How Being A Badass Wingwoman Gets You A Relationship (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

This video is about Wing Women. More specifically how you can be an amazing wing woman and how that is going to change your own dating life, not just the dating life of your friends. First let's talk about the worst habits of the shitty wing woman. The deep freeze. When a guy comes up to her friend, even if he's a perfectly nice guy and just thought her friend was attractive, she stands there and gives him this awful cold face like this. She gives him this frosty look, like he's already done something wrong. The look is like, what's your agenda? What do you want? Why are you talking to me and my friend? When me and my friend are having our own night here. Her friend might actually want to talk to this guy. Her friend might be lonely. Her friend might be trying to fix her love life. And yet she is disrupting it from the moment a guy comes over. Second Bad Wing Woman move, the Houdini. This is when a guy is talking to her friend and they're having a good time and instead of trying to be part of it or get involved or maybe even talk to his friends so that it takes some pressure off of him and her, she just fades away. Then when 15 minutes later her friend goes over to her and says, Where did you go? We were talking to some some people. Why did you just disappear? And she's like, well, you look like you're having a good time without me. So I was just gonna walk around. I was just gonna get a drink. Basically, it's passive aggressive because she didn't really need to go and do that at that moment. She just left her friend because she wasn't feeling involved. Yes, it's her friend's job to kind of make her feel involved, but at the same time, it's this person's duty to be a good friend and make it easy for them to have an interaction. And of course, when her wing woman leaves, she's stuck there with the guy and possibly his friends on her own. So when the guy says, oh, where did your friends go? She's like, I don't know. I guess you're stuck with me now. So now instead of having a relaxed conversation with her, he feels like he's babysitting her because her friends have ditched her. The third awful wing woman move is the overzealous cheerleader. This is the friend who thinks she's helping by saying something like, My friend is amazing. She is like the smartest person in the world. Doesn't she look beautiful tonight? You are so gorgeous. Like she's gorgeous, isn't she? She just graduated from law school. This isn't helping her friend. All it's doing is overplaying her hand for her. She was getting to play it cool and be like, huh, maybe I like him, maybe I don't. I'm not gonna let on too much right now. I'm just gonna be chill. When she comes in as her wing woman and starts ranting about how good her friend is to the guy, all of a sudden it makes it seem like she really wants to be with the guy and she needs someone to vouch for her. Don't rid your friend of the ability to play it cool for herself. Number four, the bodyguard. This is the overprotective friend who shows her protection for her friend in overly aggressive ways. So she'll say to the guy, you better be nice to my friend. You better be good to her. Or you'll be talking to me. And all of a sudden, he's like, what did I- I didn't know I was going into war. I just came over to talk to someone I thought was pretty and interesting. Why am I having this threatening exchange right now? The guy might be a perfectly nice guy. If he turns out to be a dick, you can deal with that at that moment. But until then, maybe give him a little bit of the benefit of the doubt and don't go steaming in, making your friend feel like she's got to defuse the Terminator in the process. And perhaps the worst wing woman move of all. Number five, the guilt trip. This is when she comes over to her friend after being over there tapping her foot aggressively and looking at her watch and says, We're leaving. Are you coming? It's a bit of an emotional blackmail ultimatum that her friend cannot win. Because she's standing there going, well, firstly you've just embarrassed me in front of this guy. 'Cause you've come over kind of angry and aggressive and told me you're leaving. You've given me no choice but to talk about whatever I'm feeling right now publicly in front of this person. A much more thoughtful, generous thing to do is to take your friend to one side. You could say to the guy, Can I borrow her for a minute? Thank you. You take your friend to one side and you say, okay, listen, I'm getting really tired. I want to be here for you 'cause it looks like you're having a great time. Do you want me to carry on for another 20 minutes and buy you a bit more time? She may even tell you she doesn't even like the guy that much and she wants to go with you. but give her the chance to talk about that in private instead of making her talk about it in public because you brought it up in front of the guy. So look, here's the bottom line. How does being a good wing woman actually benefit you in your love life? It should be enough, obviously, that it makes us a better friend, that it makes us a kinder person, that it makes us someone who makes social interaction easier for our friends, especially if hey, they're looking for love and they just might have found a potential in someone who's talking to them. But in terms of what's in it for us in being a good wing man or a good wing woman, here's what it is. Good energy always wins at the end of the day. Because your friend starts talking to a guy and you're like, oh cool, she's talking to someone, you're nice to the guy, he's more likely to introduce you to someone else in his group or Just that good energy you're feeling now anyway allows you to feel like you can go and talk to someone else at the same time. We have to play the long game when it comes to energy. Someone can be immediately attracted to somebody and I understand if you go out with a certain friend that always gets tons of attention, that can be a little frustrating. It can even hurt because you don't feel like the attractive one in the group. You feel like it's always my friend that gets it and that annoys me because at the end of the day, I wanna feel attractive too. that's fine, but the reality is the people that men want to marry, the people they want to really be with, not just be infatuated with for a night, but the people they really want to be with are the people with the best energy. And this isn't me trying to sugarcoat this issue by saying looks don't matter that much. What really matters is what's inside. I'm talking about this from a very practical place, not just for me as a man, but for every man I know. When it really comes down to it, you can have this person here who's ridiculously hot could be in a magazine, is that person on Instagram who has 20,000 followers just because she's pretty. And you can be this person who brings amazing energy into a room that brings life to other people's lives. That is just an incredible person to be around. And ultimately the person you want to be with, the person you want to marry is this person over here. So if you want to win love, play the long game, have great energy. It will not only make you a better friend, a better wing woman, it will also make you 10 times more attractive to everybody else that is witnessing your behavior in that room. at that time. I will see you next week.