In this Mother’s Day‑themed coaching video, Matthew Hussey hosts a 90‑minute round‑table with three single mothers—Susie, Julie and Sarah—who share their real‑world dating struggles. The discussion reveals how motherhood adds layers of responsibility that shrink the dating pool, limit time, and create logistical challenges such as needing advanced planning for dates. Julie expresses frustration with online dating and a preference for in‑person connection, while Sarah talks about an age‑gap relationship that feels both exciting and temporary. Susie recounts contradictory advice from her own mother, highlighting the internal conflict many women face when deciding whether to stay in a relationship. Matthew offers guidance, emphasizing the need to balance heart‑driven desire with a longer‑term, brain‑based perspective, and to integrate personal‑growth activities with dating goals rather than making unrealistic time‑commitment promises. The session closes with a heartfelt celebration of all women who play mothering roles, extending Mother’s Day wishes to the participants and viewers.
Chapters
I know what you're asking yourself. Why the tie in this video? The button down jacket? The pocket square? It's Mother's Day and my mum likes me to dress nice. By the way, it's US Mother's Day, not UK Mother's Day, which means technically, mum, you get two now. But welcome to Mother's Day. This is gonna be a little celebration video of mothers everywhere. We decided recently to shoot a video for our Fast Track members that was a 90-minute coaching session with three single mums who all came to me with their honest, vulnerable situations as single moms out there in modern dating. I talked to them about the obstacles they faced, the shrinking dating pool, them feeling like it's tough to have the conversation with men about being a single mom and feeling like they don't have enough time. So many of the issues they were facing were also issues faced by other women with different circumstances. So although the full interview has gone up in the members area, I wanted to take a piece of this and give it to you guys. So I'm excited for you to meet Susie, Julie and Sarah. I hope you love them as much as I do. And once again, happy Mother's Day.
Being a single mum comes with its own challenges. I'm interested in what those challenges are and also I think by listening to these challenges, people who aren't a mum will still relate to them because they can relate to their own thing. that they feel like is a barrier.
Dating's different now than it was when I did it before. I was married for 16 years, so it's like I don't, you know, I don't, I still don't feel like I really know what I'm doing.
Right.
That's a lot of change for anybody, I think, when they come out into the world and all of a sudden they find themselves single to then go and date. Right.
And I don't think I've really figured out how to capitalize on the opportunities that are out there because I'm much more of an in real life person. I don't do really well with the whole online thing because I don't have the patience for or like, I don't wanna text you for like a month. I don't wanna email. I don't wanna, like, let's have coffee and if you like it, great. If we like each other, great. If we don't, no harm, no foul.
Because being a mom entails this big responsibility of, you know, I'm not only potentially working, I'm also finding time for my children and to raise them and to help them with their homework and all these different things that you do. must on some level make you feel a little less tolerant of the endless back and forth exchanges.
Well, and then the other challenge that I run into, as you said, is there's a lot of guys out there who are very interested, but, you know, they want to call you up on Thursday at 7 30 and be like, what are you doing tomorrow? And I'm like, I have three kids. I, you know, it's like, I need a little more advanced planning. Like, I love to be spontaneous, but I I can't.
Have you guys had that experience?
I don't have that experience because I have shared custody. I have 50/50. Mine is a little bit different. So I have like every other weekend and so I have like two hats. Like I have the mom hat and I'm all about the mom and the kids. It's like all of a sudden I don't have my twin boys. I'm just like I can do whatever I want. I can be here, I can go to the beach, I can sleep in. So it's like quite a doozy. But it's hard not to live in the moment and then hard. I don't know. I have a hard time.
So you feel like you jump in and out?
I do.
I don't know. I'm all over the place.
But it's because you were dating someone or you have been dating someone that's younger?
I was dating, yeah, we were been dating since July and he's 12 years younger.
Right.
And we had a ball.
There's the amazing feeling of being with that person, but Do you find that there is a kind of, it's hard to fully enjoy it if in the back of your mind somewhere there's this feeling of this is temporary.
