Even When It’s Good, It Hurts... – [Love The Journey – Part 6]

We don't get to San Diego tonight though, do we? We get to LA tonight and we have to drive to San Diego first thing in the morning.

Well how do you think you're gonna feel when you're walking off stage and you're gonna go straight to the airport to go to San Diego and do.

It all again tomorrow? Ask me then. We thought this would be about London because it's our biggest event ever but it doesn't end with London, does it? We went to Manchester, we went to Dublin, we've been all over with this, and it works for women everywhere.

Burning within my heart and mind. Give five high.

Fives you've ever seen. Derek, I just want to say thank.

You for your start today.

It's been really a pleasure to work with you. All right, I'll see you soon. Okay, great.

What from you mean my... what about my jacket? Did you lose that one?

No, and you're bugging me. You're bugging all of us, James.

Did you have fun today?

Yes, I had lots of fun. I really love Matthew and I actually have been listening to him for a long, long time. Every morning when I get ready for work, I turn his YouTube video on. and while I'm doing my makeup, I'm listening to his advice. I have a date with a really cute and guy that I really like next Wednesday and hopefully I can apply all his advices this Wednesday. It's coming Wednesday.

What's dating Dallas guys like?

Dating Dallas guys since originally I'm from Houston. Dallas guys are, I would say, more reserved.

They're very humble in my opinion because they kind of have this like southern home style to them. I don't have I can't explain it, but they're very relaxed and they're very chill.

Some people will call it a cowboy culture. I've actually had a woman say that a lot of guys here in Dallas tend to be a little bit more metro, but that hasn't really been my experience. I would say that there's just a lot more upfrontness than in a city like Austin or Houston.

How do you feel about going to San Diego tomorrow?

I actually feel good. I feel good. Why do I, I don't know. I'm not, I thought I would be a mess. I feel good. It's funny, in one of the last videos we've been doing this kind of mini documentary over the last couple of months where I've been followed around by my wonderful genius of a cameraman, Jameson, who I have to surprise you You is at the back right there. Put your hand up Jameson, let him see you. The infamous Jameson. That's how you know you're special, is you actually get to see him. Had you not come, that never would have happened, because I'll be damned if he ever gets on camera. He's been making this documentary, a beautiful documentary, I hope you'll agree, about this journey we've gone on across the country. One of the things that I said in the last one, which was said out from my gut, but it was true, that there are certain parts of my career that are just shit. It looks good, it looks very glamorous and fun, but a lot of the time it's really crap. And it's frustrating and it's annoying and it's really hard work. And it's sitting on planes with back problems day after day after day, getting to the next location and being away from family and friends. And I said to him, It's shit, Even when it's shit, it's great. And I sort of feel like that about love as well. And so I think if we can get okay with that, we have a very strong starting place here today. Much stronger than if we came in hiding from all of the stuff that's bad about it and saying, I'm trying to find the good in this sea of bad. I'm trying to find the good guy in the sea of bad guys. What a terrible place to start from. Because every bad experience you now have It will only reinforce what you think you know already, which is that it's mostly bad, but you're trying to search for the elusive good. Even when it's good, even when it's good, you can meet the love of your life. When they go away on a work trip for a month, it still sucks, doesn't it? Because you miss them. You miss them. So even when it's good, it hurts. That's okay. That's part of it.

Guys, we still going out tonight?

I'm ready.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you have checked bags, then we'll be at baggage carousel number three.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm so excited.

No, well, it's Cindy Miss.

It's like 30 minutes away.

We literally just landed. So landing. La 1 a.m. or whatever it is. What time is it? Someone followed us to come and say hello and take a picture. I remember when I first got here, touched down here and no one knew who the hell I was. It's funny to me, madening, and for that to happen. Weird. Very, very weird. Ready? Yes.

This is for me?

Yeah, I did get that for you. I got you an almond milk latte as well, didn't I? For the road. Something to lift your spirits. That's the thing about me, Jameson. I might be the guy up on stage today, but I'm not too high and mighty to be your assistant when I need to be.

What made you decide to drive?

