If Dating Has Broken Your Confidence, Watch This

Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Year of Love Live event. The final time that I am doing this. This is exciting. Give me a comment when you can see me and hear me. Slim Shady, what's going on? We've got East Germany here, Atlanta, Lebanon, Canada. Got people in the uk. Let me know where you're coming in from right now. Let me know why you're excited to be here. I can't wait to hear from you all. This is so fun that we get to do this, that we get to be in a live environment. I know we're busy. I know we have a lot going on in our lives, but I promise you, if you give this session your full presence while we're here, it's going to pay off. And I'm going to speak fast because I have a lot that I want to get through with you in the time that we're going to be together. So I'm going to move quickly. I want you to have a pen and paper ready. Ready. Write lots of notes, stay till the end. I know you've got other things you have to go and do at some point, but this is important. I promise you, you will thank yourself from being here for the whole thing. So clear the decks. Let's make this a special time together. Hello to all of you who are here right now, who are saying hi in the comments. Let's get started. Let me just shout out a couple of people. Felicia, what's going on? Hi, Lena. Hi, Gemma. Hi, Monica. Hi, Claire. Amazing. All right, why are we here? Why are we here? Well, I think all of us are here because we actually care about love. We care about finding love in our lives. It's something we want, and for, I assume, everyone here, it's something you want deeply. But that's what makes it so hard right now, because, my God, does dating feel hard right now? It has felt hard for a while, but when did it start feeling impossible for so many people? I have never seen so much despondence in all of my 18 years of doing this. What happened to this thing that we have been doing for thousands of years? Pairing up, falling in love? I blame Covid. Bear with me. I blame Covid for why there are so many fucking people online, why there are too many people on the apps, too many people on social media, too many personal trainers. Okay, that's a different one from our love lives, but still, too many dating coaches who started a TikTok yesterday, giving terrible advice, too many podcasts, too many everything. Before five years ago, a lot of people were Online, but not all of them. We are not designed for this. Our brain is not designed for this. And it didn't used to be like this, did it? How many people remember high school when There were like 20 boys and 20 girls and you picked the one you liked and you loved them from afar for seven years? It was simple, it was painful, it was fun. So now what do we have? We have what I call the peak saturation problem. Write that down. Peak saturation problem. My handwriting is going to be terrible, but it's only because I'm writing so fast. Because I want to get so much value to you in the time that we're together. The peak saturation problem means there's too much of everything and our brains are not designed for it. We'll talk about this. And by the way, there's always that friend who's been married for years who has the gall to give you a dating pep talk. And you think to yourself, shut up, Jonathan. You found Sarah before it all got fucked. You got married in the before times. You know nothing of these times. The peak saturation problem creates what feels like an endless buffet that makes people greedy. It makes the people entitled, it makes them unable to choose. That's why you keep meeting people who aren't willing to put in any effort or give anything a chance. Or are constantly looking for something better and are willing to dismiss you callously without a thought. Which is what so many of us experience in dating today, isn't it? Wolves and lions says, I love your handwriting. It's fun. I'm going to take that. It's fun. That's not what my team tell me. Janetti Boosters. Yes, Jonathan, it's not the same. Here's the thing. When you experience enough of this disappointment, it chips away at your self esteem, doesn't it? And then you start to think it's never going to happen for me. You see your friends pairing off babies and weddings all over social media. And then the longer you stay single, the more you begin to worry that there is something wrong with you. You see yourself getting older. You tell yourself that the good ones are all going to be taken and that in the process I am losing my value. And then we start to feel insecure and panicked. We start thinking, I can't waste another minute. So then we do one of two things. Typically, and I've seen this over many, many years, people either throw themselves into a toxic situation with someone because it's better than nothing, or we start over protecting. We start looking for the red flags everywhere. By the way, that's why so much dating advice online now is about red flags. Because we have this red flag culture. Because everyone is so burned and so cynical about all of the things that can and will go wrong that we have to come up with a thousand rules about who should get through the door and who shouldn't. What happens then is we overcorrect. How many people relate to this? Say me in the comments if you know you've overcorrected a little bit. And now it's like I'm scared of everything. And I just keep shutting people down for all sorts of small reasons. And we arrive at what I call the investment gap, the peach peak saturation problem. The peach saturation problem. Sounds delicious. The peak saturation problem gives rise to the investment gap. The investment gap is when the potential of a relationship is never actually realized because one person doesn't want to try and the other person is too scared to. So here's how the investment gap looks in early dating. When you find someone who actually stops and pays attention, it's someone you actually like. It feels like a shooting star. The stakes feel impossibly high. But then even at the point of having a great date with that person, you find yourself in this position where you're scared because they feel non committal. They give you just enough to keep you around, but not enough that you ever actually feel safe in the situation. And then in really subtle ways, you feel like things aren't moving forward. But you don't know how to bring that up because you don't want to look desperate. In fact, you don't quite know why, but you don't know how to bring anything up. You feel afraid to talk, to show your intentions, to ask where it's going. Your biggest concern stops being with your happiness or your well being. Instead, you just become preoccupied with not scaring them off. So you become afraid to ask for more. Then you start adjusting to their pace instead of listening to your own pace. This is the investment gap. And without realizing it, we solidify this gap early. When we teach someone that we're going to accept less from them to avoid losing them. And a really important part of the investment gap is it leaves you feeling like you're too much. How many people relate to that? Like, yeah, that's exactly what's happened for me in modern dating. It makes me feel like I'm too much. This is not a powerful way to move through our love lives and it is not one that's going to lead to success. And in all of this talk of dating culture and the kind of feeling of, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. There is someone who gets forgotten, and that's us. We forget the human at the core of all of this, with all of their hopes and dreams, the one who has always, since they were young, wanted so badly to find love. And the deep disappointment they feel because that's often what our anger is, isn't it? It's disappointment. The one who's scared because all he or she wants is to share their life with someone, and they're scared now that it's not going to happen. I want to talk to that person today and tell them that there is a better way, that they don't need to be scared because they are far more in control of this area of their life than they realize. I'm not going to tell you you're wrong about dating culture today. And actually, it's really great. It's not. It sucks. But you don't have to be a part of that culture. As Mitch Albom said, if you don't like the culture, don't buy it. Create your own. That's what we're going to do today. We are not going to spend the next year banging our heads against the wall of a dating app hoping for a different result. We're going to build a year of love, a year that's actually designed on making love inevitable. And I care deeply about this. More than ever in my life, I am connected to the value of a great relationship. I'm married to the woman of my dreams. My son was born seven years ago, Seven weeks ago, I should say. And I have this amazing baby upstairs. It's extraordinary. But I know if I had done any of this with the wrong person, my life would be a very different existence right now. What I can tell you, and I'm not talking from my own personal experience here, I'm talking from the experience of coaching hundreds of thousands of people, is that people are still finding love in 2026. And coaching that many people has shown me that any minute it can all change. So, like I said, grab a pen. Give yourself that attention today. Be present with me today, and let's make the most of this time together. Take a deep breath. By the way, how often do you get an opportunity like this to do something like this? This is such a rare thing. I don't get to do this very often these days. So let's make the most of it. I'm going to give you the four secrets to making this your year of love in 2026. And by the way, I'm going to finish today with something a little different. It's going to be an immersive emotional experience that's not just going to get it in your mind. We're going to get this stuff in your mind today, but we're also going to get it in your body. You're going to love it. Stay till the end. It's an exercise. You're going to be happy you came for. So let's start with secret number one. We have four of them today. Let's start with secret number one. And secret number one. If we want to make this our year of love is we have to know how to overcome the investment gap. And the way we do that is we have to stand out from the crowd by creating deep and lasting attraction. Deep and lasting attraction. And we do this with what I call the attraction formula. The attraction formula. Because let me tell you, there are people who understand attraction, consciously or unconsciously, who are doing things that other people are not. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. So let's talk about what those things are. The attraction formula comes in four parts. Make notes as you go. I don't want you to lose track of where we are. Like I said, I'm going to go fast. The first part is chemistry. Now, chemistry is not just an alchemy. It's not something you just show up on a date and you either have or you don't. We know that because if we're terribly nervous, we're going to struggle to create the same chemistry as if we're going in there boldly and confidently. Isn't that right? So we know that chemistry is something that we can create more of if we do the right things. But what are the right things? Well, firstly, there's understanding that there is a difference between friendship language and desire language. Let me give you an example. Let's say you had a great date with someone. At the end of that day, you go home. Maybe you go home around 8 o'. Clock. It was like a 5pm happy hour date. You go home and around 10pm you text that person. Now you could just say to that person, thanks so much, I had a really great night. Now that would be fine. Nothing wrong with that. It's more on the platonic side than the desire side. But let's say we wanted to change that into a text that created chemistry. Here's what we could say. I hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your night without me and Then you leave a little smirk, a little playful emoji. I hope you managed to enjoy the rest of your night without me. The implication, of course, is that how could you have enjoyed the rest of your night as much without me that I was the best part of your night, Right? There's something playfully self assured about that. There's something a little sassy about that. And that's why it turns someone on. That's why it creates chemistry. It signals something. It signals we're not going to be friends. I asked Matthew AI for an example. Who, by the way, who here is using Matthew AI right now? Who here has been blown away by what Matthew AI can do or it's helped you in a specific situation? Let me know in the comments. I said to Matthew I Matthew, I. Give me an example of a flirtatious exchange, a chemistry field exchange and Matthew AI. We came up with a scenario together where you were at work and someone was texting you while you were at work. And this is the message, Matthew I came up with. It said, I shouldn't even be texting you right now. I'm supposed to be focusing on my work. But you're distracting in the best way. I shouldn't even be texting you right now. I'm supposed to be focused on my work. But you're distracting in the best way. That's fun. That's chemistry. You didn't say, hey, I have to go now. Busy day, but thanks for texting me. That's not chemistry. What Matthew AI came up with, that's chemistry. So there are so many