Matthew Hussey explains why real confidence comes from inside, not from what you own or achieve. He uses Iron Man as an example and talks about his High Value Retreat program for building that core strength.
Hello, I am back from a two-month tour running around the country doing Get the Guy events in 10 cities. It was amazing, it was exhausting, it was fun. I met some amazing people. I signed probably about 2,000 books. What happens when you're signing books is the first couple you're like, oh, this is my book. And then by the end of them you just hate your own book and you never want to see your stupid face wearing a little bow tie and a suit again, ever. But people were lovely on the tour. They got lots of things for me. People wrote me, I got notes. Here's a card someone put on the front. Well, they bought a card that says a good man is hard to find. Yes, he is. Unless you come to get the guys seminar. I got one of these things. I haven't used it yet, but I think that's Dallas. Someone wrote me a list of all the things to do in the location they were in. Someone got me a giant card. which I had to fold up in order to fit in my bag. So don't hate me. I have kept it. It's just a little crazy. I got a picture of myself. This is me as Cupid. I saw some movies since I've been back. For those of you that were watching my last video, you know I did a video on Gatsby and the five things we can learn from Gatsby. You can check that out in the last video. And I also saw Iron Man. I saw Iron Man 3. I don't know if you've seen it yet, but it's pretty good. One of the things in Iron Man 3 that struck me at the end of the film was something that kind of epitomizes something I've been coaching for a very long time, which is the idea that if you are confident at your core, nothing else matters. There's this great line by Tony Stark at the end of Iron Man, when he's been through his big emotional journey, and I won't ruin anything, but he says, You can, he said, My suit wasn't a hobby, it wasn't a distraction, it was a cocoon. You could take away my tricks, you could take away my toys, you could take away my house, but there's one thing you can't take away. I am Iron Man. What made him Iron Man wasn't all of those things, it was just him. He was Iron Man, he was the person. And for so many of us in our lives, we rely on all of these external trappings for us to feel confident, for some of us it's our car or our house, for others it's our job title and that business card and what it says we are. For other people it's their relationship. The fact is we are the greatest asset in our lives. We're the thing that we should feel confident about. Most people in life that seem confident really are just basing their confidence on a bunch of things that if you took them away they wouldn't be confident anymore. So in life never take at face value how confident people really are. Think about it like how many people really can you take everything away from and they can still that real confident person. They can still think, you know what? I'm my greatest asset. You know, I told you the story of when I, when a few weeks ago they told me my show got cancelled and I was about to go on stage in Philadelphia and I had to rock it for five hours knowing that this huge thing that I'd been working on for a year had just gone away. And I kind of had the same thought. Like at the end of the day, I am Iron Man. You could take away the show, you could take away all that stuff, but as long as I got my voice, as long as I can do my thing, I'm the asset. And I know that for you in your life, it doesn't matter what gets taken away from you. The thing that gives you real confidence is who you are at your core and what you bring to the table in every situation by who you are, not what you have, not what you've achieved, and not who you know. Don't base your confidence on how many things am I achieving and how does that make me feel? I want you to base your confidence on what things can I lose? What opportunities can go wrong? What risks can I take that won't pay off? And when I lose that stuff, I'm still gonna feel amazing. How can you do that? How can you work on that skill? That's the thing I'm interested in. Because listen, I know if you can lose it all and still be invincible, then you can do anything in life. This has been one of the big passionate subjects of my entire career. I think it's more important than pretty much anything else that I teach, which is why I built an entire program around this one concept of core confidence, how to be invincible no matter where you are in your life so that you can always go and take the risks you need to take and go down the path you need to go down. I built a five-day program around this. It's called the high value retreat. I have two more this year. That's it. One in October in Florida on Clearwater Beach and one in Palm Springs in December. You have to apply for it, but if you want to go through the process, check it out, find out a little more about it. Inquire. Who knows? Maybe we'll be spending five days together this year. Oh, and the other thing I learned from Iron Man. I am Matt Hursey. I'm really confident without a show.