Yeah, well we left Dallas. We could have flown straight to San Diego, but I wanted to fly to LA so that I could then drive three hours because I like driving and I miss it. So this is like a little treat that I get. It's a treat to me to get you a lovely little almond milk latte to have you in the passenger seat and say enjoy your latte, Jameson. Enjoy your little Salted Caramel Crispy Treat that I got you and I'll do the work. You know, you just sit there and annoy me with the camera as usual. Fall in love with moments. Fall in love with little moments in every part of your day. And so there are different types of love. There is the love of a sunset. There is the love of a great cityscape when you're at the top of a hotel building and you see the city. in front of you. One of my favorite things in the world, showing up when I do a tour event, showing up, getting into my hotel room and looking out of the window. It's inspiring to see that before I go on stage and to know that that's what we do. You know, we've got some venues of this size and on a light.

Are people surprised of how musical the events are?

I don't know. I don't know to what extent people come in expecting the events to be like a show versus a sit down seminar, which I don't like the term seminar because it sounds so boring. To me it's like a combination of watching a live comedy act, a Broadway show where there's music and a concert where you're actually up and moving and dancing yourself and, you know, a seminar where you're actually learning all of this information. It really is a blend of all of those things. It's a unique experience in that sense. I don't think people expect it to be quite such a unique experience.

My question is, I do get asked for dates, but I'm never interested in those dates. And the guys whom I'm interested in, they are never interested in me.

If you were to have a guess at it, you seem very intelligent. So if you were to have a guess at it, why do you think that they don't see you as the sexual partner? Instead, they see you as the friend. If you were to guess.

Okay, this is my guess. I don't have a very friendly face.

Have another guess. Because if you didn't have a friendly face, no one would want to be your bro.

Exactly, I'm their bro friend, but I'm not their girlfriend.

But why do you think that is? It's not because you don't have a friendly face.

I really don't know, Matthew. I'm not sure.

I was sort of sexy when you said Matthew. I wish you'd do that more often. I wonder, I'm sorry, did you tell me your name? Yeah. What was your name?

You forgot? And you said I was special when you gave me the mic.

Maybe we should go for a beer and talk about it.

Don't you dare call me bro. I break your head, I promise.

Well.

Have you finished berating me in public?

No, I'm really here for the question of attraction. It never lasts. That's my question. It never lasts.

Well, I was just flirting with you and you shouted at me.

You forgot my name. I'm not interested suddenly.

But why did you use that opportunity to get angry with me?

No, I'm not angry with you. I'm letting you know.

We could have had such a little fun flirt right now.

Whatever you want it to be.

It's a tad forward. But let's just stay, let's stay with you. I still have, I still need your name if you.

My name's Tanu.

T-A-N-U. Tanu. Okay. That energy you had with me when you were, when you were having a bit of a a go at me. That's actually not bad. I just want you to channel it slightly differently. This is the thing to know. There are millimeters between you getting what you're getting now and you getting everything you want. Millimeters. I promise you. I know. I promise I know. If you had just said, you don't remember. When I said, what was your name again? If you said, you don't remember. And I said, no, I'm so sorry. And you said, I'm gonna tell you, but you better make that up to me. Now we have tension. Can you see how tiny the difference is between the two? One of them I feel shouted at. The other one, I'm like, oh, I'll make it up to you. We'll figure out a way. So, a tiny difference. So when I say your millimeters off, I'm not saying that to encourage you. I'm not saying it to flatter you. I'm not saying it to sugarcoat. I think you know by now I don't sugarcoat things. I'm saying it because I truly know. The difference between everything you want and where you are now is this. So let's talk about some ways to do it, shall we? Thank you so much for bringing that up.

This is the last event of the. This tour, right?

I mean, this is the last of the tour events, but the retreat in four weeks is like the culmination of all of this work over the last six months. You know, all of these people in all different cities that have decided they want to come and be part of this five-day experience are going to be coming to this one place where I'm going to see them all again, which is going to be really cool as well. If you think about it, we've traveled the country seeing all of these different women, and now a whole bunch of them are going to be coming back to one place and I'm going to see them again and be able to get to know them a bit more personally. so I can't wait. But it doesn't feel like the tour's over because we still have the retreat, which is going to be the fireworks at the end of it, I suppose. Thank you so much. You're awesome. Did you have a good day everyone?