practical things that you can do to create chemistry. There's a thousand different ways. If we get more time together, I will show them to you. But chemistry is only the first part of the attraction formula that is designed to get you deep and lasting attraction. We got to move on to the second one. The second one is connection. Write this down. Connection. Bruce Springsteen had a quote. I never forgot it. He was talking about performing, but he said, when you have an audience in front of you, they simultaneously want you to excite them and make them feel at home. It's a great quote for attraction because if chemistry is making someone feel excited, connection is making someone feel at home. That means building a deep rapport with someone. Now, there are many ways to do this. Let's just go through a couple today. One of them is what I call entering someone's world. So write that down. And again, the first part of our attraction formula was chemistry. Second part of our attraction formula is connection. And to build Connection. You've got to be able to enter their world. Enter their world. What does that mean? It means we have to ask the right questions. The right questions are questions that are not just logical. See, if you said to me, what's your favorite movie? That's a logical question. I might tell you an answer, but it's just going to be a factual answer. By the way, favorite movie is not a good question. If you said, what's one of your movie? What's one of your beloved movies? What's a movie you really, really love and watch over and over again. I don't have to paralyze myself thinking about what's the favorite. I just come up with something I love. Well, my favorite movie happens to be It's a Wonderful Life. That doesn't tell you very much about me. That's a factual answer to a logical question. But if you followed that up with wow, what is it about that movie that really speaks to you? Why do you think that's a movie that has always stuck with you? Now you're going to learn my soul. Now I'm going to tell you things that even people who think they know me don't know about me. So never finish a question at the logical point. Take it to an emotional place. And you do that by asking the why question. Start with a what question. Go into the why question. That's one way to enter someone's world. Now, we don't want to just enter someone else's world. We also have to, if we want to create a two way connection, share your world. We can't just enter someone else's world. We have to share our own. Many people, how many ladies I know you have this complaint. In particular, how many of you have been on a date recently and just been so frustrated about the fact that. No, that that person you were on a date with didn't ask you a single question about yourself. You ended up asking all the questions. You ended up letting them do all the talking and they never actually asked you about you. Well, we have to take responsibility for talking about us. We can't just put that in somebody else's hands. We have to take responsibility for that. And there's a clever way to do this. We take a question that's an everyday, mundane question and we answer it with a deeper answer. So if someone says, you know, how have you been? I might say, in my life right now, if someone asked me that question, I've been good. I've been feeling particularly inspired this week. I just went to an Event that I got invited to. It was something I would never normally go to, but it was this salon of, like, 20 people. And the whole premise of the salon was that there was going to be this guy there who talked about this composer Anton Bruckner played a piece of his classical music and. And we talked about it and what it meant to us, and he talked about that time period. Now, before I went, I was like. That sounded so kind of out of my world, but I left feeling like I just want to learn everything. Do you ever have an experience like that? Someone can just say, how are you? Or what have you been up to? When you answer with that, you're giving 10 different conversational hooks for someone to latch onto and to start to get to know you. Right. This is the difference between conversation being tennis and conversation being basketball. Most people play tennis when they're having conversation. They say, hey, how's it going? Boom. I'm good, thanks. You? Yeah, I'm good. What have you been up to? Not a lot. Just working, you know, same old. And they just keep hitting the ball back to each other. Conversation shouldn't be like tennis. It should be like basketball. You get the ball, you dribble it down the court, you hold on to it for a minute, you look for your options, and then you pass it off. But you're not afraid to hold the ball a little longer. So those are just two ways of creating connection. Enter someone's world, share your world. There are many more. There's how you elicit and receive vulnerability in the other person. Big subject. Learning how to create what I call me too moments. The law of reciprocity. The echo effect, which is how you remember and repeat details to people. The art of conversation, which is the tennis basketball analogy. But there's lots of ways to implement that. And there's also learning ways to perceive someone uniquely in a way that no one else does. Connection is an art form to make someone feel simultaneously seen by us while allowing them to see you, but in a way that's magnetic. That's what turns chemistry into a different level of attraction, because chemistry leads to hookups and. But chemistry alone doesn't make us miss someone's presence. It just makes us miss their intimacy. Out of interest. Out of the many, many people we have right now, who here feels like they're not creating enough chemistry? And who here feels like they're not creating enough connection? If you're not creating enough chemistry, then you might find that your dates are never going from date one to date two. That's a classic sign of not creating enough chemistry. If you find that people are constantly just looking for the superficial or intimate, but nothing more, it might be a sign you're not creating enough connection. Who here feels they're not creating enough connection? Who here's not creating enough chemistry? Or who here feels like they're not creating enough of both? Be honest. So Essie says, chemistry, I suck at flirting. Project says me. No connection. Rebecca. Connection. A bunch of you are saying both. Sharla. Okay. And by the way, I heard, I just saw someone said I don't even know how to meet people. To start with, we're going to come on to that. First, let's move on to the third part of the attraction formula. By the way, for those of you who are like, I don't even meet people to do this with, secret number two is really going to appeal to you. So connection. That's the second part. The third part of our attraction formula is what's called perceived value. Perceived value. Everyone is asking the same question in dating. I don't care. Man, woman, doesn't matter. Is the person I'm on a date with a person of value? Am I short changing myself with this person or are they a catch for me? Everyone is asking the question of whether someone is going to make their life better or worse. Is this the person that's the best I can do, or do I think I could do a lot better than this? It's kind of like that James Hollis quote. Will this person diminish me or will they enlarge me? And let me tell you, the reason I call this part of the attraction formula perceived value, not just value, is because the intrinsic value we have in life counts for nothing in attraction. The value we communicate to somebody else counts for everything. So what are some great ways to communicate value? And by the way, after I've told you some great ways, I'm going to tell you a very dangerous way to rely on to communicate value. Let's start with how we can show value in a really positive way. You tell me right in the comments right now, have your best guess at it. What is something that we can do that creates value in someone's life? Or what's something that we can do to be perceived as valuable by somebody else? How can we show our value if. If communicating it is everything, how do we communicate it? Okay, so one, you could be good at something. You could be good at something. Have you ever seen someone in their element doing something really, really well that they do at a high level? Isn't it sexy? Isn't it attractive? Someone said, listen, yeah, you can have perceived value by being a great listener, but by the way, that's probably, that's going to create value and connection, which is awesome. You can be kind, you can be a kind person, a good person that shows perceived value. What about passion? What about passion? Passion is a big one. When I went to that event the other day, that was a real event I went to and I went and listened to. I literally sat there in a 15 minute piece of classical music by this composer, Anton Bruckner. I'll be honest with you, for those 15 minutes I was sat there trying to connect to the music and struggling. And then when it was finished, this guy Clemens, who had flown over from, from Germany I believe it was, he was an ex choir boy in Vienna. He talked to us about the life of Anton Bruckner and how he related to Wagner and how he idolized Wagner and how Wagner respected him and the time in which it all took place and how Nietzsche went off of Wagner but loved Bruckner. And it was like this whole world that I didn't know. And it was extraordinary because when I, when I listened to that, I went, this guy Clemens, who's telling us all of this, he's extraordinary. I love his mind. And the whole talk finished and I went up to Clemens and I was like, clemens, that was amazing. And it wasn't just amazing because it got me interested in the subject. It was amazing because it gave me a window into the magic of Clemens mind. The way he passionately spoke about it gave me a window into the magic of his mind. Passion is a master key to perceived value. What else? Thoughtfulness, intelligence, being funny, the way you show up for people in your life, a healthy sense of independence, confidence. By the way, some of these you can show in very practical ways. Let's imagine that you wanted to show a healthy level of independence and you wanted to show confidence. Well, you could send someone a video message when they text you and say, hey, how are you? What you up to? Instead of just sending them a message back, you could actually send them a video message. Maybe you're cooking for your sister in that moment and you send a video and you're like, hey, I'm with my sister right now. She's over there being lazy while I'm cooking for us. But I'm a great cook, so I don't blame her. This is what I'm cooking. Aren't you jealous that you don't get to eat that? Anyway, I have to go. We're having the best time. Let me know what you're up to and then you send that message. Now, that message is actually doing a lot to create perceived value. It's showing an aliveness, right? Many text messages we send, they're dead, right? They mean nothing. They can, they don't connect, they're dead. But this is alive. It's a live communication. It takes confidence to send a message like that. You have to own yourself. It showcases you in the middle of having a life. And if you're too scared to do that, you can send a voice note or you can send a picture. It will still have some of that effect. But the point is that's a practical way that you can create perceived value. And there are many ways. If you're a man, your views around women, if they're positive, can create perceived value. If you're a woman, your views around men can create massive perceived value. Being clear about what matters to you, your values, being in integrity with those values, the company you keep. There are so many ways to do it. And by the way, the real magic is when we create what I call unique pairings. Unique pairings are when you find two different qualities in the same person. Let's say funny and intelligent. And you don't normally find those two qualities in the same person. Someone's either academic or they're intelligent or they're really funny. But when you find both in the same person, they unique pairing, then that person becomes addictive. Then they become rare and special. So what? Create. What we want to do is create more unique pairings this year in ourselves. Perceived value comes from who we are as a person. Our personality, our character, what we represent, the life we bring. What world does someone get to be a part of by being with us? And when we combine those two things, what we get is the highest point of perceived value, which is respect. We get respect. Respect is like a master key for perceived value. Many of us forego respect to try to be liked. But when we try too hard to be liked, we lose respect. And when we lose respect, we lose attraction. We should value being respected more than being liked. If we want attraction, if we want to find an amazing relationship. Now one thing we have to realize with perceived value. And I'll tell you what's the dangerous way to show perceived value in a moment. But there's something we have to remember. What's valuable about you is not going to be valued by everyone. You may stand for things that other people don't value and that's okay. We are not supposed to attract everybody in this life. This is what we have to come to understand about breakups. Who here has been through a bad breakup