In this YouTube advice segment, relationship coach Matthew Hussey answers a viewer’s question about how to get men to show interest and ask her out. He explains that while smiling and eye contact are important, they alone don’t guarantee a man will approach. Hussey shares a personal anecdote from a hotel lobby where he and his friends made eye contact with a group of women but didn’t act on the moment. The interaction only sparked when one woman from the other group turned back and asked, “Where are you guys going?” This simple, direct line prompted both groups to engage, leading to a fun evening together. Hussey uses the story to illustrate his core principle: a tiny extra effort—what he calls a “1 millimeter” shift—can dramatically change one’s love life. He recommends adding the line “Where are you going?” in social settings as a low‑stakes way to create conversation and signal interest, emphasizing that small, intentional actions are more effective than massive changes in identity or behavior.
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Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. We have a question today from Ashley. I am 26, have a good job, and I always hold my head up smiling to attract everyone, letting them know that I'm a personable individual. But how do you get the man to actually ask you out, show interest in you and make an effort? Good question, Ashley. But here's the thing. Just because you're smiling at men, it doesn't mean they're going to rush over to talk to you. I know that I talk a lot about, in my book, I talk a lot about smiling and eye contact and how important those things are, but that doesn't mean that those things alone are going to guarantee guys come over. In fact, there are many guys that are still standing around wondering if they should come over to you. I'm going to answer this with a story to illuminate. I was in a hotel recently and I was with a few friends of mine. We were walking through the lobby of the hotel and as we were walking through, there were a group of women walking in the opposite direction. Now, as they walk past, we, each of us made eye contact. I remember making eye contact with the woman leading the pack. And we looked at each other for a prolonged period of time before passing each other. Now, I can honestly say that we as a group wanted to talk to them. We wanted to see what they were up to and what's going on. But we kept walking. Does that mean we weren't interested? No. Does it mean we weren't attracted? No. It just means that we didn't take the opportunity in that moment. Now, I wonder, Ashley, how many guys have done the exact same thing with you? But the story doesn't end there. Here's what happened. One of them, towards the back turned around as we were walking away and said, and she had to shout it a little bit because we were already getting out of sight. She said, where are you guys going? Where are you guys going? And all of a sudden we did an about turn, look back at them and started walking towards them. We walked over and the two of our groups started talking. We talked for about 20 minutes and then joined up and decided to go and have fun that evening to go out and just socialize. And we had this really wonderful, fun evening because we were out there thinking, oh, it'd be great to just meet some people and have a good time. They were, I'm sure, thinking the same thing. And we did. But the only reason it happened was because one of them at the last moment turned around and said, where are you guys going, by the way? Not a bad line, actually. So worth adding to your little repertoire of things to say in social situations. Where are you guys going? If you see someone leaving a venue and. And you don't want to lose the opportunity to speak to them, just say, where are you going? It's kind of cute as well, because it assumes that you have. It assumes that you have a right to know, even though you're. You've never spoken to this person before. I think it's really lovely and adorable. Where are you going? That's what they said to us. It resulted in an interaction that otherwise would never have happened. Was my point that if you put in an extra millimeter of effort, you can change your whole love life. It doesn't involve you doing a thousand things on top of what you're doing right now. It doesn't involve some giant shift in your identity. Just going 1 millimeter further than you normally go can mean the difference between more guys than you know what to do with and thinking that no one is attracted to you. That's it. I'll speak to you soon. Come join me on Facebook. Facebook.com Matthew Hussey I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'll see you, Sam.
