Matthew HusseyYour Personal 24/7 Love Life Coach

Fifty Shades Darker In REAL LIFE... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

22 Jan 2017 · 2 min

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1:41

The transcript presents a comedic, heavily repeated dialogue between a parody version of Christian Grey and a character named Anastasia, mimicking scenes from the 'Fifty Shades' franchise. The exchange is absurd and nonsensical, featuring repeated lines about boredom, drama, manipulation, and sexual innuendo. The sketch uses exaggerated power‑dynamic language, repetitive phrasing, and random interjections to mock the original material’s melodramatic tone and to satirize toxic relationship tropes. The purpose is entertainment through satire, highlighting the absurdity of the source material’s themes by amplifying them to a ridiculous degree.

Chapters

Dum dum dum dum dum dum. Anastasia, I want you back. It's too much effort to explain all my weirdness to a new woman. Have dinner with me.
It's been literally three days since you made me cry with spankings. Okay, fine. I will have dinner with you because I'm horny hungry. This is fun. Because there's no abuse.
Smiling is new for me. Are you happy? Because he has no personality?
I've never been happier because I'm 21 years old and he's the only person I've ever dated. And he has a boat this time. No punishments, no commands, and no more secrets.
Secretly take off your panties under the table.
You've been listening, right?
Whoops. Left my shoes untied. It's a bit suspider. Went up the lady's leg.
He wasn't listening.
Dum dum dum dum dum. Here's some random shit to distract you from how boring I am.
We have such a deep connection. Muscles.
Clothes in the shower. Definitely not boring.
Do you think adding crazy exes will make this film interesting?
All the men in this story have a reputation of flirting by being rapey.
I feel like you're surrounded by a lot of unnecessary drama.
Right. And you know me, I hate drama.
Son of a.
If anything were to happen to you, I'd have to find somebody else just as easy to manipulate.
Tell me what he has that we like besides money. Muscles.
Ooh, I smell drama. You should all stay home.