recently? Who here has had their heart broken? Tell me in the comments who is suffering from acute heartbreak right now? Let me tell you something that's going to help you. That person who broke up with you almost certainly didn't value what was valuable about you. Never make that breakup about your fundamental worth. If someone left you, Betty, Daniel, John, Kathy. Today she says if someone left you, there is a high chance it's because there was something about you that was ultra valuable. But they didn't value it. And that doesn't make you unworthy. It makes them wrong for you. Because the person who is right for you is the person who values what what is valuable about you. The person who is right for you is the person who comes along and values what is valuable about you. Okay? So I said there was a very dangerous way to create perceived value. What is that way? Does anyone any guesses? Anyone know? It's doing things for people. When it comes to our romantic lives, too many people rely on doing things as a way of creating value. Now why is this dangerous? Our problems start when we think we are going to show someone how much we're valuable by how much we do for them. We think to ourselves, I will just provide as much value as possible for this person and that's going to make them fall for me. They're going to see that I'm irreplaceable. They're going to see they can't live without me. They're going to see how much I'm willing to go out of my way for love or for how much I feel about them. Now. Doing things for people, showing up for people, compromising for people, going out of our way for people is great in a relationship. It's an absolute formula for having an amazing long term relationship. It's extremely dangerous in early dating because if we try to raise our value too soon by what we do for people in early dating, it's going to have the opposite effect. Let me tell you why. Because perceived value only works if we pair it with the last part of the attraction formula. By the way, who are my people pleasers out there? Be honest. We didn't come here to bullshit ourselves about our nature or the way we are. I want to get you results this year and that means starting by being honest about ourselves. Who here are my people pleasers who are prone to guilt or doing too Much for people or over giving. So this is very, very common. I see you all. Maureen, Amy, for my people pleasers, doing things, showing up for people is almost certainly something you over rely on in creating perceived. If we want respect, we can't do that because giving too much will mean we lose that respect. Which is why we need the last part of the attraction formula which is called perceived challenge. Perceived challenge. So many of us invest in people based on how much we admire someone and how we feel about them. Right? I really like you, so I'm going to really try hard. But what that means is the other person starts questioning our value because what they learn is I don't have to do anything to earn your attention. And people respect what they earn. And respect, as we've already said, is key to attraction. So one of the hardest tasks for all of us, especially the lovers in the room, especially the romantics in the room, especially the people pleasers in the room or the insecure people in the room. What we have to be so careful of is investing too quickly. We have to stop ourselves from investing too quickly in early dating. Now how do we do that? First, we adopt a we'll see mindset. Write that down. Adopt a we'll see mindset. So instead of rushing to label someone as special or imagining a future with them, you remind yourself that I am still in the discovery phase with this person. Yes, I am enjoying getting to know them. But. But we'll see. You don't let your friends get you all hyped up about it when you have no idea what it's going to become. Don't project all of your hopes and dreams onto that person. Remember, the top job on offer in your life is who gets to be with you for the rest of your life. That is only a role that can be earned. It can't be given away. So a doctor will see mindset Next. Go slow to go fast. Show time. Show that you're taking the time to assess who they really are. You're not being dazzled by their shiny parts. You're better than that, right? We can't just be dazzled because someone's charismatic or their high status or we think they're out of our league. Take that power away from someone. Give it time for a stronger connection to build. Don't mistake sex for connection because they're not the same thing. Allow yourself time to ensure that both of you are equally invested. You know why? Because here's what's really slow, Spending months or years on the wrong person. I want you to write this down. Choosing wrong is slower than going slow. Choosing wrong is slower than going slow. Who here has lived the life that allows you to testify to that fact? Who here has experienced choosing wrong and having things go really slow in your life as a result? You were in a wrong relationship for 12 months or 5 years or 20 years or 30 years, and now you find yourself back out there and starting again as a result. It's a lot of people, by the way. Don't beat yourself up for that. Look, you're in wonderful company. You're in wonderful company right now. This is true of so many people. I've chosen wrong. It's a very, very, very, very, very, very painful detour. So tell yourself, okay, I took a really fucking painful detour. But it taught me something. It taught me that going slow or choosing wrong is slower than going slow. What we have to do instead is what I call invest, then test. Some of you know this, especially my love life members. If you're one of my love life crew, leave a shout out in here right now so I know you're out there. Invest, then test. We live by this principle. What that means is I might like you, but I don't know you. And I certainly don't know if you'd make a great partner for me for a lifetime. And I don't know how much you're even willing to give. And your value is not just based on how much. I think you're awesome. It's based on how much you invest in me. So let me invest and see what happens. Do you meet me there? If you don't, I recalibrate. I recalibrate. I shift. I go. Okay, maybe this isn't such a good idea. Maybe I'll pull back a little bit if you. If I invest and you meet me there. Okay, great. Now we're dancing. Now we're in this. I'm going to invest a little more. It got rewarded. Most people do not do this. If you watch most people in their dating lives, most people that come to me have someone that they cannot get off their mind. Someone who's become an obsession. Someone they decided once upon a time they liked. And by the way, the moment you decide you like somebody is the most dangerous moment in dating. The they've decided they like somebody, and then in that moment, they say, ah, I really like this person. This person is someone I should be with. Very well, then. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest. Invest, Invest. Oh, I'm heartbroken. That's the Story of most people's love lives. So when we adopt a will mindset, when we go slow to go fast, when we invest and then test, these are all examples of a very important word. Standards. Standards. Write that down and over underline it. Standards are so powerful. And by the way, they're way more powerful than the game playing that people do when they try to look like they're valuable, which is they play hard to get. Hard to get is a bullshit tactic. It's game playing. It doesn't work. Standards are way more powerful. Hard to get is pretending you don't like someone just so that they'll like you more. And then you attract really unhealthy people who chase you and then all of a sudden don't care about you. The moment they realize they can get you. Having standards is different. You can be real about liking someone. You just have to have standards behind that. The greatest way to create perceived challenge and therefore respect to have standards. A standard says, if I don't know where I stand with you, I'm not afraid to find out. So you have a casual conversation with someone, hey, I noticed that, you know, we've been seeing each other for a minute now. And when people ask me out, I don't know what to tell them. That's having a standard. I'm boldly going there and having that conversation. I'm also raising my value at the same time on I, because it's when other people ask me out, I don't know what to tell them. Right. I'm not going to be here forever as the subtext. People are looking for cues from you to know whether or not you're valuable. And standards make you seem more valuable. Because what they say is, I like you, but I don't like you so much that I'm going to bend and compromise in ways that make me miserable. A standard says I have the ability to pivot at any time regardless of how much I like you. And that's where standards, by the way, lead to boundaries. A boundary is how you actually enforce a standard. You know, if someone says, I really like you, but I'm just not in that place right now, you say, well, lots of people really like me. So if I was just going to hang out with someone who really liked me, I could do that with anyone. My time and energy is valuable. So I'm not interested in giving energy to someone who's not in the same place as me. Boom. That's a standard and a boundary. What it says to someone, plain and simple, is, I Like you. But I am way more committed to my own happiness than I am to keeping you in my life. In other words, I am committed to me. What's this about? It's about showing someone your culture. What did Mitch Albon say? If you don't like the culture, don't buy it. Create your own. Oh, that's your culture. You just like hooking up and you don't really want to commit to anything. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. Allow me to share my culture with you. But I want to share something even more advanced with that, because some of you have heard me talk about this before. I wanted to go a little more advanced today with you in the time that we have. Because setting boundaries is like level one survival. It's good. It's important. It will get you out of a lot of trouble, and it will save you a lot of heartbreak from the wrong people. But there is another level for advanced communicators, which is what we are. I don't believe you showed up to be average. You showed up because you want to know how to approach your love life in an advanced way. And as advanced communicators, there's something we have to know. Saying no is one thing. I don't want that I don't like that you don't get into my life with that behavior. That's one thing. Getting the person you like to say yes, that's another. And we don't want our legacy to be that. You know, on my tombstone it says, here lies Mary. She shut a lot of shit down. What do we want? We want I lived. Here lies Mary. She fucking lived. And to live, you have to do more than say no. You have to become a persuader. See, there's having your own culture and there's being a great influencer of your culture. Powerful people influence other people into the culture with them. That's what Audrey did on day one of my relationship. If you read my new book, Love Life, you know the first line says, confession time. I have always been a terrible person to date. But Audrey came along, and when I was showing her my culture, she said, that's interesting. Allow me to show you my culture. And she said and did things and had boundaries and standards that changed the way I showed up in that situation. That turned it into what it is today. We do this by developing the power of influence. That is what I'm going to talk about in Secret number four, by the way, so stick around for this. I'm even going to show you a practical example of how you can use the power of influence to bridge the investment gap. If you've got someone who's not investing enough in you right now, this is going to show you the difference that gets them to invest more. So that everything we just did, the attraction formula as a way of getting past the investment gap was just. Secret number one, we have three more to go. Who's glad they came? Who here is already, like, this is. I'm so happy I'm here. Like, this is exactly what I wanted for myself today. All right, let's move forward. Secret number one is redundant without secret number two. And one of you already alluded to why that is. Because we need to actually meet people for the attraction formula to matter. But most people either aren't meeting people they like or they're not meeting people at all. And that's either because they're not being proactive enough or they're being proactive in the wrong ways and it is burning them out. Before we move on from the attraction formula, by the way, I want to remind every single one of my love life coaching group members there is an entire attraction formula masterclass inside your love Life app for each 4P for chemistry, connection, perceived value, perceived challenge. I go through many techniques and many more examples for all of them, including, for example, connection I go through to hit theory and how you actually do that to meet more people in the room, all of it. So if you're a love life member, go check that out. If you're not a love life member, if you ever become become one with us, go watch that masterclass. Because I do two whole hours on the attraction formula alone. We do not have time for that today because I have to get to