Matthew AI explains why some women attract the wrong men and what to do about it. He focuses on self-worth, confidence, and spotting red flags early. He also promotes a retreat program for personal growth beyond dating tips.
I got asked a question recently about attracting the wrong guys. This woman said to me, I am constantly attracting the wrong types of guys and I want to know what it is I'm doing to attract these guys versus the kinds of guys I really want. I'm always immediately skeptical when someone says this. If we really look at the logic of that, the things that attract the wrong guys in the beginning at the approaching phase aren't necessarily that different. from the things that attract the right guys. If you're a confident, sexy, fun person, you're gonna attract men in general, whether they're the wrong or the right guys. So then I have to ask the question, well, why is it then that this person feels like they're attracting more of the wrong guys? And my mind goes to, could it be that this person is giving more of a chance to the wrong types of guys? And I started questioning this woman more because this is a question I get a lot. And I said to this woman, well, talk to me about some of your relationships. And she started to talk about how she'd been in a couple of long-term relationships that were abusive and where she didn't feel good in the relationship. They made her feel terrible. And that that had made her a little gun shy. And she said, I don't want to attract the bad guys. I don't want to attract any of the wrong guys. And said, oh, okay. So this is revealing because what I then saw was a woman who, when she found out early on she was seeing warning signs with a guy, ignored them because she just really wanted to be with someone and maybe didn't even feel like she was good enough to attract someone better. It may even be on a deeper level, she didn't feel she deserved more than that. I always say the difference between a high value woman and a low value woman isn't that the high value woman never goes on a date with a bad guy. Any woman in the world has the potential to go on a bad date. The difference is that the low value woman actually dates bad guys. In other words, there's a difference between going on a date with the wrong guy and dating the wrong guy. Dating implies that you gave that guy another chance, that you saw red flags, you saw warning signs and decided to keep going down the road with that person anyway. High value women get really good at cutting off the wrong people early. Get good at moving on quickly. Trust yourself to be able to do that. Now, what does it mean to trust yourself to be able to move on quickly? Well, alongside paying attention to red flags, you also have to have the confidence to say, I know that there are other people out there for me, that I have choice, and that I don't need to settle for this. I don't need to convince myself that this person is better than they really are just because I'm now close to them and I feel comfortable and it's easier to stick with them than to go and find a new person again. this is about having a level of confidence deep down. I'm talking about a level of confidence where you love and respect yourself so highly that you would rather go through the difficult task of being on your own and finding someone better for as long as that takes than subject the most wonderful person you've ever known yourself to a man who doesn't deserve you. This woman I don't believe saw herself as the most wonderful person she'd ever known. And it may be that as I say that you also think about you and you say, I'm not sure I honestly see myself like that either. And that might be part of the problem that instead of walking away and saying, I'm such a beautiful and wonderful person that I deserve someone incredible, I'm not going to subject me to somebody like this. When you hear it logically, you're like, yeah, that's me. But when it comes down to it, you don't treat yourself that way. And if that's you, then you know that this isn't just about learning techniques for you at this stage. You know that there's something internal right now that you really want to bring into alignment, that you want to take your confidence to a level where you've really changed your relationship with yourself. because you can't demand more from other people and you can't get other people to buy into how valuable you are until you've bought into how valuable you are. I have a process that I go through with people three times a year and that's it. It's my retreat. And I don't do it very often because it's such a powerful process and it's five and a half days and it's intense. So it's intense for me too, not just for you. But I do it three times a year with an exclusive group of women in beautiful locations. This is a program where I get to the deeper stuff. that holds us back in our love lives and in all of our lives. I mean, this is a program not just about your love life, but about everything. But I've been doing this long enough to know that you can't fix everything just by a technique and having a better thing to say. There are times when there's something internal we need to fix. If you feel that's you, then I would love for you to apply for my retreat. It's not something you can just walk onto, but it's something you can apply for and we interview you and if we think you're right for it, then you come and join us there. Check it out. We'll put a link at the end of this video and in the description that can take you through to a place where you can book an interview to find out about this program. So that's it for this week's video. I will see you next week. I love you guys. Always know your worth and never settle for anything less than you deserve and I'll see you soon.
