This is a YouTube video titled "Don't Even Think About Rekindling With Him Until You Watch This... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)" created in October 2019. The content is a conversational session featuring Matthew AI and Julie discussing relationship issues, specifically about rekindling a past romantic relationship. Matthew AI provides advice and guidance on evaluating whether to get back with an ex, emphasizing the importance of commitment and clear communication. The conversation includes multiple speakers and is focused on relationship coaching.
Chapters
You were with this guy for three years. You had a great relationship.
Yes.
He then out of nowhere broke it off.
We had issues. It was a lot of stress.
Okay.
Which is what I think.
And also-- so he broke it off on New Year's Eve, and now it's been two years, and now he wants you back?
He's been trying to make contact with me in the past, but I always blew it off.
Right.
But now he showed up in person, so I have to-- well, the things.
That broke down the relationship two years ago, do you feel confident that they've been resolved?
I feel like we can work through it, yes, I do.
Does he? Yeah. Do you believe him when he says how committed he is?
Yeah.
You do?
I do, yeah.
What has changed in two years that makes you suddenly think I can trust his intentions here? And not just his intentions, but his ability to follow through?
Yeah.
What's changed?
I feel like he lost me and he felt the consequences of that. And he tried to make several attempts to contact me and I turned him away and he felt that consequence of not having me around and having to actually go out there in the world and date other people and try to find a relationship that was right for him. And he failed, you know, he couldn't do it.
So look, it happens all the time, two people pick up again years later, and sometimes it works. What you have to be, if you're gonna do this, you have to be confident that you're not going in to something blindly that, you know, really all that's changed is he's had time away to miss you. But the actual fundamentals of what made you not work before haven't changed. You need to be really careful of that. If the fundamentals have changed in the time that you've had apart and two years is a good amount of time, don't get me wrong, is better two years than two weeks in some ways. Because if you're apart for two weeks and someone says, no, I realize the error of my ways. Well, have the fundamentals really changed in two weeks? The things that broke us up, probably not. Two years is a good amount of time, right? But you have to feel confident that the fundamentals of what broke you up before have changed and that that means you can intelligently say things actually have a real shot at being different now. Otherwise you're just going in blind. So you may want to have those conversations with him, right? Hey, I need you to get out of. Of gravel mode. I need you to get out of desperation and panic and you're gonna lose me and you're freaked out. I need you to get out of that. Yeah, because right now I need to talk to you as two grown-ups. who you're asking me to embark on a new journey with you. And we as two grown-ups need to have a conversation about whether anything is really different or whether you just miss me and you haven't found anyone better.
Yeah. Right?
Because I don't want you to want me because you didn't find anyone better. Because it's not about whether I'm better. It's about you wanting me as a unique individual. It's not about whether. Did I find anything in two years that compared? No. I don't want to be that, because one year from now, you might find someone who's better than me in some way. And then what am I going to do?
Right?
I don't want someone who's weighing me up against the rest of the world. I want someone who's decided, who's made a decision that they want to build a life with me. That's what I want. And that has nothing to do with whether I beat everyone else on every category or not. That's, that's, you know, that's a card game.
Right? Right.
I'm not, I'm not in this for you because I'm not going to be with you because you didn't find anyone better in the last two years.
Right, I don't want to be his backup plan, you know?
Not even his backup plan. I don't want to be the person you come to because suddenly you realize I'm great.
Right?
Love is a decision. Commitment is a decision.
Right?
You don't commit to someone because you go, I'm never gonna find anyone better.
Right?
You commit because then what happens if you do? You commit to someone because you say, I feel it in my bones, I want to be with this person and I'm gonna go all in with this person. And whoever comes along in my life from now on, it doesn't matter. It's not about whether someone's better or not. It's about the fact that I've decided to build this relationship. And so that's what I would do. I would have a real conversation with him, a serious conversation with him, not based on romance. Because of course it's romantic after two years being apart to get back together again. Fuck, that's exciting.
Of course.
How could it not be? How could it not, how could it not for the next year be a honeymoon?
Yeah.
Or six months or whatever. But it's not about the feelings. It's not about the honeymoon. It's not about the romance. It's about have the fundamentals changed. And I need to talk to you as a grown-up now, not as someone groveling at my workplace, but as someone as a grown-up who's either going to be in a serious relationship with me in my life and build something with me or someone who is just here because they're panicked.
And I don't want you here because you're panicked. And I kind of feel that now that you mentioned it, because he, he keep saying, like, okay, I'm 37, you know, like, I don't want to be 40.
That's about him.
Say.
And say to him, that's about you. That's not about me. And unless I feel it's about me, and until I feel it's about me, you being panicked is not a good enough reason for me to give up my life. Okay. All right. It's grown up.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you. So a bunch of you are probably watching that going, that was really great, Matt, but the person in my life isn't racing back to me. And this is someone I really want, this is someone I really care about. I'm trying to rekindle something with this person, but I'm not getting that energy from them. I just did a training with my Fast Track VIP members. which literally just happened a couple of minutes ago, we still have comments coming in right now about what I said, where there was a question from one of our members. And the question was, how do I get my ex back? By the way, not a question I like, but I have to answer the questions that I've been asked. How do I get my ex back? We are still able to converse and text. I have backed off a bit, well, a lot, but it's so hard. Thanks, Julie. So, Julie is one of my members and asked me this question. And whenever someone asks me a question like that, I try and have huge integrity in the way I answer it because most of the time I think it's a terrible idea to get your ex back. But I also acknowledge that there are certain situations where either there is the potential for something to be rekindled and it's something that could actually be good for both parties. And I also know that there are times when someone's going to try to do this regardless of whether I give them an answer or not. So, my view on this is, at least there needs to be a powerful, high value way to establish contact or re-establish contact with that person if you're gonna do it. So in this members webinar that I just did, I literally gave a blueprint for having that conversation with an exact script of what to say if there's someone in your life that you're not ready to let go of and you need to see if there is any potential still there. But I have very carefully worded this script so as to make sure that you come across as confident in control and you protect yourself in that conversation. So this is something that ordinarily would be reserved for my members, but I've cut this little piece out because I know it's relevant to so many of you out there asking me these questions every day. To get this video training that's completely free, by the way. I'm gifting it to you. Go to this link right here. Let it be said by me now that I believe it's probably most likely a terrible idea for you to want or try to get your ex back. But I know that if you apply what I show you in this video, that it's going to give you the best shot at rekindling something that should or could be rekindled, and it's going to protect you either way, so there's no losing. check it out. Go to this link and I will see you there.