secret number two. So secret number two, we have to design our year to be an environment where love can happen. And we do that through the flame method. Anyone here who is struggling to meet people or create opportunities in your love life needs this. Secret number two because of the attraction formula is about what you do once you've met someone. This is about how to get yourself in the game in the first place. How do we make 20, 26 a year where meeting quality people becomes an inevitability. The way I think about it is we can either be the moth or we can be the flame. The moth goes out there just bumping into shit. So the moth is like mindless. It looks, you know, bumps into opportunities. Maybe it gets lucky, maybe it doesn't. The flame is what attracts everything to it. And I want. There are times where we're going to go out and be the moth. Don't get me wrong. Maybe we'll be a little more precise, but we'll be that. Sometimes we also need to have a lifestyle that becomes the flame, that generates opportunities without us constantly having to put in tons of effort to make it happen. There's a British economist by the name of John Kay. He wrote a book called Obliquity. Really interesting book. The whole idea was this, that when it comes to goals that are complex, let's say making a million dollars, let's say finding the love of your life, that the best route to achieve those things is not direct but indirect, that there are many things that don't even necessarily seem to have anything to do with that thing, that if we do them, will contribute and will inevitably create that result. He calls it the oblique way. In other words, the indirect way. So this isn't about doing more, it's about doing the right things so that we don't get exhausted in the process. Let me give you an example of the flame method. How many people here have put yourself in new communities in a powerful way in the last six months, where you've put yourself in a new world of people, people you don't know, people where you genuinely are finding yourself meeting an entire new ecosystem of people. Because let me tell you, communities are a master key when it comes to the flame method. How many people, if you're honest, have spent a lot of time in recent years around the exact same people, the same friends? Maybe they're the same married friends, or maybe they're the same single friends who are struggling. Just your family or the people at work or the people that you, you know, do that particular class with, who here, if you're honest, has spent too much time around just the same communities and the same people? So I see C.J. owen saying, Guilty. The importance of new pools of people cannot be underestimated. And new pools of people often come from new friendships. One of the great ways to tap into a new community is a new friendship. So one of our. One of our priorities this year, this is one of the interesting things. This is the oblique approach. If you said, gun to your head, I have to find love this year. This is the year it has to happen. It has to be someone awesome, it has to be someone amazing, but it has to happen this year. And you said to me, what's one of the most important things that I can do? I say, meet new friends, make new friends. And you say, how would that affect my love life? Because when you make a new friend, if it's not someone you already know, the people you already know, isn't it true you've exhausted probably many of your options in the. In the pool of people you already know? Your friend's brother, sister, you know, the people you know in that friendship group that always hang out together. You've probably exhausted those options. But when you make a new friend, that new friend is part of an entire new community. So when they invite you somewhere, all of a sudden you have access to options you didn't know existed. A whole new world of them. And when you're there, you have to be able to apply the attraction formula to make things happen, right? But this is the dip, by the way. You don't have to become. I have introverts on. And I can talk about introversion because I am a big introvert. There's always the introvert who says, but I don't want to go out there and do this and socialize and blah, blah, blah. And I always tell people, listen, you don't need to suddenly become the Great Gatsby, throwing parties every other weekend to get people to come to your house and, you know, spend all that time and energy and effort, but you should work on knowing a couple of Gatsbys. You don't have to be Gatsby if you know a couple of Gatsbys, because you're going to get invited to places regularly. So community is huge. Community. Another thing is we all already do things in our lives. What are the activities or the interest that you already have? We all have certain things we like to do. You might like to run, but maybe you run on your own in the streets with your headphones in. It would take the same amount of time to be part of a running club, but by being part of a running club, you're going to meet people. And by the way, this takes us back to community. Because maybe you don't meet the love of your life in that running club, or maybe you do, but even if you don't, you make a new friend and that new friend invites you somewhere and that brings you into a whole new community. By the way, I believe many of us need a master class on making friends. My wife Audrey, who sat right over there, you know, she is a master at making new friends. So is my brother Steven. When they moved to la, both of them moved to LA not knowing a soul. And all of a sudden they built all of this ecosystem of friendships, this social life around them. You know, Steven's got friends People, I have no idea who they are or I don't hang out with them. They're his people. But they both landed and built an ecosystem for themselves. You don't join a running club because you're going to meet your person there. You do it because you might make a friend and that person might know the love of your life. So here's what I call this. You do the more sociable version of the thing you already do. Most of us in our lives, our lives don't offer many new opportunities to naturally and organically just have a whole new ecosystem, a whole new community. It happened when we joined our first school. It happened when we went to secondary school. It happened if we went to college. It happened in our first job or our second job. But at that point, most of us, our lives, our social lives atrophy. And so now what happens? We are stuck, beholden to dating apps because it's the only way we're meeting people these days, new people. And we all know some of the frustrations and the burnout that people experience on the dating apps. That's not me saying you shouldn't use them. It's me saying it must not be your only method. It cannot be your crutch. They're just a tool. But you have to have many other tools in your belt if you want to guarantee you find love. So these are just a couple of examples of the flame method, new communities and do the more sociable version of the thing you already do. There's also how we structure our dates because many people are doing dating wrong in terms of when they have dates, the length of their dates, how we manage our time along with all of the other things we have to do. Because how many of you, be honest, how many of you are burning out in your life in general, and it does not leave much energy or room for, for dating or meeting people or doing any of the things I'm talking about. Put your hand up in the comments. Say me. We have to learn how to approach people in real life settings. The art of following up, how to create low risk second encounters. Two hit theory. This is something I referred to earlier, which is essentially a way to meet a lot of people in a new environment very quickly, even if you're an introvert. And we also have to become the kind of person that someone wants to invite to places. You know, this is the truth. We have to become the person who gets the invite. Now, something I want to talk about with everything in the flame method, everything we do here has to be Sustainable. Everything has to be sustainable. Why? Because you do not know when you are going to meet the right person. You don't know if you're going to meet them four weeks from now or four months from now. And if you burn out doing too much in the next 30 days, this is why I want to show you a better way this year, a sustainable way this year. Because if you burn out in your love life in the next 30 days, running in a certain direction, trying to find love, then you'll give up. And then if the right person was going to come into your life with the current strategies four months from now, you never get to meet them. The goal is to stay alive, my friends. And there are so many people in dating right now who are never going to find love. Not because they couldn't, but because they're giving up, because they're burned out. They're not staying alive in the game. By the way, for all of my love life members, I'm doing something very, very exciting this weekend that relates to all of this. Stay tuned. I've been wanting to do this for a long time. I'll tell you about it. Okay, so look, as you start to employ the flame method, you are going to meet a lot more people. But in order to turn these meetings into relationships, you need the attraction formula. That was secret number one. So we've had the attraction formula and the flame method. Okay? We overcome the investment gap using the attraction formula and then using the flame method, we design our 2026 to be the year that we attract love. We create an ecosystem where finding love becomes inevitable. That brings us on to secret number three. And this one is essential because if we don't have this, we're going to sabotage everything. You can design your year around finding love and you'll meet quality people, more than you have in the last 10 years. You can learn the attraction formula and you're actually going to turn those meetings into dates and date 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 and so on. But if we don't have secret number three, we are still going to sabotage all of it. Secret number three is you must own yourself. You must own yourself. How many people here. And we've had a. We've been really vulnerable and honest today and I really love it. I really appreciate it. There's a beautiful kind of no in the comments right now that I'm enjoying. Who here no knows they have patterns that sabotage them in their own dating lives. Forget how hard dating is. Forget how shitty the, the gender you're trying to Attract is at times forget all of the things that frustrate you from the outside. How many of you know that there is something, a pattern that you have yourself that runs the risk of sabotaging you? And if you know what it is, speak it in the comments. If you feel like doing it, you don't have to, but if you feel like doing it, say it in the comments. Someone says, lack of self esteem, abandonment issues, being too negative. What's a pattern you have in your life? What's a negative story you tell yourself that you know is actually affecting your dating life? Being attached to unavailable men, fear of rejection over investment, being too negative, too available, lack of trust. None of what I'm talking about today works without owning yourself. We have to learn to own ourselves or we will have wasted our time here today. We have to be powerful persuaders of our value. Why? Because people are looking for cues as to whether or not you're valuable. Guys, let me tell you a little secret about attraction. People don't know what the fuck they want. They don't know we get to be the persuasive force that comes along like a magnet and someone sees us and they go, I didn't know what I wanted, but now I do. It's you. But to be a persuasive force, we have to believe it. I was interviewing someone for. This was actually an interview I did inside my love life coaching program with a guy called Ed Mylett, many of you will know him, very, very big business mentor. And we were talking about attraction and being a persuasive force. And he said this. Really, really, he said this thing that when, when he said it, it lit up the comments of all of my love life members. He said, matthew, when you are in sales, because that's his world is sales. He said, when you're in sales, your job is not to convince someone that what you have is valuable. Your primary task is to show someone that you believe what you have to offer is valuable. Your job is not to convince someone that what you have is valuable. It's to show someone that you believe it's valuable because that is the most persuasive force in the world. Does that make sense to everyone? You see that subtle distinction that makes all the difference? It's not about what it's about. Are you connected to how powerful and valuable you are? Because we cannot persuade people if we don't believe it. And too often we don't believe it because we have this narrative we've created for ourselves. A narrative that by the way we can be well justified in having created. We've been through some bad experiences. We've had a lot of rejection. We've experienced some terrible heartbreak. We've experienced terrible betrayals. We were brought up by parents who neglected us or abandoned us or made love conditional. We experienced people who made us feel like we weren't enough, who put doubt in our mind. But the problem is it then creates