I Answer 16 of Your Burning Questions + A Big Thank You (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

It is April 2015. Two really big milestones have been reached. The first one is we are approaching 200,000 subscribers on our YouTube channel since bringing Jameson on. The genius, the man, the myth, the legend, the person that has made all of my videos beautiful, we have climbed exponentially in the number of people that have been following this channel and enjoying this advice. And we are now approaching 200,000 subscribers. So I am truly excited about that. It blows my mind when I consider where we were only a year or two ago, and I want to celebrate that today. The second big milestone is that I have just been made the newest columnist for Cosmopolitan magazine, Manthropology. There I am, five texts every guy secretly wants. But you'll never know what they are now. I mean, you will. I've probably said them to you before, and they're in Cosmo. So, you know, just go and read them on the shelf. Don't even buy it. Just read them. It's one page. It's really quick. Do buy it. Please buy it so that they don't fire me. So this has been kind of a big deal. This has been a big month. I wanted to say to you guys an enormous thank you for getting us here. I have worked very hard. I've spent years refining my message and our philosophies and our techniques and our ideas. But the reality is, if we didn't have the size of the community that we have, and if you guys didn't shout as loudly as you do about how much you enjoy all of this, we would never be able to have opportunities like this. They wouldn't happen. What I find even more inspiring is that I set out with the goal that I didn't want to give mindlessly optimistic advice, but I also didn't want to give overly sarcastic advice. You know, I feel like people either end up in one of two camps. They're either always sarcastic and cynical, or they're completely overly optimistic. And they don't see life as it is. They just see it as they want to see it. And I feel like we have this beautiful balance here where we get to talk about what's important, but at the same time, we can do it in a real way where we actually do it in a practical way. That helps. So thank you for helping me make this happen, because I could not have done it without you. I hope that I do you guys proud in what I put out there in the magazine each month to celebrate these milestones. I wanted to do something a bit different. I wanted to answer your questions and I wanted to do as many as possible in a short space of time. So a couple of minutes ago we tweeted asking for questions for this video. So this is live. I've never seen these questions before. I have no idea what they are. It's on Twitter. I'm going to go through them and see what they are and I'm going to do as many as possible in the next few minutes. Celine says, do you think a couple can be successful with opposing religious views? Yes, but it's tough. It depends, I think, on how much those religious views actually have a practical implication in their life. If they don't, then really it's just your ideas and their ideas and perhaps you can find commonalities between your religions and therefore find the connection. I always was taught it's more important how you think than what you think. So if two people have two different religions but both draw the same meaning from them, and they both think in same ways about the values of that religion, then I think the values can be something that can actually bring them together instead of tear them apart. There may be differences, of course, in what they actually believe happened. But at the end of the day, Sam, I can't, I can't concentrate. I will be quick, don't worry. I literally have one of my staff behind the camera right now, like going like this, as if to say, like, okay, like, next question. Because they know I spend too long answering questions. But that's not a question that requires a 10 second answer and I'm trying to keep it short. I'm going to move on. But yes, I think they can work. Brian Escobar says, do you ever get time for yourself, like a vacation? You seem so busy all the time with tours and video blogs, etc. That's actually true. I am busy kind of all of the time. But that's why I tend to merge the two when I go and do my five day retreat. For example, we have a tradition that for four days after the retreat we go away and have a big blowout session where we just go and have fun and be silly for a few days and unwind after what has been a very serious and intense five days. So rather than always look at it as black and white, when am I relaxing, when am I working? You know, I tend to try and combine the two as much as possible. That's what having a great lifestyle is, is sometimes there's not so much of a division between work and enjoyment. You tend to enjoy both and mix them together. But sometimes I'll Just take a holiday, but not that often. Do men feel an emotional connection after sex? Sometimes, not always. Men can have sex quite often and not feel an emotional connection. I don't think men get an emotional connection through sexual. For the most part, I think that if they already have an emotional connection with a woman before they have sex with her, having sex will heighten that emotional connection. So it can think of sex as like a magnify, a magnifier. It can magnify the effects of an emotional connection, but it won't create one in the first place for most men. Pfizer. I'm going to say Pfizer. What are the top three signs of a healthy relationship and when to know it's worth fighting for or holding to. Top three signs of a healthy relationship 1. 2. People think about new ways to impress each other and turn each other on and flirt with each other and excite each other. So they're looking for ways proactively to make their partner feel more engaged in the relationship. 