If You Hear This From Someone, They’re a Cheater...

Have you ever wondered, or are you wondering right now, if someone is cheating on you? Experts say that there are specific phrases that you need to look out for that allow you to detect whether someone is cheating or is about to cheat. And we are going to go through them today. These phrases were collected in an article on Best of Life Online from therapists and experts all over the world. I am going to go through these phrases and see if I agree that they are signs of a cheater. And at the end of each one, I will declare whether I think they are a cheater or a cheadle. Because when I thought about what rhymes with cheetah but suggests the opposite, the first thing that came into my mind was Don Cheadle, which doesn't rhyme with cheetah and has nothing to do with it, but somehow it just felt right. So then I went to ChatGPT and I asked, has Don Cheadle ever cheated? Because that would be a sort of strange contradiction if he had. And chatgpt says there's absolutely no evidence or reports that Don Cheadle has ever cheated. His public image, backed by Wikipedia highlights a long term stable relationship. Cheadle is also known for his charitable, humanitarian and family focused pursuits. He's perfect. So let's play Cheetah or Cheadle. We're just. We're just friends. I don't even find them attractive. I always find the second part of that sentence sort of funny because the implication is that, that the only thing keeping me from doing something in this scenario is this person's looks. The thing that has to keep a relationship strong is your partner's standards, not the aesthetics of the person that they hang out with a lot. So I don't think this necessarily means someone's cheating. I think that people can get quickly defensive and think that the best place they can go when they're being defensive is just to state that never in a million years would they be attracted to that person. And we should probably say more often to our partners, we're just friends. And I would never do that to you because that's not something I would. I have a higher standard than that for loyalty. I would never, ever betray you in that way. That is not in my nature and it's below my standard for the relationship I want to have, regardless of how attractive anyone I ever hang out with is. So what do we say to that one? I'm gonna. I'm gonna say Cheadle. No, I think it's cheater. I don't. You think it's cheater. I think part of the game you have to put your foot down. All right, fine. David has. David has just instructed me that I'm not allowed to sort of equivocate. I have to choose one, which is really difficult. But if that's true, this may sound controversial, I'm gonna go Cheadle. But you need to watch that relationship over time. Sorry I haven't texted today. Work was really busy. Your partner used to text you here and there throughout the day, but now they're using too much work as an excuse to be mia. I think the important part of that is the change in consistency, that there was a rhythm to the thing that they were doing and now they don't do it at all. If you're in a long term relationship and somewhere in there a rhythm that you've had for a long time just switches and now they start using work as an excuse, something has changed and it's worth communicating about what that is. If they can't be articulate about what that is, that's made it change. And it's not just, I'm really busy at work because you were busy at work two years ago when you were texting me, then there's something to be cautious of. So I'm going to say cheater. 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You can register for free by going to mhchallenge.com and like I've said before, this challenge begs one simple question. What could you be capable of and who could you be if you took your foot off the brakes in your life? Come join us by going to mhchallenge.com sign up and I will see you for the kickoff call on July 15th, where I'm going to be giving you the five missions we're going to be doing together over the next 30 days. I will see you there. Back to the video. This one. This might be my favorite. From a comical standpoint, I don't think I'd consider that cheating, per se. If they say per se in the same sentence as the word cheating, they're cheating. So there's no. There is no world, I'll tell you this, in which Don Cheadle would say, I don't think I'd consider that cheating per se. Cheetah. I don't know why this article is becoming unintentionally funny, but that you'll get it when you hear it. This one is can you hold me? What could sound like a more innocuous phrase than can you hold me? Look, the issue with this one is that it sounds fine if. What's wrong with saying to your partner, can you hold me? Are we really going to go around in life now going, everyone who says, can you hold me? Is you're being unfaithful? But I also understand if someone who never says anything like that, especially if a guy who never, never uses language like that, suddenly comes home and says, can you hold me? That might raise some suspicion. And also I think a big caveat to this is if when you do hold them, they get upset and they can't articulate why they're upset. If they say, I'm sad, and you go, what's going on? And you go, I don't know. It's just my, you know, this thing that's going on with my brother, or this thing that's going on with my mum, or, you know, that's