In this video, Matthew Hussey addresses a 50‑year‑old divorced woman who feels stuck using Tinder and other dating apps, encountering younger men with short‑term intentions or older men seeking much younger partners. Hussey acknowledges the limited time she has due to parenting and entrepreneurship, and reframes the problem: instead of searching for a partner in isolation, she should integrate dating into the activities she already wants to do. He advises her to pull forward items from her "life list"—such as joining a book club, travel group, or running club—and to make existing routines (gym workouts, solo hobbies) more social by attending classes or group sessions. By doing so, she simultaneously fulfills personal goals and expands her social network, increasing the odds of meeting compatible men. Hussey emphasizes that meeting the right partner doesn’t have to sacrifice personal growth; it’s about doing the most sociable version of the things you already love. He concludes with a call to action, offering his paid programs for deeper, structured support.
Chapters
Hello everybody, this is Matthew Hussey. I was on TV recently when a woman in her 50s came to me and she said, I've been divorced for four years. Since then I've been dating on Tinder, I've been on online dating sites. I've been trying to be proactive in my love life. I've been dating, she said, but you know, it seems like so many of the men I'm meeting are either guys who are younger and they're attracted to the older woman, but that's not necessarily going to last, or they're my own age or older who are looking for the 25 year old or the 30 year old who's way beneath their age group and having some sort of midlife crisis. Now the thing I loved about this woman is that she said to me, it's not that I don't believe that the guys are out there who are in the right age group for me and have been through that midlife crisis and are looking for someone now that they can actually relate to and have a real relationship with. She said, I know they're out there, she said, but they're so hard to find. And she said, I have a 15 year old son and that takes up a lot of my time. And I also am an entrepreneur. She works with people in social media. So she said, so that takes up my time as well. She said, so there's limited time and I really understand this person, or at least I can understand how difficult it must be for this person to think about going out there and finding someone, as she put it, to spend the next 40 years with. You know, she saw herself as young and she said, I've got a lot of years left in my life. I want to find someone to spend it with. But how am I going to find that guy that I really want to spend the rest of my life with and spent wants to spend the rest of his life with me? Firstly, every single one of us has things that we want to do in our lives before we die. We have this kind of life list, right? You're young at your age, you're in your 50s, you're young, you've got many, many years left. Yet out of the things that you still want to do, which of those could you bring forward and do today? And the reason I say that is because it's when we're out there doing things that, that we have the opportunity to be exposed to a different type of person than we're normally meeting. So yes, you can be on online dating sites and that's fine, and I applaud that and I think that's a great vehicle. But that doesn't mean it has to be your only vehicle. You could still be out there meeting a different type of man than you're meeting right now by doing some of the things that you want to do anyway. Have you always wanted to be part of a really interesting peer group of people intellectually that read certain books? Is there a book club you can go and join? If you. Is there a traveling group you can be a part of that actually travels around and goes to see places together? Have you always wanted to be a better runner? And you've always said to yourself, you know what? I've always hated running, but I really have wanted to be good at it my whole life. I want to join a running group. What is it right now that you can be a part of that you want to do at some point in your life? But you've been putting off those things. Even if you don't meet the right guy when you're there, you won't regret doing because they're things you wanted. They were on your life list anyway. So I'd encourage you to go and do those. I know that you don't have time to go and take up 50 new things when you've got got a son and when you've got things going on in your life when you're working hard to pay the bills, I know you don't have time for all of that, but you do have time for the things you wanted to do in your life anyway. And those are the things you need to start bringing forward because they'll bring you into contact with new people. The second piece of advice is to socialize the activities that you're already doing. If right now you go to the gym and you work out with your headphones in and you're on your own in your solitary workout, maybe you need to join a class with where you're doing the same thing or something similar. Right? A little bit of compromise never hurt anybody. But you're doing similar things in a group of people. There's guys there. Or maybe it's an all women class. It doesn't matter if you have new single friends. Those can be just as helpful as meeting a hot guy in your class because they're gonna be the ones banging on your door saying, let's go out next week. So meeting new people in ways that you would normally be spending time on your own. Get creative on doing the most social version of whatever you do in your life anyway. People so often think that meeting the right guy is something that has to take away from everything else in your life, like they're mutually exclusive goals. I'm either doing all of the things I actually want to do in my life, or I'm out there doing a bunch of shit I don't want to do. To meet the right guy doesn't have to be that way. My view on it is this. Spend your life actively doing the things that you really want to do. But if you're looking to meet someone, do the most sociable version of the things you're going to do anyway and start ticking off some of the things that are on your life list that, you know, maybe you were saying to yourself, you're going to do in five years or 10 years. Start doing some of them today. Because if they get you out there and get you meeting people, they're going to be killing two birds with one stone. You're living your life the way you always wanted to live it, and you're bringing yourself into contact with new and interesting people. This is an exciting time in your life. You don't give in to the excuses that everyone feeds you. Instead, go out there and live the life you want to live and get proactive about meeting the type of men you want to meet. So I love that you're here watching. I love that you're the proactive type of woman that actually wants to do something in her love life, whatever age you're at. I know you wouldn't even be watching this right now if you weren't that type of person. And if you want more of my help with this, because I come here every week on YouTube and give you lots of different ideas. But if you want a specific approach to getting out there and talking to guys and starting to build real relationships with new types of guys and go here, I have programs for this. We'll link it up right here. Click through and check it out for yourself. Otherwise, I will see you in next week's video. Thank you so much, everyone.
