Ditch Your Excuse and Get Your Guy

Are we on? This is. This is my little snack bowl. This is. This is like sort of like a scene out of a beautiful mind, isn't it, Jameson? Do you know what I mean? These are all little ways that I trigger thoughts for 40 hours of speaking over the next five days on my retreat. I'm going on a retreat in San Diego for a lovely group of ladies who have made it. And this is what I'm gonna be talking to them about. We've been reading some comments, haven't we? We like to keep up to date with what the fans are saying, both the sane ones and the idiots. A few of you have nominated me for the ice bucket challenge, I see. I don't know. I mean, I sort of, I feel bad, but I don't know if I'm gonna do it. We'll decide by the end of this video. Yeah? Basically, today I want to do a video about excuses. We were talking about doing this video for a while, weren't we, Jameson? About excuses, both the valid ones and the invalid ones. That's what I'm getting all the time. People talk about reasons why they can't do things. Some complaining is fine. And as you go through life and do things, it's okay to be pissed off or frustrated. But I think you have to be like beating your head against the wall and really trying and failing in order to earn the right to get annoyed and make excuses for years. in Get the Guy, I have had women come to me with all manner of excuses why their love life isn't right. It's not that I'm okay when someone's really trying and they give me excuses, but I think at least you're trying. You've earned the right to be annoyed about certain things that are in your way. But when people aren't even trying, when they're just sitting on the sidelines and making excuses about why they're not making that thing happen, that's when it gets frustrating. I didn't. Did I even tell you I wrote a poem about this years ago? See if I can find it. Here it goes. I'm too old, I'm too young, I'm too tall, I'm too dumb, I'm not pretty, I'm divorced, I have kids, I'm no fun, I'm fat, I'm so fussy. Tell that guy, Matt Hussie, that I don't live in the right place. There's nobody here. These men are all morons. If they're not, then they're queer. I have this one guy friend that likes me. He's nice. But the men I really like, they're taken, unobtainable, or emotionally unavailable. They're super successful. They're out of my league. Well, I guess there is this one guy. But it's complicated. It's a long story. You wouldn't understand. We had this one perfect date. He was holding my hand. I went home, got excited, and waited for his text message to land. And they did for a time, until he stopped calling completely. I don't get it, we hit it off amazingly. My friends say he's not ready, that he's intimidated by me. It's impossible to be independent when men don't want strong, they want demure and reserved, who underneath wears a thong, someone who's crazy and wild in the bedroom, but even though on the inside is a riot, on the outside he can tell just shhh, you're so pretty when you're quiet. It's not hard to see why I'm single, in fact I'm surprised I'm still straight, because men just aren't worth it, their flaws are innate, you expect me to get proactive? Then tell your men to be men, because having balls is attractive. It's so easy for you to stand up there and preach about ideas and strategies and empowering beliefs. This advice, these techniques, they're so easy to say. Let me ask you a question. What makes you a love guru anyway? Jameson, what do you think of 2007? writer Matthew Hussey. Thank you for the feedback. Thorough, as always. I could sit here and there are programs where I would sit there and go through every excuse and dissect why it doesn't have to be an excuse. We could talk about looks and how they're subjective and not objective and how people continuously change their tastes as they get older. I could talk about age and how all of these women get to a certain age and they think that men don't want them anymore and then they find a guy who does want a woman that age. They find someone who's super attractive. They found the real thing that was holding them back was the fact that they were negative about their age, that they carried it as baggage, as an excuse. And when the guy saw it was baggage for her, he started to back away and decided that it was too much for him as well. You could use kids as an excuse. I'm a single mom. Do guys really want a single mom? I could find plenty of guys that may say to themselves, I don't want to date a single mom. And then when they meet a single mom and get emotionally attached, all of a sudden it's a different story. The single mom also tells me that she has I have no time. I have no time. I've got kids. I've got places to go. I've got people I've got to look after. I've got to go to work. I've got to earn money. But then when I dissect her time hour by hour, day by day, I always find cracks of time that she can use to go out and meet somebody. And guess what? You might say, I don't have time for a relationship, but you don't have time to flirt. You don't have time to date. That's crazy and it's bullshit and you know it. I'm not saying it's not harder for some people than others. I'm not saying that if you live in a town where it's population nine people and five of them are your family, it's going to be as easy as it seems. easier if you live in New York. But guess what? People from New York are making their own excuses. They're saying there's too many people, that they don't know what to do with all of them, that all of these people are so transient that they keep looking for the bigger, better deal, that they wish they lived in a town where it was more communal and it was more cozy and they could just settle down with somebody. Everybody has their excuses. Some people genuinely have it harder than others. Some people have difficulties. Some people have something that really does hold them back. But you have to decide whether the excuse is more important to you than the result. I always say, you can love, you can have the excuse, or you can have the guy, but you can't have both. So if there's a limitation, if there's something that makes it harder for you, I'm not talking about a Pollyanna approach where you decide, oh, well, I'm just gonna get happy about this and understand that there's absolutely nothing wrong. No, sometimes there's things wrong. But sometimes those hurdles are the very things that train a muscle, that make you stronger, that develop you in other ways. When people go blind, they develop their other senses. you can develop the other parts of yourself even if one part of yourself is difficult to get up to a certain level for you. What's your excuse? Is it true? Are you using it as too much of an excuse right now? Have you decided that this limitation is going to make you weaker instead of stronger? Because you can choose either path. I want you to write it down. I want you to analyze it. Be ruthless about it no matter what is going on in your life. You have the strength, you have the power, you have the ability and the creativity. to turn it into something that can actually be a gift in some form or another. This isn't me talking from some stupid self-help place, I promise you. This is one of the most practical techniques there is for turning the biggest difficulties in life into the biggest strengths and the things that can actually get you to where you want to go because they build the strength to get there that other people don't have when it's easy for them all the time. So that's it for today. I know that many of you are watching this now waiting for me to do the ice bucket challenge. I'm good. And I know I talk about excuses, but I don't have time to do that in the next 24 hours. Jameson needs time to even edit the video. I mean, he's, you should see how slow Jameson is. Look, it's about ALS. Right, this is a terrible disease. It needs more funding, we need to raise awareness for it. It has nothing to do with the ice. Not to mention, by the way, you may not live in LA, but I do. There's a water shortage here. We're in a drought. Look at how much ice I have. Look, what am I gonna do with that? Alright, you win. I'll do it. Here goes. Wait, hang on. Let's do it outside. I'm not doing it in here, because it's gonna go everywhere. All right, here we go. Let's do this. I am Matthew Hussey. This is the Ice Bucket Challenge. We don't normally do this sort of silly stuff on this channel. We're usually very serious. We don't like to do things in this gimmicky way, but I thought, why not for today? So, Here it is, Matthew Hussie, the Ice Bucket Challenge. It f***ing go! That's worse than I thought it would be. I really thought I'd be able to react how I wanted to react, like Oh, shall I react angry? Shall I think it's funny? And then as soon as it hit me, I was like, just game over. Can you do one more?