Feeling Insecure? This Video Will Change Everything (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

Insecurity ruins lives. Instead of enjoying our lives, enjoying the world around us, we spend all of our time worrying about ways in which we are inadequate. I'm about to play you a powerful clip from my live retreat that is going to shift your perspective on your own insecurities. Before I do that, I want you to think about two insecurities you have about your image. Two of mine, I used to hate my nose. I thought it was too big. I used to look at it from different angles in photos and hate the way it looked. It bugged the hell out of me. The other one, my hairline. When I got into my 20s and I started to feel this receding here in the corners, all of a sudden I got freaked out. I thought I was losing my hair and I was gonna go bald much sooner than I thought. What are your two? I want you to think about them. Get that feeling in your stomach when you have an insecurity that you can't change. and get ready for your perspective to be shifted.

We released a program called what Men Want. We said, we're gonna give out a prize for somebody out of these, I think it was three, four thousand people who have bought this program. We're gonna give out a prize, which is one hour with Matt. And this person came, this person showed up on a Skype call. I said, Hey, you know, are you ready? She said, I'm ready. I can't wait. I said, you, wanna do video? She said, absolutely, I want to do a video. I said, great. So I turned on my video, I think it was on a Sunday, for this hour of coaching. And this woman appeared on the video and what was immediately apparent was that this person had a disability. She was in a wheelchair. She said, Matt, it's so good to speak to you. I'm a big fan of everything you do. I have to ask you how do I get this guy who is a friend to be more than a friend? I said to her well how often do you see this person? She said not really ever we just text. I said well how often do you go out? She said only about once a month I leave the house. I said well forgive me for asking how much help do you need? She said, well, my parents are the only ones that I go out with. They take me out of the house. They have to help me use the bathroom when we go to coffee shops or when we're anywhere. I can't, you know, I really can't do anything other than talk without help. How do I get this friend to be more than a friend? And she said, she said, When I go out, I want to talk to people, but I'm worried that when I look at somebody, they're looking at me and they're just seeing the amount of responsibility they have. And I don't know if they'll be attracted to me. And I thought of every time that I have played the violin for myself when I've gone out and looked at someone and thought maybe they won't like me. and I thought of her. She gets to go out once a month with her parents who help her use the bathroom. And if she even wants to talk to someone, what's going through her mind is that she's not thinking they might not think I'm pretty enough. She doesn't have the luxury of just thinking they might not think I'm pretty enough. She's thinking this person is seeing a life with someone who needs help. every step of the way. They are taking on a full-time job by being with me. And for a second, it broke my heart to speak to this person. And the whole fucking thing made the whole, every reason I do my job made sense. And I said to her, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend to understand. because that would be patronizing. What I will say to you is you are unbelievably brave. Unbelievably brave. The work I would have to do on myself if I stepped into your shoes tomorrow for one day would be incredible. And you're already there. So let's start there. I'm sitting here humbly in front of you. Let's now talk about what I might be able to help you with. Let me tell you what I've learned and what we can do. And I didn't come from a place of feeling sorry for it because I don't, it's, you know, it's bigger than that. It's bigger than that. This person doesn't need someone feeling sorry for them. They need help. They need someone who gives them advice the same way I would anybody else. She watches, she's a woman, you know? She sits there on a Sunday and she watches my new blog video and she has fun. She's a woman. She's a woman. She doesn't need me sympathizing with her. She says, hey, help. You know what to say. Help. Let's talk. And it just, it all made sense to me. And that's, that moment is a privilege. And they, you don't know exactly when they're gonna come. You just know that there's gonna be moments where something means something to you and it connects with you.

Perspective is so powerful. Those moments where we realize where we are in relation to somebody else can be life altering experiences. Now, I don't know what you freak out about about yourself. I don't know what you spend your time worrying about, what you wish was different. But it is so important to introduce perspective. Perspective can be like a life raft. if you feel like you're sinking, if you feel like you don't like yourself, if you feel like there's so much that you have to worry about, looking at where somebody else is and seeing someone who has to deal with 10 times more than you is such a powerful thing. And even for the young lady I'm talking about in the video, there's somebody looking at her saying, you've got it made. You can talk. You've got it made. I can't even talk. Or there's somebody looking at her saying, you can leave the house once a month. I never get to leave this bed. Or I don't even know if I'm going to be here six months from now. You know that you're alive six months from now. You know you're healthy enough. I don't even know if I'm going to be around. You've got it made. Perspective can be a shortcut to gratitude. To being grateful for what you have instead of being preoccupied with what's wrong, the ways in which you feel you're inadequate. Now, perspective can also be limited. Many of us get perspective in a moment, something that shifts us, and then we forget about it. The moment we engage again with our personal suffering, we forget about that lesson we learned. That's the problem. So perspective can be a life raft, but that's not the same as happiness. Happiness comes from falling in love with your situation and from falling in love with yourself. When people go through my retreat program, they're not just changing their perspective. They're changing their personal reality because they're falling in love with themselves and their life. Maybe for the first time. My hope is that this video will be a pressure valve for you anytime you need to shift your perspective. But if you want to go that next step, if you want to change your reality and fall deeply in love with you and your life, and if you want to do that with me, I want you to click this link and explore the retreat program for yourself. Now is the time. Other than that, I will see you in next week's video.