a narrative, a story we have that actually robs us of our value in dating. What are some of those stories? I'm too old. I'm not experienced enough. For some people, it's. I've never had a partner. I've never had a real partner. I'm behind. How many people feel behind right now. It's too late for me. How many people feel that one and tell themselves that story? I'm not attractive. This is. Someone says, I have to go. Phenomenally valuable session. Please don't go. We have so much more to do. Yeah. So. So many of you experiencing this. Jenny, feeling behind se. I keep being told I need to hurry in my 30s. So now you're being fed a negative story as well. Kellen, I have to be perfect. Yeah. Heidi. I'm behind. When we adopt these narratives, they control our value in dating. When we don't believe our value, we show up as someone who's reactive. Not someone who's grounded, not someone who owns themselves, someone who's reactive. Our nervous system takes over, and our nervous system, depending on who we are and what survival techniques we learned, has different responses. Responses. For some people, it's fight. You know, you. You date someone and they do something that makes you feel scared. You know, I had a client of mine, I was coaching, and someone didn't invite her to a barbecue that he was having. And she was so frightened by it. She felt so rejected by it that she turned it into a giant argument on the day of this barbecue that she wasn't invited. So her nervous system took her to fight other people's. It turns to flight. They become avoidant. He didn't invite me. So you know what? Screw him. I'm just gonna. I'm. This person's dead to me. So they run away. Other people freeze. I'm not going to say anything because I just don't want to ruin it, but I. And I'm too scared, and I just. So people freeze. Other people fawn. A psychological term for people pleasing. You know, they start trying to do more. And that's a dangerous scenario, isn't it? Because now you have someone who treats you badly. And the worse they treat you, the more you do for them to try and get you to like you again. And then in the process, you lose respect. And because you lose respect, you lose attraction. And you wonder why it's getting harder and harder, even though you're doing more and more. Look, this is a much bigger area. But make no mistake, the surest way for your stock to fall is to let your stuff win. Owning yourself through confidence and being grounded is a superpower. And my friends, if you combine that with setting up your year around the Flame method and learning the practical techniques for the attraction formula, what is possible for you in 2026 will astound you. You will find yourself on a path to something meaningful with someone who's actually right for you. And there'll be people around you who you've always complained with or, you know, lamented how hard dating is. And you won't be telling that story anymore. And they'll still be talking about how bad modern dating is. They'll still be stuck in the investment gap. That's why I want you to commit to this stuff. That's why I'm saying, don't leave, because you're here. And this is all still to play for. I don't care what age you are, you're not behind. I don't believe in behind. You're where you're meant to be. It's your life. I'll tell you something my boxing trainer once told me. He said, matthew, it's your life. You can't do it wrong. And what's ahead anyway? People who think they're in a great relationship right now. Many of them won't be a year from now or five years from now. Right? Those people you're comparing yourself to. I'm so much further behind this person. Well, what happens if they get a divorce in 10 years? Now, are they behind? It's all bullshit. Sometimes someone gets sick, you lose someone to tragedy. What are you now behind again? Look, we have no idea what's going to happen in life. You could meet the love of your life today and lose them in six months to something terrible. All I know to be true is that you are alive now. We're here. We have the privilege of being here. And there is so much still available to you. There are so many stories that have yet to happen in your life, far more than you're experiencing right now. And honoring the fact that you're alive means embracing those opportunities and making the most of it. Because we're not going to have it forever. Now. I get it. I get it. One of the hardest things about imagining a better love life is that we are terrible predictors of what is possible for us. And it's not because we're pessimists. It's because our vantage point is limited. When you've been hurt or disappointed or let down, when things haven't worked out the way you'd hoped, again and again, it becomes extremely hard to imagine something genuinely different. Who here is finding it really hard right now to imagine something different for yourself? You've been through so much. It's like to believe that I want to hear you, but to believe that there's more. Man, that's hard for me, given the life I've had and what I've been through. Who here relates to that? So many of you. Yeah. But let me give you what I hope is a reassuring thought, my vantage point on your life, not limited in the same way that it is for you. Because for nearly two decades of my life now, over 18 years, I have worked with hundreds of thousands of people in their love lives. I'm not talking YouTube. If it was YouTube, I'd be saying millions, but literally in their love lives. Real people, real coaching. I've worked with hundreds of thousands of people because coaching is my day job, not YouTube. And I've seen the same breakthroughs happen again and again. And what they show me again and again are the invisible patterns that people don't see that are hurting them when they're too close to their own story. I want to share one of these stories with you because it captures what a single year can do for your love life if you actually commit to making this your year of love in the ways that we're talking about. This is a story from someone named Ariel. My team sent me this. It was so, so beautiful. It's the perfect example of how your past does not need to equal your future. She said, I found myself navigating endless dating. Who here relates to endless dating? She said, I found myself navigating endless dating and at times, some truly discouraging experiences. I entered. I encountered anxious and avoidant push pull dynamics. I was ghosted more times than I can count. I had one particular experience that left me questioning my self worth and wondering if I was truly unlovable or too much. There's that phrase again, everybody. As I have been told before, those moments were painful and humbling. But she goes on to say, even through the tears, I chose to keep moving forward. And then the most amazing man walked into my life. He makes me feel deeply loved, supported, and never once like I am too much. I'm smiling as I write this because just this morning I really loved this part, she said. After a 12 hour night shift, he brought me coffee before I went to work, simply so he could see me even for a moment. We're traveling to Hawaii at the beginning of the year and I am so excited to welcome the new year. With him by my side. It feels especially meaningful knowing that last New Year's Eve I was crying on my best friend's couch with a broken heart. The contrast within a single year is something I don't take lightly. Now look, guys, this is the same person, same world, same dating landscape, completely different reality. What would it mean to you if you could change your reality in this area that much in a single year by the end of 2026, if you could do that, what would it be worth to you on a personal level? Or what would it feel like to no longer be overthinking every interaction or guessing where you stand with someone, or bracing yourself for some disappointment? Because that's what so many of us do, isn't it? We're constantly flinching, worrying something bad's going to happen where you weren't hoping things were going to be different because they actually were different. You felt chosen, you felt emotionally safe with someone. Love felt steady instead of confusing, instead of feeling draining. It felt like home. That's the difference between being a passenger in our love life and being the driver. Now, I have a question for you. As I said, everyone's been wonderful at vulnerability today, so let's see how we do with this. If you took a guess at it and you were being very, very honest with yourself, what do you think would need to change in your life right now in 2026 for a story like Ariel's to happen to you now, you might say, well, for that, I'd have to figure out a better way to create opportunities because I can't even seem to meet anyone, let alone someone I like. Or I'd need to learn how to apply the attraction formula so that my messages with people actually turned into dates, or so that, you know, a first meeting actually turned into date two and three and four. Or I'd need to learn how to manage my emotions differently because they keep hijacking me in dating and then I obsess when I like them someone. So I'd need a different level of certainty in myself. I'd need to learn how to own myself. What is it for you Is it something I haven't mentioned? Leave me a comment. And while we know some things that we need to do, we won't know everything we need to do. But we might know some things we need to do. The truth is, knowing how to do them is a different story. I don't know about you, but when I hear a story like Ariel's, as I get as frustrated as I do. Inspired. Inspired because it shows what's possible, and we all love that. But frustrated because I want to say, and probably you were having this thought, too, okay, but what the hell did Ariel actually do in that year that made her love life change so dramatically? Who? Here, raise your hand. Say me in the comments if you have that question. Like, what the did Ariel do? Because I need to do that myself. Okay, A lot of you. So look, let me tell you the good news. In Ariel's case, I happen to know exactly what she did, because I was there. I spent last year working with Ariel and a whole bunch of people like her specifically for the purposes of getting them to a completely different place in their love lives by December. If you want, I will show you exactly what we did together that made all of the difference. How does that sound? Okay, well, then, look, let me walk you through it. Then. We're going to get to secret number four, the power of influence, which is going to be a really, really powerful finish to today. And I'm going to finish finish with an exercise that is going to have everyone in here leave in a gorgeous state. And with your permission, I even want to extend you a special invite just for the people in this room today where this very big room that we have all over the world. Would that be okay? Let's finish strong today. Okay? Amazing. Okay, a lot of comments. Look, you are going to be very, very happy that you chose to show up live today. And I'm excited to show you what Ariel did, because in truth, by doing so, I'm showing you my life's work. I'm showing you what I've spent my entire life mastering, which is how to help people raise their standards in love, find their person way faster than they would on their own, and how to tap into a confidence that they never knew they had available to them. Ariel, like so many others, last year was part of my love life coaching program. Now, this is the only place in the world that I work with people as their coach, and I take them through a process that I've designed over nearly two decades of transforming people's love lives. Doesn't matter what Their starting point is, by the way, I've done this with over 200,000 people in this process, and Ariel Story is one of many. I say it for illustration. If you're a member of Love Life, by the way, who took the time out to be with us today, generously leave a comment. I love hearing from you guys. What I do for people in Love Life has worked for so many people because there is a proven system that we take every single member through. All right, you may want to write this down. First, we identify and meet you where you're at. So maybe it's coming off of the worst heartbreak of your life, or it's you're single and you've tried everything, or you're in the middle of dealing with someone who is showing you mixed signals and you don't know what to do about it. When we know where you are, we can then customize the experience to exactly what you're going through right now and give you a clear path. So that's step one. The second thing we do is we give you the exact tools for your situation, the things you need right now, so that you can make the internal shifts that you need to make. Because when I said, you know, how many of you have got an internal pattern that's affecting you, almost all of you said something. So we can manage the internal shifts we need to make and the external shifts that are going to start getting us results. Third, me and my team then actually walk the path alongside you every step of the way so that then if you have questions, if you hit obstacles, we're there to help you overcome them. And lastly, and this is really important for all of you, we surround you with other people who are starting the same journey at the same time so that you have momentum from other people who get it. I have spent many years building this process. In many