Matthew Hussey explains how women can reject unwanted advances while staying kind and protecting their reputation. He recommends a brief thank-you, a clear exit, and pre-arranged signals with friends to leave conversations gracefully without being harsh.
Hello, everyone. I hope you're wonderful today. This is Matthew Hussey with love life. I have an interesting episode today. It's about rejection, but it's not about receiving rejection. It's about giving rejection and the nature in which you should give rejection. When you're out and a guy hits on you, I know that a common complaint amongst women is that it's not the guy you want to hit on you, and that's annoying, especially when it's the kind of weird guy. in the place who comes over and you're not sure what to do with him, really. You, you don't know how to reject him at the time. Now, I want to tell you to be careful of the way that you reject people, especially in public, because when, here's the thing about guys, when you walk in, they're staring at you. They're watching you, and they're also watching you when you're around other guys. So they're looking at how you treat everyone else as a representation, as a, a, a, a. a sign of things to come for how you're gonna treat them. So when you go and knock back that guy in a harsh way or give him this weird cold look and women do this, guys can do it too, but women are more used to being hit on than guys are. Women will look at a guy and size him up and give him a kind of cold look and ignore him completely when he's trying to talk to her and she'll turn away. Now I get why women do this and I'm treading a fine line here because if you give a guy too much attention, he won't leave you alone. I do understand that, and I know that that's why women who in the beginning might not have dealt out cold reactions to people learn that to some extent they have to have that in their tool belt. Because if they don't give a guy a cold reaction, sometimes there's a type of guy that won't leave them alone. He'll take any sign of politeness as a sign that she is interested or that at the very least she's not going to reject him so he can keep trying and being persistent. So I do understand, ladies, where you're coming from, but I also want to make you aware that when you reject that guy in a cold way that comes up to you, the guy you actually want to come over to you is watching. And if he sees that you treated someone else in an ugly way, you become uglier in that moment to him. Not only that, but he gets terrified of the prospect of being the next person who's going to get treated like that if he comes over to you. So don't. When you reject that guy who's in front of you, remember that you're on show for the rest of the room. And think about it this way. If a guy I really liked was watching this right now, how would I want him to see me? What sort of reaction would I give that is the classy, elegant, kind reaction that I would want the man of my dreams to see me giving to someone? See, I know that when I've been in relationships, I don't want the person that I'm with to be cold to other guys that hit on them. I don't want them to give them a ton of attention and flirt with them, but I don't want them to be cold with them. I want them to be classy and to be respectful and where necessary to remove themselves from the situation. And so this doesn't mean standing there and talking to someone you don't want to talk to. It can simply mean when someone gives you a compliment, saying thank you so much. That's very kind of you. And then turning and carrying on the conversation with your friends. And by the way, you can always inform your friends before you go out. You know, if you see a guy talking to me and I give you a little tug behind my back or, you know, give you a little sign, you can make up your signs between your friends. Then pull me out of it. Come and talk to me and ask me a question that allows me to answer and tell the guy, you know what? I really have to I really have to go, but thank you so much. I appreciate that. Or by the way, you can always tell the guy that you're speaking to, you know what? I really appreciate you coming over to me. We're on a bit of a girls out girls night right now. So I'm going to get in trouble with my friends. If I don't go and get back to them, but you have a wonderful night. Okay, really be kind about it. And by the way, look, I'll just add this caveat. If a guy is being obnoxious or doing anything inappropriate, then just get out. Just go with your friends, walk to another part of the venue, or worst case, leave the venue, but get to another part of it and feel free to shun him. But don't engage with him in some mean or weird thing that becomes something more than it really is. I always, I know growing up, the way I avoided fights was I walked. Right? The way every one of my friends who got into fights they would stand there and engage with somebody. They would stand there and actually talk to them and listen to them and I would literally be on, someone would be on the brink of fighting and I would turn around and walk the other way and it would give someone zero ammunition to be able to do anything with. So they'd go and find someone else who would actually give them fire to work with. Be polite, be kind, be respectful. I guarantee you that more of the people that you want will come over to you. if they see that you were kind to the person that went before them. If, by the way, you are not following me on Facebook, go check it out. Coach Matthew Hussey is my name. I'll see you there.
