Did You Sleep With Him Too Soon?

Hi guys, it's Matthew here. Look, a lot of women come to me asking how do I deal with it if I feel like I've slept with a guy too soon? I like the guy, I feel like I moved a little too quickly, how do I rein it in? Well, firstly, never regret your decision to sleep with someone if you've already done it. If you've done it, own it. You probably did it because you were attracted to someone or because you thought it would be a good time, probably was a good time. If you like him, Don't feel regret for it, own it and enjoy the fact, celebrate the fact that you had a good time. Many women think that because you somehow slept with him too soon in the timeline that he's gonna lose respect for you. Now that's true of some guys but it's not true of all guys. The reality is what really makes a guy lose respect is if A he feels like you broke your standards and B if you don't really own your actions, if you feel like you regret it and it was a mistake and then when you come to him you say oh I really should he shouldn't have slept with you that quickly. I wish I hadn't. Then he loses respect, 'cause he's like, oh, why isn't she just owning it? So is there something you can say in this situation, if you have slept with a guy too soon, to rein it in and slow it down? Yes, let's take a common scenario. If a guy has already slept with you, there's a very good chance that the next time you go out, you go to the movies, you go to a bar, whatever, he's gonna try and take you home at the end of the night. And in his mind, that will probably be a natural thing to do. It's not like it's a, it's not a negative thing on him. It's just a natural thing to do. If you've already done that with someone, it seems a lot easier the next time and a lot more natural to just go in that direction. At that point, when he says, do you wanna come back? That's your time to assert your new standard with him. So you can say to him, you know what? I am really tempted. But the truth is, it wouldn't really be me if I carried on being intimate with someone and I didn't know where it was going. I had an amazing time with you when we did it, 'cause you're insanely attractive and I have a great connection with you and that's why I did it in the first place, even though that probably wasn't my style. Why don't we slow it down a little bit and see where this goes and, you know, maybe it will arrive back there, but more naturally, because it wouldn't really be me to keep moving this quickly. without knowing where it's going. That's a really lovely endearing thing to say to someone which both celebrates what you did because you can still admit like it was a lot of fun when we did that. You could say you and I have crazy sexual chemistry. So it was so much fun. I just it wouldn't be me to keep moving that fast without knowing where this is going. That's so sexy and he'll have such respect for you because A you owned your actions before. You didn't go into that place of regret where you're like oh, I shouldn't have done it and you're playing the violin for yourself. No one thinks that's attractive. Instead you're owning your actions but at the same time you're stating your standard which is that you can't continue to do this without having some sort of meaning in the relationship or some sort of direction in the relationship. Not sleeping with a guy doesn't make him respect you But showing that you have a standard that you're willing to stick to is a really sexy thing to a guy. And don't ever buy into this idea that, oh, I slept with him already, I ruined it. It doesn't work like that. You can literally assert a new standard any way you want in a relationship. And as long as you're strong enough to actually own it and stick with it, people will have to accept that new standard. And very often, people gain a newfound respect for you. because you decided that this is a standard I want to live by. So that's it, short and sweet this week. If you have someone that you've slept with and you think it's too soon and you want to reign it in, just try that line and I'll be back with more tips next week. Thank you so much for watching guys. Leave a comment, let me know what you thought of this video, interact with me, talk to me and if you're not on our Facebook page by the way, come join us there. I know many of you aren't on our Facebook page, it's facebook.com/ www.matthewhussie.com/CoachMatthewHussie. We'll link it up under the video and also at the end of the video. Take care guys, have a wonderful weekend.