Matthew Hussey answers questions about getting over someone you never dated. One woman stayed in a year-long relationship despite red flags because she feared being alone. Matthew suggests practical steps like scheduling a breakup before a coaching session, and addresses age-gap concerns about meeting men closer to your age.
I am in my 40s, and most of the guys I meet are in their 30s.
How.
Where do I meet more age appropriate men?
Good questions.
Any tips for changing limiting beliefs, not just about men, but beliefs as well?
So what's the main difference between this event and other ones you've done?
This event is an experiment.
I'm gonna make this an open conversation. Some of you may know I have a program called fast track to Mr. Right, where every month I get on a live webinar with people and I answer questions from all over the world. And I thought, wouldn't it be fun to do that live, to actually have a live session where people ask me questions? I was your hostage for a couple of hours, and you can talk to me about things that are exciting to you or things that are troubling you or things that are challenging you in this area of your life.
My question is, how do you get over somebody that you're not actually dating?
Yeah, my brother, actually, who here reads my brother Steven's articles, A few of you. He wrote an article which was really a wonderful title, how to get over someone you never dated. It goes back to what it is you want to romanticize. Whether you want to romanticize someone from afar or whether you want to fall in love with the reality of life. And I just. The days of me being able to get excited about someone who's not excited about me are over. I can't. I can't find the energy to get excited about someone who doesn't want me. If someone doesn't want me, it kind of. It kills it for me. It kills it. It's like, I know this person will make me so unhappy.
So when we meet a guy and we are in the beginning, and the guy wants to show all the beautiful sides of his personality, values in life. And he's perfect and he's amazing. Nothing bad about it. So you fell in love. Stupid me. And then three months, four months after, the guy goes to the black side and everything falls, and then he's completely different, and then he's treating you bad. And then it just gets worse and worse and worse. But you are there and you are already in love. Two questions. First, how to recognize the traps. Like, who are you? How to recognize the guy who is really his personality and everything. Second, how to get rid of him when you are running.
Love.
I'm probably gonna say to you at the end of this little rant of mine, you should probably leave the guy.
No, we broke up this morning.
Oh, okay. Very good. But by the way everything I'm saying to you now. How long were you together?
One year and three months.
One year, Three months?
Yeah.
How quickly. Be honest. How quickly did you know it was wrong?
Honestly? Really?
Seriously.
Seriously. Since the beginning.
Okay. Very good. Thank you for the honesty. So let's look at you. You stayed in it for a year and three months. Why?
Because I don't, I didn't want to be alone.
Good. Thank you for wonderful honesty. So I didn't want to. Yeah, I didn't want to be alone. By the way, what a great morning to break up with someone. This happened this morning. You said, I, I'm gonna do it now. Because two hours from now, I'm like, the shit. So I can do this now, knowing that I'm gonna come out great today.
Exactly.
We should do that. We should start like, let's email two days or the night before the event when we do an event like this and say this, if you have been thinking about this, if you know it's the right thing, break up with them this morning because I'm gonna put you back together when you come to the event. We should do that. That's interesting.
This is the work that I want to do. Using our abilities now, our depth of experience to actually help people. It feels like it's where we are right now. It feels like it's mature.
What do you think has changed the most about your content over the last five years?
Look, it's not, it's not that. Like, everything I've ever done, I've always, I still agree with, I still use it. Like, it would be hypocritical for me to say I don't like it because I still use it all the time. But I, I, I'm trying to put my finger on why this feels right. And I think in my mind, it feels right because I really, this concept feels like we're. I can picture all of the people out there who will be helped in the moment by this concept.