Yeah.

This year has been, we've been touring non-stop since January, starting with the big London event. So it's been non-stop and we're about to plan another whole round of events for this year. And how do you keep your energy up? It's a good question. Yeah, this weekend has been a very long one. But it's good. I sort of love it. To me, it's like running a marathon. I feel so good at the end of it. I love the feeling of having killed myself and then the reward is that moment of calm afterwards. I know that must sound weird, but I loved the eight hours that allow me in the two afterwards to like just truly feel like I've achieved something and then relax. You know, I try and balance it out. Like for example, tonight I'll try and really unwind. Really truly unwind. Tomorrow I have team meetings at about three or four hours of team meetings in the morning, but then I'll try and I'll try and take the rest of the day to recuperate.

So who do you wish was here with you now? Besides us?

My mum, my dad, and my brother Harry and my brother Stephen.

Oh, my gosh. We're here, you guys. And then start crying.

Sam, how's it feel to be taking off your buck in this? I know.

This is why I'm gonna start crying. So I already bought the tickets to the actual Caravan, but we have to buy admission.

I'm actually more excited about this than I thought I'd be. Like, I. I hadn't had time to think about. not process it at all.

How long do we have till our carriage leaves?

We have to be there in 15 minutes, but it's literally right there.

We have to get it in time or it will leave without us. The rhinos wait for no one.

Do you guys know why rhinos are endangered?

Because of their horn.

Very good. They're hunted for their horn, which has been used in traditional medicines throughout Asia and Africa for the last Two thousand years. Before today, just by like a quick show of hands, how many of you knew that rhino horn was made out of fingernails? So like three and a half of you. So misinformation is what the big Z is.

Yes!

What are you excited about?

Snakes and spiders. I kept saying it. I asked you to ask the tour guide and what did you say? I'm not doing that. There's no snakes and spiders. This isn't that sort of a place. Well, what sort of a place is it?

By the way, I never said any of that other stuff. I just said I'm creeped out by snakes and spiders. Wait, where'd they say? And I'm creeped out by you enjoying snakes and spiders.

I don't enjoy them. I hate them. That's why I like seeing them.

NH.

Long day? So between the women of Dallas, the women of San Diego, and the animals at the Wild Animal Park.

What have.

You learned about planet Earth today?

You always give me the easy questions. I think for me a key moment was the tour guide. This is a guy who on A safari truck of about 10 people is trying to educate us on the rhinoceros and how this beautiful animal is being killed because a huge part of the population in a certain part of the world believes that the rhinoceros horn cures cancer, which is nonsense because it's made of the same stuff as our fingernails. I watch people out there who I think are saying things that are true, things that need to be heard by people and are being shot down by the masses who would rather hold on to their out-of-date ideas or their belief systems than question it. And here's something that might be a really rational, important idea to not even adopt, but at least take on board and think about. And it's disheartening sometimes, but seeing this one one guy who is out there Safari truck by Safari truck of just a handful of people saying, please put out this message with me. It's kind of inspiring. We have a much bigger audience than a Safari truck of people, and we get to discuss important ideas. And I think that's a really beautiful thing. And I think more people, no matter how big their audiences should be inspired by people like that guy. And now we get to go to the retreat where we have a whole bunch of people coming together for five days to challenge their own sense of truth, what they know about themselves, what they know about their lives, what they know about the world, because they want to reach a higher level. And if we really want to grow, we have to keep questioning ourselves. So I think people that come to the retreat are incredibly brave and I'm so excited to spend five days with them asking important questions and challenging ideas which is what we should all be doing constantly.

Is this your way of inviting me to come?

You're gonna... I want you to come to the retreat both to capture the retreat and so that I can spend time with my favorite imaginary friend.

What does an horizon line? We're alone with side by side We had to dream, we had to dream Nothing here is what it seems.