Matthew Hussey argues that small, consistent standards transform relationships more than grand gestures. When you like someone, you rationalize compromises and con yourself. Heavy texting turns partners into pen pals; voice calls create real connection instead.
I don't care whether you're in a relationship or not. I care that you're happy. My goal is not to get you in a relationship. My goal is to help you be the happiest human being you can possibly be for the short little time on the arm.
See the vlog sites Whoopi Woop. Got a new wife Shorty got a new boo. Yeah love beautiful but love love love, love, love Gotta be the right one. Seem single baby I wish.
Then in 1814, the British burned the US Capitol and destroyed the Congressional library. Jefferson generously offered his entire collection.
The funny thing about the Internet is it's, it's given us more access, but it's made life a lot more complicated in many ways. We have so many different sources of information and we read, I think more superficially. You know, the difference with a book is you pick up a book and you actually very often you read cover to cover. So you go deep on an issue. You guys have to educate me about why Washington D.C. is the worst place to live any day, about why men suck here, and about why it's just harder here than anywhere else. What will be the things that people will say? That's what I'm interested in.
A lot of people here are like out of town. Like they live out of town or they come here just for work. And it's hard to like have long term dating with them because it's like they're here temporarily.
What's the stereotypical guy in D.C. like? What's he like?
Very career oriented. Like even going in like his social settings. He's just trying to like find someone who can help him get up on the social ladder. I don't want to like hang out with someone who's trying to be Mr. President. Like I want to hang out with like the guy. Like I want to connect with him. I don't want, I don't care about your career.
They all want to date, but they want to get very serious because, well, I'm actually on my career path. I really want to, you know, get excellent at that before I gonna start got serious into dating.
If a guy is saying right off the bat that he's looking for something casual, should you run for the hills?
What if you want something casual?
Yes. If you want more? Yes. You should absolutely believe him. Take him at his word.
Believe everything he says.
When he says he's not sure about that. Like when he's not in a relationship, when he says he's casual, just take him at his work.
The thing is A lot of women say that, but they actually want a relationship. Like, a lot of people, like, oh, I'm cool with the hookup culture, but I have a lot of friends who are like, oh, I hate this. I hate feeling like they're used. Or like they want something serious and substantial, but they can't find that. So everyone's like, oh, I'm cool with it. I'm cool with it, because I don't turn it around.
And they say, oh, I'm as cool as this guy. I can do the same thing. We're equal, you know, I also am I.
But you think underneath it, or they don't really want it. They've sort of convinced themselves, themselves that.
They'Re equal with guys and they just want to be as cool as them.
I think that they, for me, I think that they become accommodating, thinking, if I'm accommodating, then this person's going to give me what I want. And that they're scared to actually say what they want.
The most dangerous time of day is when you decide you actually really like.
Someone.
Because that's the moment you begin compromising. That's the moment you begin renegotiating your standards. And you'll fucking convince yourself that you're doing the right thing. You'll justify it with yourself. We are master con artists with ourselves.
I've been dating someone for the past month. Last week was very text heavy and I thought I was just going to lose my mind because the texting just makes the whole connection kind of dissipate and dampens things. And I sat there and I think I was hesitant to, like, speak up out of fear that I might upset him or blah, blah, whatever. But then I was just like, fuck it, I don't even care anymore. So I just sent him a text and I was just like, I'm starting to feel like you're my pen pal. And I put my, like a little, like a few emojis to make it cute.
Pen pals. Like, what could be less sexy as a guy than hearing that you're now someone with a pen pal? Now I have a negative association with texting. But then when we actually speak for 20 minutes on the phone, I get off. She says, how is it? Just hearing your voice gets me flustered. I'm like, I'll call every folk. You guys.
He's a good guy. He responded back and said, we need to change that right away. So that was very helpful.
That's transformational for a relationship. All of the little ways that you can frame your relationship in the way that you want. What ruins people's lives is when they keep ignoring little opportunities to do that. Relationships, generally speaking, are ruined by huge actions. Most of the time. Relationships are ruined by ignoring the moments where you could make it better.
I could give you techniques. I guarantee maybe you'll still go home tonight. You'll be like, yeah, standards. And then the guy you like sends you message after three weeks of not contacting you, and you'll go, what's he thinking? What's going on? If you're serious about this, I need you guys to commit to actually really doing something for yourselves when you leave this. So this isn't just fun. This isn't just motivation. This isn't just some techniques. There has to be something that actually changes things to do.
See the vlog sites.
Whoopty whoop.
Got a new wife, shorty got a new boo yeah, Love beauty for love Love, love, love I'm happy being single I wish that I could find you.