ways, it has been my life's work. I have refined it nonstop based on what works and what doesn't. And that's why it gets people to the right relationship years sooner than they would on their own. And by the way, the hard truth, and this is the tragedy that we know not just, you know, from our imagination, we know people in our lives like this many people never get there on their own. There are many people who get to the end of their lives having never found what they looked for in this area. So let me ask you a question. It is amazing. I'm so enjoying reading the comments. It's so. The energy in this room is powerful. It's gorgeous. You're all I. I love showing up for you. You're all being so generous to me with your energy in the comments. I'm having the best time. But if there was an opportunity to go beyond today and be part of a process like this with me, yourself, how many of you would be game to give that a shot so that you could actually see what was possible for you by December of 26? There's no pressure here, by the way. I just want to know who in this room would actually be game for learning and letting me share with you a new approach. David, let's pull up the comments. I just want to see everyone right now. Chubby says Love Life Club representing here. Okay? There's tons of you. Monica, Sally, Mia, Kerry. Okay, so set aside anything in your mind that's telling you why you can't right now. Let me for a moment just show you what a year in your life would look like for you on a practical level if you did that and even for the rest of you. By the way, what I'm about to say is going to give you an interesting insight into what people like Ariel did over a year with me. First, you get the keys to my entire course library for any and every stage of relationships. So this is a course on how to get off the sidelines and meet great people in 2026. A course on how to break the cycle of casual situationships and get commitment from someone you're seeing even if they're dragging their feet. And by the way, there is a recipe for getting someone out of their own way. I will show it to you. I know this to be true because Audrey did it with me. There's a course on how to get the attraction back even when you've lost it. How to manage anxious attachment and overthinking in dating. How to regulate your emotions so that you don't get too invested too quickly when you do find a special connection. This year, how to heal from an excruciating breakup. I saw so many of you are going through a terrible breakup right now. How you heal from that and how do you move on from chronic heartbreak? Because there's acute heartbreak and chronic heartbreak. Chronic is when it's years on and you still can't get over someone. We have a whole course on that. We have a course on rebuilding your confidence. How to heal and leave a toxic or a narcissistic relationship or how to heal from, I should say a narcissistic relationship. What to do if you're newly single in a later stage of life. How many people here are newly single now in a stage of life where you never thought you'd be single? We even have a roadmap for dating over 50, so that for those of you who want that nuance, you can get that. The beautiful thing about this library is that it's designed to cover you at every stage of love and dating. It's not just about getting the answer you need today, but the ones you're going to need tomorrow as you progress. Because as you progress, you'll have new questions, right? No matter. No matter what you're going through right now. We've not only seen it, but spent many, many hours building structured trainings around how to get you through it. Now, let me tell you the terrifying thing about these programs. They work. And when they work, things are actually going to start moving forward in your love life. You might have a person to deal with, maybe a person you like, and then you're going to have more questions. So this is why this next part is so crucial. You get me alongside the course library. You get me personally coaching you live every month over the entire year, guiding you through every step. And not just me, by the way, you get two of my most senior coaches. Stephen Hussey, who co wrote my first book with me, and my wife, Audrey Hussey, who is one of the most talented communicators I have ever met. So between the three of us, it amounts to almost weekly coaching. 18 years of doing this, I've been coaching a long time, has shown me that people need more than epiphanies. We need practices, someone that regularly centers us. Because, my friends, this is not about how smart you are. Please understand, the smartest people in the world get in their own way when it comes to their happiness every single day. That's why the right coach can mean the difference between something working out in our love life and us sabotaging it. So if you want me to be that person in your love life, the Love Life coaching program is the only place that I do it for people. Okay, so now you're thinking, perfect, but what about when it's 2am and we're not on a live coaching session? Matthew, and I'm struggling with something and I'm panicked. This is about creating inevitability. That's why I wanted. Guys, this is what I want to do for everyone in 2026. I want to create inevitability. I want to make it like as close to guaranteeing you get a relationship this year as I possibly can. So for those moments we have what I think of as the cavalry and the cavalry's name is Matthew AI and he has been blowing people's minds. People who are part of the love life coaching group. They get unlimited 24. 7 access to Matthew AI, which is my second brain and everyone else's dedicated coach. It is like having me in your pocket. You can call or text Matthew AI anytime, day or night and it will give you my answer to your question. We just had, I don't know if you any Wall Street Journal readers out there. Last week the Wall Street Journal published a major piece on it our members consistently say is one of the most valuable tools they have ever had for their growth. How many people again, just shout out are using Matthew AI right now or have tried it? So Matthew AI does what I can't, which is give unlimited one on one coaching to every single one of our members. Just in the last 12 months, Matthew AI has delivered 250,000 hours of personalized coaching, which is the equivalent of me talking Nonstop for over 24 years. And lastly, you get our second secret weapon next to Matthew AI, which is the largest community in the world of people actively on the path to finding love. So for many of us, how many of you, be honest, how many of you have too many married friends or you have so many, you have your only single friends are very negative about dating or your friends are in the middle of having kids so they're not really available or you just are around too many people with too many negative stories around dating. David, let's, let's pull those up for a second. Yeah. So Valerie says no single friends. Cherry, me, Kim, me. Okay. So in love life you get around people who have the same goals as you and are telling better stories. Some of them have the same starting point as you, some of them are already making progress in ways that will help you illuminate the path ahead for you. But no matter what, it's a camaraderie that changes the game. There are beautiful friendships that form. We even meet in person several times a year. I'm there, Audrey's there, Steven's there. And these are events that no one else gets a ticket to except my love life members. So. And if you're one of our community, our love life community is here right now. Give some love to the people in the comments. By the way, for all of my guys watching this, we have plenty of men inside of the program too. So I don't want you thinking this is just for women. This is for everybody. I'm going to get to secret number four. But before I do, I want everyone to understand who's watching this right now. These years that we have right now, they are precious. And I wish for you to get to the end of this year feeling like you had a wonderful year. Not feeling like it was another year that was lost to distraction or a kind of life that didn't bring you joy, or just a year where you didn't move forward in what you've defined as one of the most important areas of your life. Our stories don't evolve by accident. They evolve because we make a different decision. We try a new approach. So this is me officially, personally inviting you to do that for yourself this year. If you're still with me right now. I believe that there is a deeper knowing inside of you that more is available to me. Or at the very least, you don't want to look back years from now and have this regret and wonder what could have been in this area of your life. Who feels that. Just that feeling of, I don't want to leave anything on the table. If that's true for you, then let me tell you something. My mission today is simple. If you want to work with me to do this, I am committed to working with you. Inside the Love Life program, there are $16,000 worth of programs. Live coaching, access to Matthew AI, all of it. It's big. A single course in there, of the many I mentioned, is $300 on its own, and there are tens of them. But my goal in recent years has been to make this possible for anyone who actually needs it. So we didn't make this a $16,000 process. We made it an $840 process for the entire year to get everything I've spoken about, the courses, the year of live coaching, unlimited access to Matthew AI, the community, the live events, everything. But like I said, if you are committed to yourself today, for 2026, I am committed to you. And I don't want you to have a reason not to do this today. I've worked very hard on putting this together for you. So for those of you who want to join us for 2026, I'm taking 50% off that regular $840 price and making it an upfront fee of $397 for the year, which is, by the way, equivalent to $33 a month. For most of us, that's less than the price of an UberEats delivery to our house. We can only offer this discount for people who commit for the year, by the way. But the Truth is that's the way the program was designed. It's not about over promising there. If you want to go find someone who will over promise what you can do in 30 days, you'll find them. I'm not promising what's going to happen in 30 days. I'm showing, I'm saying let me show you how unrecognizable your life can be by December of this year. And by the way, if you want to know how much you're getting for this, Matthew AI on its own is worth more for the year than the price of than the price of everything that you're getting today inside Love Life, including Matthew AI when you join today for 397. So there will not be a better day to join this year. Simple question, who here is game and wants to do this with me? If you do, leave a comment saying in, I want to know who my people are. Don't worry, I'm taking all of you to see secret number four now. But if you're in, if you want to do this with me, leave a comment that says in because I want to see you out there. And for everyone who is typing in right now, go to joinlovelife.com and grab your place. Joinlovelife.com is that link Binky the super kevster, Pilar mode, Sila Wolf. Amazing. Kim says already signed up. So that link for those of you who are going there now is joinlovelife.com and I see there's a lot of you. So if for any reason the page crashes, refresh that page. Join lovelife.com and before we get to secret number four, I apologize. I'm just, I'm very passionate about this. I want to tell you one more cool thing for anyone typing in right now. I see all of you. I am adding in two things that I am extremely excited about to kick off the year and I'm adding these in for free so there's no extra cost for these. The first thing is called the Modern Dating playbook. This is a 60 day roadmap that we're beginning this Monday designed to give you everything you need to navigate modern dating. So if you're struggling with modern dating, this is for you on Monday. Starting Monday, you're going to get a mission from me every week for your love life so that you're not guessing about how to be proactive and make progress. You're going to get in depth masterclasses where we go deep into the topics we've covered today. You're Going to get the Attraction Formula Masterclass, an entire masterclass on the Flame Method, how to decipher and deal with mixed signals. You're going to get a dedicated community space just for everyone who joins today. So we're all going to go through it together as one cohort, starting at the same time, which is where so much of that camaraderie comes from. And in the modern dating playbook, we even have an in case of emergency break glass section, so that when you run into red flags or someone pulls away or if you're anxiously spiraling, you know what to do. And then we also have a section for anyone who is dating later in life. For anyone who is struggling with the way dating is today or is just fucking over the dating apps, this journey begins Monday. It's 60 days to kick us off for the year. So you got to be on the train. It's happening in just a couple of days, the last thing. And again, this is totally on me. For anyone who joins by the end of today, and I have wanted to do this for a while, I am doing something that I am calling the 2026 Love Life Planning Workshop. This is for anyone who wants to see what the Flame Method looks like when