every other part of their life. Women don't go shopping like that. They don't walk into a department store and stand there and go, now I'll just wait for the right dress to come to me. It doesn't happen like that. What do they do? They walk in and they choose. They start shuffling through racks. They find something. No, throw it away. Find something, throw it away. Find something, throw it away. They take 10 things to the changing rooms, they try it on. No, no, no. Then they find one. They like it. They buy it, they kick ass. And yet, in their love lives, it's like they become completely different people. It's like the one area of their lives where they wait and it's so tragic because they deserve more than half the guys that are coming up to them. But the problem is, if we're always waiting for people to do something, we're constantly choosing from the select pool of guys that come up to you, instead of the entire buffet of guys that is out there. Women who come like we run weekends where intensely I take people through an entire process. I take people through a process where they don't just learn everything from start to finish, but they literally get to a point where they can go out and they can make stuff happen. They go out and they make stuff happen that evening. It's crazy. And they will come in the next day and they will say that it's suddenly, this area of my life is like a buffet. I can go out and I can just choose who it is I want instead of waiting to be chosen.
