In this YouTube session, Matthew Hussey and his AI co‑host coach Winda, a high‑achieving legal professional from Manila, through a live event. Winda shares her history of abusive relationships, cheating, and depression, explaining how these experiences have left her guarded and fearful of new love. Hussey challenges her to shift the underlying goal from "avoid getting hurt"—which he calls a boring, avoidance‑based aim—to a proactive identity‑focused goal: becoming the powerful, brave woman she wants to be, both for herself and for the people she loves (her twin sister, brothers, future children). He uses vivid analogies (boxing, stage performance) to illustrate the necessity of stepping into the arena despite pain. The conversation expands to the broader principle that loving others means modeling courage, not merely giving, and that personal fear can negatively affect loved ones. The AI segment highlights the role of internal programming and self‑worth in blocking relationship success, urging viewers to address deep‑seated beliefs. The session concludes with a promotion for Hussey’s six‑day immersion retreat designed to rewire self‑beliefs and empower participants to pursue love without fear.
Chapters
If you've ever been hurt or betrayed, someone's broken your trust, someone broke your heart, and that hurt, that pain is stopping you now from going out there and finding something new. Because instead of seeing the excitement and the opportunity, all you see is the potential for more pain. This video is for you. In it, I coach a woman called Winda, who in my Manila event in the Philippines stood up and talked about the pain that she's experienced and how that is now stopping her from moving forward in her love life. and watch the clip all the way to the end because I'm gonna be joining you back here on this sofa afterwards.
Well, first of all, I wanna thank you because I follow you from, I don't know, maybe 2010 or something. And then, you know what? Your impact program actually helped me to get to the top of my career right now. So yeah, from being depressed and then, yeah.
Wow.
And right now, I'm the top of my career, but in love life.
Actually.
It'S quite crumbling down.
Wait, what does that mean, your love life's crumbling down?
I mean, yeah, so the last two of my previous relationship were abusive, and I've been cheated on. So I decided, I don't know what to do to this point that You know what? I think I'm gonna stop finding you guys for like a year or two and focus on my career. But then when I got back to try to find the guys, it's hard for me to open up. To be vulnerable to the other people.
Why?
Because I don't know. I think I left my guard up or something like that.
I don't want to be- Because you've been burned already.
Yeah.
Because you got hurt already.
Yes. Yeah.
But you're putting your guard up so you don't get hurt again.
Yeah, kind of like that.
So we have to change the goal.
Okay.
Because your goal right now is don't get hurt.
Yeah.
It's a kind of a boring goal.
Thank you.
Yeah.
No, but I'm saying this because you're clearly not a boring person. So it doesn't suit you to have a boring goal.
Thank you.
It's not, this isn't your goal. You've taken this goal from some version of you that's scared, that's not the version that I see, that's interesting and complex and wants to go out there and live and do things. The woman who bought my impact program and then use that to rise up in her career. You said you were depressed.
Yeah, I was depressed in 2014.
Right.
After I graduated from my Master of Law degree.
Right.
Because I don't know what to do. And then I bought your impact program. And then right now I'm a head legal counsel.
Yep.
And I'm at the top of my game, actually.
Right. So this woman isn't the same woman as the one who has a goal that is I don't want to get hurt. That's a boring goal and all it is is avoiding something instead of going after something. The goal, I want you to change the goal. The goal now is who do I want to be? Forget what I want to get. Look, in my business, if I stepped up on stage here right now and I thought about what I want to get from this situation, I wouldn't last up here. You guys would see it. You'd be able to read my intentions even if subconsciously. And you would see it's about me, it's not about an impact I want to make.
Right?
I'm coming up here because I want to get something from you. No. I come up here because there's a person that I want to be in this life and I want to be a giver. I want to be someone who says truth. I want to be someone who isn't afraid to go and say things even if they're unpopular. I want to be someone who can genuinely say, I made a difference today. I did something today. Right? Even if I'm scared, even if I'm a little nervous, I'm in front of a new crowd today, new country, new audience. I don't know if any of my jokes are gonna land. I don't know if you're gonna like anything I have to say. So I'm a little... I was a little nervous today. Oh shit, new crowd. Uh-oh. Right? Different crowd. I don't know what it's gonna be like. We'll see, I guess. But I can't be the person who doesn't get up on stage. That's not an option, right? I could be the person you don't find funny. I could be the person that you didn't find interesting. I went to see that Matt Hussie guy. I thought he was going to be great. He was okay. I could be that. I can live with that. I can't live with not getting on stage. Can't do that. That one's not an option. And I want you to change the goal. I'm not trying to avoid pain. there's a person in this life I want to be. Windy has to be someone who actually, A, goes after what she wants, B, loves because she's a loving person, not because she's trying to get something or.