it's specifically implemented for their year. So what we're going to do, this is going to be fun. We're going to sit down with our notebooks, our calendars, our highlighters, and we are going to design your year. We're going to look at everything. Your time, your work, your friendships, your energy, your habits, where to go, what to do, all of it. I want you to have, like, here's what I want for your 2026. I want you to have an extraordinary year, full of joy, but you're having so much fun and such a good time. As a byproduct, that year gets you the relationship. And we are going to build a year that works for you. So if you're an introvert, the plan is going to look different than if you're an extrovert. If you're super busy, it's going to look different than if you have a lot of time. It's got to be sustainable. It's got to work for your life and your energy. And since it's already January 21st now, I think this is happening very, very quickly. It's happening once it's happening live, and it's happening on Saturday, the 24th, so this Saturday. And if you can't make it live, you're still going to get lifetime access to the Recording, so don't worry. But I couldn't wait any longer. I don't want to get past January and doing this because it's about designing your year. So this Saturday will design your 2026 calendar. And then on Monday, you'll get your first mission from me in the Modern Dating playbook. That's going to kick off the next 60 days and I don't want to overwhelm anyone. So if you'd like, if you enjoy doing things on your own time and you're busy or whatever, you can do that. Everything's going to be recorded. Even our live sessions will be recorded. You can come back to them anytime. All inside the Love Life app that's going to be on your phone for whenever you need it. So real quick in case you missed anything when you join Love Life, but you can do that by going to joinlovelife.com you're going to get access to the entire Love Life coaching program for the year, the 60 day modern dating playbook for free starting Monday. And my session this Saturday, which is exclusive for Love Life members, which is the Love Life planning workshop. And you'll get the recording as well, because I know it's short notice. If you can't make it on Saturday, we'll get you the recording. I promise you. What you'll know is that when you join us to do this, when you join me to do this, you're not leaving anything to chance in your love life this year. I have tried my best. I've been doing this for a very long time. I know how much my work changes people's lives. But I can't say yes for people. They have to say yes for themselves. All I can do is try to make it as easy as possible for you to get on board. Because the truth is, if you're still here with me, listening to my voice an hour and 30 minutes in, you're right for this. And what I love is that this is not an investment in another person. It's an investment in you. It just so happens that this investment in you is what's going to bring that person into your life. Because it changes your energy. It changes the way you show up. Listen to this. This is Christie. She sent us this note. She said before joining the program I was very disappointed with men and had sworn off dating. But the program taught me how to strengthen myself with confidence and techniques on dating. Now listen to this part. She says for some reason. I know the reason, by the way, but she said for some reason, this aura must have shown without me even knowing because I met some someone. We have been dating for over two years. He adores me and I can feel it anytime I feel insecure. I would go back to my notes or ask Matthew AI and I would get my confidence back in the snap of a finger. Matthew and his whole team are a godsend. To all of those who are hesitant, I can confidently tell you this program will change your life. Most people live and die being controlled by their past but we don't have to and it is never too late to experience a different life with new possibilities. You have already come this far in life and as my friend Jesse Itzler loves to say we didn't come this far to only come this far. The link to join us is joinlovelife.com and like I said if you join during the session you'll get the entire program plus the two bonuses. We are going to take a very short three minute break for everyone who is joining to get on board and then we're going to go straight to secret number four and I'm going to finish with an experiential exercise that is going to leave you in a beautiful and empowered state for when you leave here today. In the meantime during the break I'm going to leave the comments up. Leave me a comment saying joined. Write the word joined once you've secured your spot or write it now if you already have secured your spot and let me know that you've signed up. I want to give a shout out to my new members for the year. I will see you in just three minutes. Guys. It. Sam. Welcome back everybody. As we move to secret number four. Let's get started. Grab your pen, grab your notepad. Again you are going to love the finish to today. David, pull up the comments for me real quick. Leave me a comment saying joined so I know that you're out there and I know who's joined. Even if you wrote it already write it again so I know who you are. Just write the word join so I know who's joining us. Thank you so much for everyone who's made it to this point. Really, really honored that you would spend your time with me today. Valerie. Thank you Susan. We'll have an amazing year together. Dottie, Maria, Steve, welcome. GeForce 94 got Grace, Kim, we got K. Sarsfield in Louisiana has joined, Jennifer's joined. Lena, Cherry, Amanda, San Sandra. Incredible. Wolves and lions says it's really worth it. Thank you Wolves and lions. I appreciate you spreading the message. Olga's joining. Incredible. Yes. And this is for everything over the entire year. For those of you just asking, amazing. All right, well, keep them coming so I can see you. David, let's leave the comments up now. I want to just see. Feel free and no, Joey, you are absolute, absolutely not the only man here. If you're a guy who's joined, put joined and let people know. I'm a guy and I've joined. And by the way, there's plenty of guys, Joey, already inside of love life too, so you're in very good company. Beautiful. Well, look, let's get to secret number four. Secret number one was overcome the investment gap by learning deep and lasting attraction. And the way we do that is by having an understanding of how to apply the attraction formula. The second secret to finding love this year is to apply the flame method to the way we design our year. By the way, Saturday is going to be a game changer for that, for everyone who's joining. Third, we have to learn how to own ourselves. By the way, for everyone asking, how do I own myself? That's the deeper work that we're going to be doing inside of love life this year. It's not just about strategies and, you know, what we can go out there and do. It's about the healing work. It's about the deeper work to change our patterns, patterns that have been with us a lifetime. And then lastly, step four, we have to develop the power of influence. We don't want to be someone who simply has, you know, our own culture and feels like, you know, we're never making an impact on the world. What we want to be is amazing persuaders, powerful magnets that draw other people to our way of thinking and to the kind of depth of that we love in relationships and the kind of connection that we're seeking. And they see that and they go, I want to be a part of this. So part of the power of influence is to realize that there are key moments when we're dating someone where we have. They're almost like their cues. It's like there's a cue. Here's your moment, and you're either going to use that moment to have influence or you're going to use that moment to bend to somebody else's culture. I'm going to tell you an example right now that's a little bit personal. It doesn't paint me in the best light, but I'm trying to be helpful. I'm not trying to sound good. It paints Audrey in an amazing light. But it was an example from early in our Relationship. We were on date number four. And essentially we had had three great dates. I was back home for the holidays in London. I was living in LA at the time. And we'd had three great dates over, you know, short number of weeks, maybe a couple of weeks even. And then it was date four. And I was. That night, the night we were supposed to see each other. For date number four, I was in a theater on the West End in London seeing White Christmas with my family, the stage show. It's very romantic, pretty winter's evening. We left the show. I'm about to leave my family and we start texting me and Audrey and we say, hey, we still on for tonight? Yes. Great. Want to see each other? Amazing. I said, I'm over in the West End. Do you want to come over this way? Now, she lived in angel, and for the past three dates she had come to me where I was in my part of town. I wasn't living in London, but wherever I was, Audrey came to that part of town because it was busy. I was back home, I was seeing family. She was very, very gracious. However, date number four, that graciousness had its limits. And when I said, I'm in the West End, can you come this direction? I'll tell you what she said. Now, before I tell you what she said, let me tell you what would be some not so great responses. And by the way, these are all moments where you get to show that upholding your own standards, what's right for you, is more important to you than seeing somebody. Even if, you know you'd have a good time. Sometimes we have to accept that if I want to be respected, I might have to forego being liked. I might have to ruffle some feathers. Let me give you some not so great examples. If Audrey had done them, one of them would be, and this is extremely common in dating, if someone said, if I said, can you come to the West End? And they said, okay, I'll come to you. Okay, I'll come to you. Now, if she had said that, it would have simply been passive. Wouldn't. Would have been passive. She wouldn't have been communicating the fact that she felt like it was, you know, really unfair that I was asking her to come to me for the fourth time. It just would have been the fawn response, right? The people pleasing response. But what if she said this? I'm too tired to come over there tonight. Have a great night. I'm too tired to come over there tonight. Have a great night. Now, on one hand, you might Say, okay, that's kind of good. She didn't do something she didn't want to do, but she shut it down in an avoidant way. If she had done that, she didn't do that. But if she had done that, that would have been passive aggressive, right? So we don't want to do that. Now, what if she did this one? This isn't good either. She said, I'm upset with you that you won't come my way when I've been to you twice now. I'm upset with you that you won't come my way when I've been to you twice now. Now, the problem with that one is that she would have been giving up her power. So she would have been showing that I'd massively affected her at a time when I shouldn't have that much influence over her emotions in that way. So there's passive response, passive aggressive response, and the response that just gives up your power all bad. So what would be an example of the power of influence? Well, let me give you one possible example. This isn't what Audrey said, but this is what she could have said. I don't think I have the energy to come that way tonight, but it's okay. We can do another night. And maybe she puts an exclamation mark at the end there to show that, hey, I'm not phased by this. It's all good. I don't have the energy to come that way tonight, but let's do another night. Now, the pro is that that makes it clear it's not going to happen because I wouldn't come to her. But it also keeps it warm, right? It keeps the interaction warm while clearly drawing a boundary. But the con is that she hasn't really communicated why she's saying no in. In the way, you know, like she said, I'm tired. But in a way that's a little bit of a. An excuse because the reality is, internally, what she wants to say is, I, I don't feel like I should have to come see you again. But she hasn't said that. So it's better. There's still a level of influence there because she's not gone against her what she's wanted to do. She's done it in a warm way that's still very positive, but there's a level better. And a level better is what Audrey did. Because here's what she said. She said, I said, can you come over this way to the West End? And she said she was living in angel at the time in London. She said, pretty sure it's your turn to come see me. Smiley face. There's a bar near me. I'm excited to show you. Now, that is a beautiful message because on one hand she said, I'm pretty sure it's your turn to come see me. Smiley face. So she's like, here's my standard, here's my boundary. But with the wink, right? Like, people underestimate the value of playfulness and humor in. In speaking our boundaries or our standards. Too many people take a short piece of advice I've said on a clip on YouTube or Instagram, and they think, yeah, I'm going to have standards. And then they go around just cutting people down everywhere they go and wondering why they don't get attraction. What Audrey is doing there is. She's telling me no, but she's doing it in a