Yeah, there is now, but there wasn't. There was like a shift. So we were just having fun and there was a shift and then it just, I just went for it. I was like, there's a clip, I'm gonna jump. I'm just gonna go with it.
I always remember when I would go to my mum and I'd say, you know, I'm, I don't know if this person's like the person. My mum had, she was kind of schizophrenic in her advice. Because she'd be like, you know, just have fun, are you enjoying it? Are you having fun in the relationship? And I'd be like, well, yeah, I mean, a lot of the time I am, yeah. She'd go, then just enjoy it. But what would happen is I'd say, okay, I get what you're saying, mum. But if this person isn't the right person, and on some level I know that now, am I not just wasting time? If this person isn't the right person, isn't it better that I let them go today instead of continue to go down that path where there's more pain for both of us? And she'd go, well, you know, I mean, if you don't feel like she's the one and blah, blah, blah, then maybe you should break up with her. And I'd be like, well, you just told me something completely different five minutes ago. That to me is like this sort of struggle that we all go through.
Matthew, here's the question for you. Do you follow your heart or do you follow your brain?
Well, I think that's a great question, but I think it's an oversimplification. I would say my heart 30 years from now was time traveling to today and saying, Hey, Listen, Matt, there's heartache coming because this person's not the right person. So even though this feels good right now and it feels like your heart right now, it's not.
I just started to push myself go out and do these activities because before that I was like, oh, I just enjoy my free time. Because I'm not, I don't have to deal with the ex. and then I'm free of all the arguments and depressed of life. So I actually enjoyed a couple of years of freedom. But then you feel like that's not enough, you know?
Yeah.
I need something happier, you know, for yourself. And then I think going out, do those activities and connect with people is a great start.
So that's great. So let's get so, and we'll go around because I think this is a this is useful. I want us to be really realistic. Because too many people, you know, either tell me I have no time, which is bullshit, or they say, From now on, I'm gonna go out there for an hour every day and blah, blah, blah. And I also know that's bullshit. So for you, you know, it's not enough just to say, what do I enjoy doing with my free time? Because if you have a bigger goal of I'd like to meet someone, then you have to find a way at least for some of that time for the activities that will help you reach that goal to co-exist with enjoying your free time. It's a wonderful thing to share our time and our life with someone and it's never to be, you know, I sometimes think people are a bit too in their effort to sound fine, single. They're always like, I don't need that to be happy. I'm fine on my own. And blah blah blah. And they're like protesting a bit too much. And I think, well, no, look, clearly there is an enormous appeal of a relationship. Why do we all talk about it so much? It's because it's wonderful. And when you find the right person with the right vision for a relationship that's compatible with yours, it's the most amazing thing. It's so amazing that we shouldn't settle for the wrong thing and give up the chance at that thing. I really believe that. It's too good to not find the greatest version of it. And luckily, as human beings in our time in between those relationships, we can be incredibly happy if we do more of the things that we actually like doing for ourselves and become more of the person we want to be. And that doesn't have to be the efforts to become more of who we want to be don't have to be different from the efforts that actually do find us someone anyway. I think that's the beauty of it.
I wish I had known you like 20 years ago. That would make life easier when I.
Was in my 20s.
Thank you. That's very sweet. It means the world to me, really. And Happy Mother's Day. Yeah, of course. That was the reason we decided all to get together. So Happy Mother's Day and, and Happy Mother's Day to, to all the other women out there as well. I know that there are plenty of of mums out there who are watching this video right now. Happy Mother's Day to you. I wanted this to be a kind of celebration of mums everywhere and also to be a celebration of anyone who plays the role of a mum. You know, not everyone has children, but many, many women out there play the role of a mum to somebody. My mum, you know, is my best friend in the world, but she has been a mum to many different people in some capacity over the course of her life. And, you know, I believe she was being a mum way before she had kids. So I wish you all an incredible day. And thank you, ladies, for being here with me. It means the world to me, and I look forward to seeing you all soon.
