Matthew Hussey explains why listing traits like "sweet" and "silly" fails in dating profiles. Instead, show who you are through specific stories: crying at Disney movies, singing with your sister. Men connect with evidence of your personality, not claims about it.
In a world of swipes and profile pictures, how do you get a guy interested in you for more than just your looks? In other words, how do you stand out in your description too? Well, here's an example of what most people write in their description. Let's say there's a guy swiping along and well he finds a lovely lady and he thinks to himself, you, know what? Instead of rushing through this one, I'll actually dive in and read her description. And it reads, I'm a sweet, silly, passionate person who loves an adventurous hike just as much as a relaxing Netflix movie. Now at first glance, maybe that seems like a great little profile. He's thinking, well, she seems like a nice, normal, well-rounded human being. Somebody who's good in all types of different environments. Although, there is a subtle mistake here that many people are guilty of. The shopping list of traits. She's telling him, I'm sweet, I'm passionate, I'm silly, I'm bloody wonderful. All of which you should believe because I wrote it down. The problem with this description of herself is that she's telling him who she is instead of showing him. There's a rule in writing that also applies in dating, even in online dating. Show, don't tell. People don't like to be told things. It makes them feel like they're being asked to believe something that may have no credibility. They do, however, want to discover things. How can she show, for example, that she's sweet and silly in a way that makes him feel like he's discovering insights about her? How can she show instead of telling she's these qualities? Well, she could write. I'm the type of person that cries during Disney movies and then sings all the songs with my sister for the next nine hours. See? I am sweet and silly. You see how much better that is? That's what we have to get into the habit of doing. Telling stories about ourselves or using examples that show we have certain qualities. When someone says to you, I'm a really funny person, do you believe them or do you wait for the funny thing that they're gonna say that actually shows they're a funny person? When someone's on a date, I hate when someone's like, I'm just, I'm like a really generous kind of person. Don't tell me that. Do something generous. Be sweet to the waiter. Do something nice for somebody. Be generous. Don't say you're generous. Be generous. Bottom line, anyone can create a shopping list of qualities that they think they are. Be the person that brings that shopping list to life through the stories you tell and the description you give about you. Ladies, I will see you next week. How do you get a guy interested in you for more than just your looks? In other words, how do you stand out in a sea of.
