Matthew Hussey shares five techniques to get noticed at parties, covering positioning, mindset, and how to start conversations. The advice focuses on practical social strategies you can use the next time you're at an event.
The very charming and eloquent Stephen Fry once said, There's nothing I hate more than a party. I've felt this way many times in my life where I walk into a party and I didn't really feel comfortable. I felt very much on the outside looking in on what was going on. I didn't feel integrated. I didn't feel part of the conversations. And I just didn't feel like I was having as much fun as perhaps I should. So I wanted to do a video for all of you out there who have had the same experience. and wanna know specifically how to get that person you want to notice you at the party. And I have five ways that are not only gonna get someone to notice you, but also are gonna make a party more fun and make you feel more engaged with the energy and the atmosphere that's going on around you. Because of course, it should be fun. Number one, put yourself in a high traffic area at the party. That means not doing what a lot of people do, where they go and find a corner of a room to sit down and they remove themselves systematically from what's going on. You need to position yourself in a place where people are walking past you to go to get a drink or to use the restroom. You're in a high traffic zone, which means you have proximity to everybody and it's much easier for them to turn their head and say something than if you were on the other side of the room and they had to walk over to you. Number two, position yourself for eye contact. Now you may be in a high traffic zone where lots of people are walking by, but it's still useless if you have your back to the action. You don't want to be the person, for example, who's talking to somebody here and the wall is behind them so you have your back to the room. You want to be faced out to everybody else so that if you have a moment where you can break eye contact with the person you're with and look out to the room, maybe they're talking to somebody else and you can kind of stand there and people watch and make eye contact, you want to be able to do that. It not only gives you a chance to kind of spy people you're attracted to, but it gives people you're attracted to a chance to see you and have a moment of connection before conversation. Number three, adopt a host mindset. The most successful people at parties are the ones who almost act like it's their party. And I don't mean in an obnoxious way. I mean they introduce themselves like they really have a reason to. If you watch the host of a venue or a party, they walk around with this excuse to talk to people. They say, hey, how are you? Having a good night? They talk to people in that manner. It's the same way with owners of restaurants. They walk around to people at tables who don't even know they're the owner, but they say, you know, you having, you enjoying your meal, you're having a good time. I know. I'm always looking for that person who will look at me and say, Hey, how are you? They may not be the host, but when they behave like the host, I suddenly feel really greeted in this place. I suddenly feel welcomed. We need to be the person that does that for other people. You need no excuse to talk to other people. If you just have a warm, friendly, welcoming energy like the host, people will want to be around you, 'cause guess what? They're at the party wishing they knew more people too. Number four, if you want to avoid small talk, talk about things you actually care about. See, the opposite of small talk isn't big talk. The opposite of small talk is passionate talk. It's talk about things we actually care about and are invested in. Now, those don't have to be big, deep and meaningful subjects. They could be silly, superficial things, but silly, superficial things that actually entertain us, things we're invested in. You could start talking to someone where they say, hey, how are you? And they shake your hand and you say, I'm great. I'm loving the fact that Nelly Ride With Me is playing in the background right now. I haven't heard that song in 10 years and it's still as catchy as it was then. Then they get to start talking about a song that does it to them or whether they like that song or not. They get to laugh about it. It gets you in at 40 mile an hour instead of 10 mile an hour where you say, I'm good, thanks. How are you? Number five, don't be a caterpillar, be a butterfly. I think this is particularly profound as an idea because the caterpillar moves very slowly around the room. The butterfly does its little dance fluttering around the room. Touching here, touching there, showing its beauty everywhere it goes. And there's something hard to hold onto about the butterfly. You sort of want it to stay, but you never know when it's gonna leave and go to a different spot. I think we should be having interactions frequent and often, and we shouldn't get stuck with one person. Now, that doesn't mean we can't have a meaningful conversation with somebody. Sometimes we do have a conversation for 30 minutes with somebody because we really like their company and we're having a great time with them. What I don't want is for us to get stuck with someone just because it's comfortable. If you are stuck with someone, Be with them because it's great and they're enjoyable and you're having a great time with them, but not because it's now your default, because it's harder to go and meet somebody else and take a risk to go through that comfort zone again. What this comes down to is three things that really make a difference to the amount of opportunity we create in our love lives. The first is lifestyle. And lifestyle is the thing that means you're at the party in the first place because you have that kind of life. The second part is the ability to be approachable. you're the type of person that people look at and think, huh, I'd like to go over to that person, or it would be easy to go over to that person because they've made it easy for me. And the third part is taking risks, being the kind of person that values opportunity more than they fear rejection. I have a program called Attract Any Man that does exactly these three things. It shows you how to create a rich lifestyle that brings in new men. It shows you how to become approachable so that wherever you are from the coffee shop to the bar, you're the type of person that men want to approach. And it shows you how to start taking risks and be brave enough to do that because that's not just a competence thing, it's a mindset thing. It shows you how to get over that fear of rejection and actually start doing things. So check it out, it's called Attract Any Man. We'll link it up here. I can't wait to see what you think of it. And as always, I will see you in next week's video. Thank you so much guys.
