Matthew Hussey explains the difference between what men want immediately and what they actually need for lasting respect. He focuses on two specific words that shift how a woman is perceived in a relationship.
There are two words that I want to bring you today that are going to change the way you look at dating forever. And I think the concept I'm about to give you is so important, you're going to be teaching it to your kids, your friends, when they go out there dating in the future. TV and Candy Think of a Child what does a child want? When you ask a child what he or she wants, TV and candy now the astute parent knows the difference between what a child wants and what they need. What's good for a child long term is very different than what a child wants in the short term for his or her pleasure. Similarly, when it comes to dating, the astute woman knows the difference between what a man wants and what he needs. What he wants for immediate pleasure, gratification, validation, and what he needs for a genuine connection, fulfillment, happiness, and to see a future with you. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not calling men children here. The truth is, men and women all have their forms of instant gratification that they crave. I believe that guys actually truly crave happiness. On a deeper level, I believe guys are far more romantic than they ever let on, even though they may live in this world of instant gratification, of Tinder and texting for quick hit subscribers, of validation and that amazing feeling that I'm wanted. I think that guys are craving romance. I think they want a woman to come along and have a higher standard to allow attraction to play out properly, to allow desire to be in the imagination before it just happens. Outwardly, I think that men truly want that. They don't talk about it in the locker room with their guy friends, but they think about it at night. They want that romance. Remember that although he may be asking for what he wants, it doesn't mean that he's telling you what he needs. And by the way, this video is not about sex. People are going to watch this and think this is about how quickly I should have sex with him. No, I don't care when you have sex with a guy, this is about you people pleasing and losing that part of you that feels the need to People, please. When a man talks about how he wants to see you tonight at last minute, even though he's made no plans with you or how he wants you to come fly to see him in his city this weekend even though you've only known each other for three weeks, he wants TV and candy. He wants that immediate hit of pleasure. What we have to do is have a standard for ourselves where if that's what we've decided for us. We don't bend on that just because somebody else says it's a great idea today. Because attraction over the long term has more to do with respect than like. Like is I like you because you gave me something I wanted this week. But like is fickle. Like is transient. Respect transcends all of that. Respect is I don't just like you. I want to be like you. I respect who you are and the decisions you make and the values and the standards you have. And respect is what builds long term attraction. When we think about the person we want to settle down with and we think about the person we want to marry, have kids with, it's not someone we just like. It's someone we respect and we grow to like more the people we respect. TV and Candy is a concept I'm going to be talking about for a long time. This is an introduction to it. But right now, here's what I want you to think about. With the guy that I'm seeing, with the guy that's in my mind, with the men I date, am I being the wise woman who's giving the man what he needs, even if he doesn't necessarily realize it? Or am I? TV and candy think on that.