2. When there's an argument, they actually. They're not trying to hurt each other, they're trying to work together, to be kind and to understand each other so that they can move through it. They're not trying to win, they're trying to understand each other and actually move through the argument as. As two people that love each other. And what would be a third one? Two people that. That understand the value of taking time away from each other instead of just spending all of their time together trying to become one, trying to merge. There's a big difference between love and desire. And desire is created in the space between two people. So we must not eliminate all of that space. In a relationship, it's important to keep a little space every now and again, to have some unknowns between us so that we can still be attracted and excited and mysterious to each other. Sarah says, why does this one guy seem interested one minute, then ignores me until it suits him again to talk? Because he's selfish and it works for him. When it works for him, he comes to you, he gets a little attention. He enjoys that attention and that validation. And then he goes off and either gets it from someone else in the meantime or just goes and hangs with his friends or watches football or does whatever he does. And then when he gets a bit lonely again and feels like he needs a bit of validation and attention, he comes back to you. It's a selfish thing, but it's also a very human thing that people do. You need to stop worrying about why he's doing it. And start worrying about how much time you're spending thinking about a guy who is only in your life sporadically. T. F. Price says, what's the most challenging aspect of your career? And has that changed over time? Going to give two things. One, energy. There's an enormous amount of energy required for what I'm doing and different types of energy. You know, sometimes it's the energy of going for 10 hours a day in a seminar. You know, my retreats, we go for five days, and they're long days. That requires a lot of energy, and that can be challenging. But then there's the energy of having to sit down and write a new product or, you know, something that I'm excited about putting on paper. But that's a very different type of energy and requires immense amounts of concentration. So there's. There's the amount of energy that is required day in, day out to run this whole operation. And then I guess another one would be trying to get good at being a coach and a speaker, and also trying to get good at running an organization, both at the same time. That those two things have been very tough. In fact, it's multiple things. It's trying to be a great speaker, trying to be a great coach, trying to be great on camera, on radio, trying to be a great writer, trying to run a business. All of these things at the same time. Trying to do many things well is always a challenge, which is why you need a great team. Sam, how persistent is too persistent? If you hit it off with someone and then don't get asked out again, do you stop the chase? Well, you don't keep chasing. If I wanted someone to subscribe to my YouTube channel, I might once in a while make a video and then say, hey, by the way, subscribe to my YouTube channel. But I'm not gonna, like, keep saying it every week like, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. Because I don't want to chase subscriptions. I just want to put out great stuff. And then if people like it, they'll hopefully subscribe on their own without me having to ask. So every now and again, I might be bold enough to say, hey, you over there. Who hasn't subscribed? You should subscribe, you moron. But I won't say that every week. Here's the thing. If you want someone to chase you, or if you want someone to ask you out, just be great around them. Be sexy, be flirtatious, Be someone who is amazing to be around. Be someone who can't be ignored and you're likely to get asked out. If you combine that with showing a few signs here and there that you'd like to be asked out by him, then you're really winning. But no, don't keep chasing. Just make sure he sees the amazing side of you. Giada says, I got dumped because I have a better salary than my boyfriend. I am too strong and independent. How should I react? Give all of your money to charity and then start dating again. I don't think that strong, independent women turn all guys off. I think they turn some guys off. If you earn a lot of money, but you're humble and sweet, a lot of guys won't even think twice about it. But if you earn money and you're putting it in his face all the time that you earn more money than he does, then he's far more likely to be intimidated or insecure about it. Some guys will always be intimidated or insecure about it. Those aren't the guys you want to date. If you want someone who's not going to be intimidated by you, go for a guy who's either more confident or more accomplished. Those are your two options. Ainwa says, are you dating someone? No. I never know where, whether people think I'm lying because people might say no. He's saying he doesn't date anyone so that he looks available and other people will say no. If he said he was in a relationship, he has to say that because that shows that he knows what he's doing. Who cares? I'm not dating anyone. All right, Ginger, Lemon and Spice says, what is your favorite date ever that you went on? Oh, my God. I can't answer that. That offends everyone else whose date it wasn't. They're all my favorites. Alison says, is it harder for you to be romantically attracted to someone because you're able to identify what they're doing to attract you? I get asked this a lot, and, no, not really, because I. It's really charming when someone's trying to attract you. It's like, that's really attractive. I like it. So, if anything, if I see signs that someone is trying to attract me, it makes me want them more because I feel I tend to like people who like me. So, no, I'm fine with it. I. I do see stuff coming more than maybe the average person, I think. But it doesn't really affect my love life. It's