Because she's, oh, I'll only love if.
I can't get hurt. That's bullshit, right? Tell a boxer, you can get in the ring, but, you know, I'll fight this fight, but as long as I don't get hurt. Doesn't work like that. You're a boxer. You're a boxer, you get in the ring and you do it. And that's what you do because that's the kind of person you are. You don't avoid, you get in the ring and you do it. Who in your life do you love, by the way? You've got any women in your life that you really love? My sister.
Your sister?
Are you older or younger, sis? Twins. Twins? So, okay, what's your name, sis? WiNa. WiNa? Yeah. So, WiNa and WiNda.
Yeah, all right.
All right, this is amazing. So, Winda, you love your sister?
So much.
How much?
So much.
How much?
Like oceans.
Right. So, loving someone means more than giving to them. Correct. It means showing them. Correct. Show them what great living looks like. Show them what living, what going out there and blowing it up and making amazing things happen actually looks like. because she'll get strength from you. And if your twin sees you hiding because you're afraid of getting hurt, that's going to affect her as well. One, it's going to give her pain because she's going to see her sister hiding instead of thriving. Two, it's going to make her feel like, oh, maybe I need to do the same thing. I don't know. My sister's so afraid of this. Maybe I should be afraid of this too. I'm a brother. I'm one of three boys. Right? I gotta show my brothers what it is to be brave. Because they need to be brave too. And loving them means more than giving to them. It means I want to show them an example of what brave looks like. Because I want them to do it as well. Any mums in the room who has got a kid?
Right?
So if you're hiding or if you're not going out there and making things happen, what's gonna happen? Your kids copy who? They copy you. So when, oh, I see mom's not happy, that affects me. Oh, and she does it this way or dad does it this way. Oh, maybe I should do it that way. So they start learning those lessons. The most loving thing you can do for someone is show them a great example. You've got people you love in your life. Don't just go out there and make things happen and take risks for you. Do it because you want to show them what a powerful woman looks like. And you show them, you would want to teach her the lesson that not to avoid pain that she's bigger than any pain.
Correct?
Correct.
Right.
So the way you teach her that she's bigger than any pain is you go out and show you're bigger than any pain. There is no relationship that can, can I get heartbroken? Yeah. Can some man make me cry? Yep. Can I get hurt? Yep. Is anyone gonna be able to stop me going out there and doing it again? Nope. There isn't a single human being powerful enough on earth to bring you down. And when you show her that, then you're being the most unbelievable twin on earth. Because now she sees what a powerful woman is.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
So we changed the goal. The goal was, how do I not get hurt? I'm afraid to get hurt. Avoid pain. The goal now is be a powerful woman for myself and for the people I love to set an example. And then it doesn't matter how much I get hurt, because I'm going to.
Keep doing this shit, This is who I am.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. It's not enough just to be competent at something. I can give someone things that they can say. I can give them ways to flirt, ways to create attraction. But if their programming is always telling them that they're either not good enough or that if they take a risk, it's going to mean pain and that pain is not something that they're going to be strong enough to deal with, then they're never going to get to the point of being able to use any of my techniques anyway. I want you to think today about whether there is any internal programming that is stopping you from reaching your potential in this area of your life or in any area of your life. Is there something about your self-worth or lack of it that's holding you back? Or the fear of pain, the fear of getting hurt, that's stopping you from self-actualizing in your life? If this is you and you know that you need more than a simple technique, you need to change the programming up here that's controlling everything you do, I urge you to apply for my retreat. It's a six-day immersion program where I have an entire system for changing your beliefs, changing your self-worth, the relationship you have with yourself, and it's a game changer. So I'll leave the link here. I hope you apply and as always, I will see you in next week's video.