different. But if you hold them and then they. You say, what's. And they go, I don't know. I don't know. It's like, wait, why aren't they saying what's wrong? It probably means that they have a guilty conscience that you. They want you to make them feel better. They want you to tell them you're good, you're all right, you're a lovely person, you're an amazing human being. But they can't tell you the thing that they feel upset about. So they're almost looking for kind of forgiveness without telling you what they need to be forgiven for. Cheetah. Maybe Cheetah David makes me put my foot down on these. Cheetah. None of these should be taken in isolation, please. If your partner comes home and says, can you hold me? Don't immediately jump to they're having an affair. I am trying to get into the habit of bringing you things that I actually use and love in my daily life. So there is something I want to tell you about that I truly could not live without. My Big Ass calendar. 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If your partner has had the same haircut for a decade but comes home one day with a bold new do, this could indicate an effort to impress another person. I think the principle here is the important part that if Someone just starts drastically changing certain parts of themselves and you don't in any way feel a part of that. They're not communicating that with you, that, you know, I'm making some changes or I'm enjoying doing this, I'm enjoying taking care of my style right now, or I'm thinking of getting my hair done in this way. But if someone is making these bold changes to their appearance in a way that they're not communicating at all with you, then at the very least suggests a lack of closeness and at worst suggests that there's some external motivating force for that. So I'm going to say cheetah, do you still find me attractive? I don't think that that necessarily. I think I can quite imagine Don Cheadle having an insecure day and asking that question. So, Cheadle, I should retire to Florida one day. The problem with this sentence is of course, the I. If someone said we should retire to Florida one day, fine, that's a conversation. I should retire to Florida one day is a very bizarre thing to say in the context of a long term relationship. Cheater. Why does it matter where I'm going? Cheater. I think if someone starts getting really defensive about you, wondering what you know, where are you going? Sweet. Why does it matter? Then that's that I, I, I. The moment someone starts to make you feel like you're walking on eggshells, when you're asking for perfectly reasonable information, again, you're not saying on their one night out with their friends, what time are you going to be home? And they're like, really? Like, I've got a night out with my friends. And, and you're micromanaging what time I'm going to be home. That's not fair. That's different. But if they're general comings and goings or they're talking about, or when you're asking them about their work is always met with, I don't want to talk about it. Why do you even care? Why are we talking about that? Why are you asking me where I'm going? Cheater, Cheater, cheater, cheater. I think the thing I want to say about all of these is that of course no one of these things in isolation can just be taken to mean someone is cheating. The pattern of things is really important. For one thing, if we feel like someone is systematically cordoning off parts of their life that you don't have access to and there's just these big dark spots in their world that you're not allowed into or you have no visibility into. That's a real concern. Right? Why the lack of openness in general? I also think we have to pay attention to the general kind of capriciousness of people. That one minute they're telling us we look great and my God, you look so good today. And the next minute they're just going dark for the day and we don't hear from them and they're just completely off the radar. And the next minute they're highly irritable because we're asking questions about something that we shouldn't be asking questions about. That irritability is a kind of key part of this, right? The feeling that we're frustrating them all the time, that they're finding lots of things wrong with us, that there's a kind of contempt there for us that we sense beneath everything they're doing and that they get mad when we ask certain questions that they deem to be offensive for us to ask. And they either find them really, it's really unfair that you're asking me that, or it's because you're paranoid or because, you know, you're so needy or whatever. When you combine these things, the dark spots in their life, the incongruency between the different behaviors, the capriciousness and the general irritability towards us, all of those things together start to really paint a picture. Let me know what you thought of this video. Leave a comment below. Are there any phrases you think were missing from this video? Comment below. Let me know what your experience of it is. And before you go, make sure you're signed up for the 30 day confidence challenge@mhchallenge.com. remember, the whole thing is free. This is an invitation for you to be part of a global movement towards more confidence with five missions in 30 days. Do not miss it. It's only happening right now. Go to mhchallenge.com to sign up. Thank you for watching the video. I'll see you next time.