Matthew Hussey shares three ways introverts can stand out in group settings: give a well-timed compliment, issue a playful challenge, and ask spontaneous questions using someone's name. The techniques rely on the peak-end rule, which makes people remember the strongest moment and how things ended.
If you consider yourself to be an introvert, I'm about to give you three words that are going to change the way you think about attraction forever. Peak End Rule. The psychological heuristic in which people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at its peak and at its end, rather than based on the total sum or average. To understand this role, you need only think of a Broadway show, a movie or a concert, and how there are moments in these shows that can actually be quite boring. There are moments in a concert where there are five songs in a row that you don't care about. But if the concert, if the movie, if that Broadway show ends with a bang or has a really emotional peak moment somewhere within it, that tends to be the part that we remember. It colors our entire of the thing. If you are an introvert, the psychology of this is gold to you. Why? You might be the kind of person that 90% of the time in a group gathering isn't doing the talking. You're much more of a listener, an observer. You are the quiet one. But that doesn't mean that you need to be the least memorable one. Using the peak-end rule, you can insert yourself at just the right moment and say just the right thing that actually gives you more impact than everybody else. And there are three practical ways that you can do this. First, compliments. So let's say you're in a group dynamic, the guy you like has been talking a lot, you haven't been talking at all, you wait till it dies down until you have maybe a moment on your own with him, and then you can say, I like the way you tell stories. Like you have this passion in you when you tell a story. It's cool. In that moment, you're A reminding him that you were there even though you were quiet, you were listening, you were paying attention. And secondly, that just because you're quiet, it doesn't mean you're not confident and it doesn't mean you can't be direct. You can also make use of the peak end rule by issuing a challenge to someone. Let's say you're in a group of friends, you're in an environment where there's something mildly competitive going on. Maybe you're playing darts, paul, bowling, table tennis, whatever, it doesn't matter. But your crush is in the group. And normally your conversation with this person is kind of pedestrian, a bit vanilla, a bit monotonous. You could charge it by saying to him, I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do to you. And he'd be like, what? You'd be like, I'm gonna crush you at table tennis. And I just, I feel bad. It doesn't matter if everyone else in the group won't stop talking. the fact that you've charged the interaction with a challenge, that's going to be more memorable. And the third technique for applying the peak end rule is the spontaneous test. So let's say you're in this group of people and the subject of desserts or sweets comes up. You could say to a person that you haven't spoken to all evening, so what about you, Matthew? Are you more of a milk chocolate man or a dark chocolate man? Now, if they say milk chocolate, you can say, Wow, I got a lot of respect for that. If they say dark chocolate and that's not really your thing, you could say, okay, well, we need to work on that. If they say they don't like chocolate, you can say, who hurt you? Okay, you know what? Doesn't matter. We can talk about this later. You can literally say this about anything. In fact, the more goofy the example, the better. It's the playfulness in this that creates the spike. And by the way, when you've been quiet but all of a sudden you use someone's name, you address them specifically. So what about you, Matthew? It's like it gives someone a tingle. It's like, oh, they, you know, they've been paying attention to me, right? Without me even knowing it. Suddenly you're on someone's radar in a different way. Never, ever, ever use being quiet or being introverted or even being shy as an excuse not to go out there and flirt and create attraction. Because you can do all of these things in a way that fits with your nature and your personality. Now, if you like this video because it gave you very practical things you can do to flirt, I have something even better for you right now. I've taken a chapter from my renowned program, How to Talk to Men, that is all about flirting. and I am gifting it to you today. Literally exact things that you can say and do today with the person you're attracted to to create more attraction and more chemistry. To get that chapter, all you need to do is go to GetTheFreeChapter.com, download it and you can be reading it in the next five minutes. Go to GetTheFreeChapter.com and I will see you there. Alright, we get it. We got it. What's wrong? Like the whole video is about the peak and ended it kind of flat. Okay, so any ideas? Yes.