way that's very attractive. Pretty sure it's your turn to come see me. There's a bar near me. I'm excited to show you. So now it goes really positive. There's a bar near me. I'm excited to show you. That's. I now I'm like, oh, there's a Barney. This is exciting, right? So she's turned it into a plus now, by the way, I. This is. Again, this doesn't make me look great, but whatever. I then said, are you sure you can't come this way? I'm with my family. I'm trying to, you know, like, it would be helpful. And when I said that, she just took it away. She said, it's all good. We can do another night. That's the point where she said, that's the point where she took it away. So she didn't take it away from a passive aggressive or an angry place. She gave me the option. Pretty sure she gave me the benefit of communicating with me. What exactly what she meant. She said exactly what she meant, but in a very good way, with a smiley face. Pretty sure it's your turn to come see me. She made it positive. I then didn't, you know, go along with that. And at that point, she said, oh, it's okay. We can do another night. No worries. Now, me and Audrey joke about this to this day because she's like you at the time in your life. You were so used to having your favorite. She said your favorite was that I kept coming, coming out of my way to come and see you because it was convenient for you and you were so used to getting your favorite in life. But she came along and said, here's what I would like to do. And I'm not shifting from that. I'm being very polite, smiley, happy, sexy. But I'm not shifting from that. Right. Beautiful. Now, if we wanted to go, like, I was just having fun with this when I created this session for you guys, I was like, would there be any other way that I would tweak that? And I was like, no. Firstly, what Audrey did was pitch perfect. But if I wanted to add one more thing, I might say, we can do another night is totally fine. At that point where I said, can you come over this way? Are you sure? She could have said, we can do another night is totally fine, but you'd be missing out on a great mojito and a very pretty outfit right now. At that point, she's saying, it's fine. She's already taken it off the table. Like, it's fine. We could do another night. It's all good. But you'd be missing out on a great mojito and a very pretty outfit. Now, you don't have to do that, but the point is, there is something about that that is sexy, sassy. It's her owning herself and her value. How gorgeous she is, how much she backs herself. She's showing, like that Ed Mylett thing of. I. I don't need to convince you that what I have is valuable. I'm showing you that I believe it's valuable. That's irresistible, that is undeniable. And Ms. P0807 who says lazy. Matthew, am I lazy because. Look at me now. Look at me now. I tell you, there's nothing lazy about the last seven weeks of my life with this baby. This is Audrey's like, this is the bliss point. The bliss point of communication, of attraction. The bliss point is there's a food industry term called the bliss point, where food manufacturers, they create the optimal level of salty and sweet in a food that just keeps you wanting more. It's called the bliss point in food manufacturing. Well, this is the bliss point of attraction. I don't just leave you with a no. I leave you wanting to say yes. I don't just leave you with a no. I leave you wanting to say yes. My friends, if you learn how to do this, you won't just be someone who's hoping that your love life works out. You're going to be someone who's in control of your love life working out. Because you'll realize life is not just about walking outside and going, who's attracted to me? It's realizing that we actually have so much more leverage over creating attraction than we ever realized before. And by learning those things, we can open up the world to us in terms of what's possible. I want to finish with an exercise I promised you we would finish in a really empowering way. Let's do that. You won't need your pens and paper for this, just a quiet environment. If you're not in a room where you can be by yourself right now, go find a room where you can put your headphones on and be by yourself. Maybe you want to lay down, Maybe you want to sit in your chair and close your eyes, but just be somewhere where you can just be. You may want to close your eyes for this exercise. You can keep them open if you like, but really, I want you to get rid of all the distractions as we do this. So I'll count down from 10, and when we get to 0, we'll begin. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1. Thank you firstly for being here. What an amazing gift you gave yourself today. I like to think that each of us were born with a light inside of us. A pure light that from the beginning allowed you to perceive things as new and beautiful and fascinating. A light that brought to life the magic in the world. A light that allowed you to bring your beauty into the world by being unashamedly you. A light untouched by tragedy and grief, grief and heartbreak. Or by the comments of other people who put ideas in your head about what you couldn't do or what you weren't worthy of. A light that had not been dimmed by thoughts of inadequacy and self doubt. As we go through life, these challenges from within and from without cast shadows in our world. But if we can resist these shadows, that light remains our superpower. You already have it. It's not something anyone has to give you. It's not something you have to learn the secret to. Your only job is to be brave enough to hold on to it. To remember who you truly are underneath your pain. And perhaps to encourage it to shine a little more brightly each day. And this is important because that light isn't just your superpower. It's your beacon. It's the signal you beam out to see so that people know where to find you. Because somewhere out there on that vast ocean is a ship crashing through the waves, looking for that light, doing its best to find its way to you. Somewhere out there, there is someone who is looking for you. I want you to picture for a moment this special someone. The person you have wanted to meet all your life. Your person. The one with whom you're going to create the relationship you have always wanted. More than a dream relationship. More than something that can simply be conjured up sentimentally by books and movies or the ideas of friends and family about who you should be with and what you deserve. The kind of love only you and this one special person could designed together. A secret world only you two could inhabit. This person is out there right now. As we sit in this room. I wonder what they're doing. Maybe they're doing their laundry. Maybe they're spending time with people they love. Maybe right now they're working up the courage to let go of the wrong love. Maybe they're thinking about you. What I know is that this person needs your help to find you. They need you to be out there in the world where they can see you smiling. So that they know they can approach you. Open and vulnerable. So that they know they can be open and vulnerable with you. And most of all, happy. Happy. So that they can see just how beautiful your light really is. That is the greatest gift that you can give to that person that is coming for you. It's the beautiful act of service you get to do for them before they arrive. To make your light bigger, brighter. Brighter than the darkness created by people who haven't treated you right. Brighter than the black cloud that was left by the person. Person who didn't deserve you. More powerful than any heartbreak you felt. Stronger than any insecurity that was ever put in your head by someone who is never supposed to play a leading role in your life. Because this special person, that ship out there on the ocean, it doesn't need you to chase. Doesn't need you to set sail out to sea and make it your light mission to find. Just needs you to do this one favor, this one brave act of service that you let your light shine so brightly in every direction that no matter where it is on the water, this ship will see that light and know which way is home. Wait for that person to come along and make you feel special before you turn on that light that's living life backwards. The light comes first. It's not just something that's turned on by love. It's what enables love to find you. And we are capable of accessing that light simply by appreciating what is beautiful about our lives now, right now, even in this very moment, long before we found that special someone. Because with or without them, life is beautiful. Its beauty lies in the places we travel to. The Lessons we learn, the struggles we face. The moments of love between family, friends, even strangers. And the simple gifts of life that are there for us to notice every day if we only pay attention. And of course, its beauty isn't just in these things that we look to on the outside of us. It's in us. We have the power to create it. Unlike trees that need external light to grow, we have the power to create our own light. My friends, life's truly special people are not merely seekers of light. They are sources of light. And there are people in our lives who need our light. In a world where pain and loneliness are more common than our perfectly curated profiles would ever lead us to believe, and where true kindness means more to others than we will ever truly know, there are people around us who need our light. Our family. Our friends. The stranger in the street. And of course, that ship out there. Make no mistake. The most romantic thing you can possibly do for your future partner is to make yourself happy today, before you ever meet them. Instead of waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, be the light inside of the tunnel. Because life is the tunnel. There's no way to fake that light. It comes from the deepest parts of your nature. Your kindness. Your generosity. Your vulnerability. Your soul. Look, you're already beautiful. You just have to make yourself easy to see in the dark. So I ask of you this one favor. Not for me, and not even just for you, but for everyone in your life and for that special person that is coming for you. That when you leave here today, you shine your light so brightly that it can be seen from space. I would like to thank all of you for being a source of light in my life today and for being here with your precious, precious time. 5, 4, 3, 2. And come back to the room. As you leave this session, I want you all to remember, every time you choose yourself, you are teaching the world how to treat you. And every time you choose to do something different, you are opening the door to opportunities you've never had. I promise you. Because I have seen it over and over. And I know so much more is possible than we can accurately predict from where we stand right now. There's so much available that we can't see right now. And when we change our approach to all of this, doors begin to open that never appeared before. Remember, we didn't come this far to only come this far. And to rebel against our programming the life we've had. And to choose a different experience of life than. Than the one we were taught, the one we've experienced so far. That is a miracle. But achieving it isn't a miracle. It's a choice. And it's in your hands. It's a choice we get to make. If you just came here today and this was enough for you, then thank you. And I'm so happy you joined us and I'm truly grateful for for your time. To me it's our two most precious things in life are our relationships and our time. I appreciate this time to get to build more of a relationship with so many of you who maybe didn't know me as well before this time today. And more than anything, I appreciate your time. For those of you who are joining us this year inside the Love Life coaching program, I'm excited for you to see all of the courses we have for you. I'm excited to be with you every month coaching you live. I'm excited to answer your questions. I'm excited for you to try Matthew AI, for you to be part of this gorgeous community we have and to even meet you at our live events this year. Of course I will see you on Saturday for our planning session where we get out our calendars. I'll be with you on Monday to kick off the 60 day modern dating playbook process and keep leaving me comments saying joined if you have and if you are right now because I'd love to hear from you. For anyone who is still looking for that link, it's joinlovelife.com I sincerely, really, really hope that we get to do this journey and this process together this year. By the way, you can scroll to the bottom of the page to claim your bonus. For everyone who's here live, I wanted to put together a free gift for everyone whether you join me for Love Life or not. It's a PDF guide called the 2026 Standards Toolkit. It's a great little guide and it's a free gift from me just to say thank you for spending this time with me. My VIPs. I know we have a whole bunch of VIP ticket holders here. I will see you in 30 minutes. The link for that session is in your emails. So check your emails and I'll see you in 30 minutes. And for everyone here, just thank you so, so much for joining me. It's an extraordinary pleasure and I can't wait till the next time we meet again. Nora, Anna, Jenny, Sharla, Sean, Ivanad, all of you, thank you so much for joining me and have a wonderful day. I'll see you soon. Bye guys. Sam, It.