still just as spontaneous and fun and silly and full of mistakes. This is Brenda. I'm 21 and planning to get a boob. Job soon. I'm doing it for myself, but some people don't get it. Suggestions for not to care. Here's the thing. If you're getting a boob job for other people, then other people's opinions about you getting a boob job are going to affect you. If you're getting a boob job for yourself because it's something that means something to you, it's something that matters to you, then you don't need to worry. There are certain things that I write that I write just for me and when I write them I'm not looking for feedback. I don't, I'm not trying to get validation. I wrote it for me. There are other things that I write for other people and when I write them for other people, I care a lot more about the feedback and what people say. So if you're doing it for you, then you don't have to worry about what other people think. What do you miss most about not living in the UK anymore? Pete Just like on Mass, people know how to make a cup of tea, whereas here it's you. I know that I say it a lot, but it's genuinely upsetting how difficult it is to get a decent cup of tea. There's, there are people on my team that I have literally trained to make a cup of tea exactly the way I like it. They're not like, I'm not talking like an intern or something. Like some of the highest level members of my team, I've trained them to know exactly how to do my tea. I'm thinking of creating, you know, one of those ph color codes. I'm thinking of creating one for tea where there's like 11 different shades of beige and I circle the one that I really want. Then they'll be able to do the, the old T test that someone should invent that. Alison says if you were attracted to a girl but then you found out that she read your book and used it to get you, would it be a deal break? Sort of be like really just be really hot, wouldn't it? Someone literally read a book that I wrote and then used it to get me. So some sort of weird fantasy? No, go for it. Alright, we're gonna do like three more because I can see Jameson's getting so annoyed with me right now. Lauren says how do I know when I should and can move out of my parents house? I'm 22 and don't know when the right time is. Love you Matt. Well, the right time is when you feel like you've Got yourself on your feet and you don't want to take that help anymore. But don't be afraid to take help when it's there. Just don't take advantage of that help. Ariel. Hi, Matthew. Why is it that my best friend only wants us to stay friends even if we know we both like each other? We know. Do you both know that you both like each other? Joseph Hardud says, How strong do you believe in your thoughts? I mean, are they always true? If not, why are you sharing them with us? When you're putting something out to 200,000 people, you tend to try and make sure that you feel there's a grain of truth at the very least in what you're saying because you're going to be held to account by that group of people who are ever scrutinizing. So I do feel very strongly about my thoughts, and I'm usually quick to correct them if I think I've said something that I don't now agree with. Are they always true? Probably not. I mean, you have to decide that they're true for me. But people debate the truth all the time. If not, why are you sharing them with us? I don't know, Joseph. You know, I'm just a man thinking thoughts and saying them. You don't have to listen. I'll keep sharing them if you want them to be shared with you. Keep coming back to my channel. Don't forget to say thumbs up. Basically, we have a social media lady who is on my team. Her name is Sam. She came to watch this video and she, by the way, she's been nothing but a distraction. But I do want to please her. So if you like this video, click the thumbs. Do you mean click the thumbs up thing? What do you mean? If they like parts of it? If you liked a part of this video, please, Thumbs up this video. Well, we've almost guaranteed that's not gonna happen now. Thanks for watching. It's been great. Go buy Cosmo. Go buy 10 copies of Cosmo. Oh, we wanted to do something, didn't we? Yeah. This is another thing we're gonna do. We're giving away. We're gonna send you a signed version of the magazine. What will you sign? The front? Should we sign the front or the page? The page and maybe the front. Probably both. We're not going to sign the whole thing. So if you want to get the signed copy that I'm going to do, leave a comment. And here's what I want you to say. Write the best flirty text message you've ever sent someone in the comments. And the one that gets the most likes will be the one that gets sent the Cosmo article. How long do you want to give it, Sam? Five days? Three days. Three days. I love this idea. I love that we get to send one of these out to you. And I love that we're going to see all these flirtatious text messages in the comments. It's going to be like we're crowdsourcing flirtatious text messages. It's amazing. So see you in the next video, my loves. How strongly do you believe in your thoughts, Joseph? Have you ever thought about that, mate? If not, why are you sharing them with me? Well, I'll keep sharing them if you want them to be shared with you. Keep coming back to my channel. Otherwise, have. Have your thoughts. We're gonna. We'll sign this page and this page. I say we. I will sign it. I was just using the royal we and yeah, you can have that. Oh, I have to say what I have to do. This is the worst ending to a video ever. Jameson just dropped his microphone. The whole mic pack behind the camera. He's laughing. He doesn't know what to f do anymore. I don't. I know that I'm. It's a shambles right now, but I actually do like this idea. I think this is really good. The fact that, by the way, this is the other reason you can tell Sam is never here when we record videos because she just literally talks during the video. You know that we can hear sounds in the room when you talk. Sh.