Matthew Hussey says facial symmetry matters, but you control most of your attractiveness through confidence, grooming, and fitness. Stop chasing attention in the room. Find someone who values the whole package, not just your looks.
There are some people who have an easier time getting attention because of the way they look and it would be a lie to say otherwise.
I am curious, Matthew, how would you help someone or what would you say to someone who feels insecure about, you know, possibly their attractiveness or they feel like they're not attractive? Because I feel like that is such a common fear for so many people. And so what would be your best advice to overcoming that kind of an insecurity?
Well, you know, symmetry, facial symmetry isn't distributed evenly in this world. That's true. And neither is, you know, body shape. And you know, some people struggle more with that and, and we do, you know, it would be false to say that there aren't certain types of faces and bodies that, that make life easier for some people because they just do. There are some people who have an easier time getting attention because of the way they look and it would be a lie to say otherwise. What I. But, but I think that it's worth thinking about it in a couple of other ways. First, firstly, we do actually have an incredible amount of influence over our attractiveness. And part of that is because, of course, the ways that we can work on our personality, our boundaries, how we come across our charisma is something that we're not just born with a certain level of charisma that can't change. We do actually have ways of improving our charisma. We do actually have ways of being more bold, of speaking up for ourselves more or flirting better. But also on the outside we do, you know, you can go to the gym, you can work out, you can improve your body, you can groom yourself and look better. That way you can look after your skin like there are, there are a lot of things you can do. Now, is it going to take someone who doesn't look anything like the kinds of people that are held up as the examples of beauty in today's day and age? No, it's not going to, it's not going to completely eradicate the gap, but it can make an extraordinary difference. So I think that's the, that's the first thing. And the second thing is it being the best looking person in the room only really matters if you're trying to attract everyone in the room, which by the way, isn't even possible for the best looking person in the room. So if you're coming at it from a place of, well, trying to attract everyone in the room is just an egoic pursuit. That's just my ego that wants to attract more and more and more and more and more people. What is it I actually really want? What is it I'm actually looking for? And if the answer is, oh, I'm looking for a really great connection, I'm looking for someone who really thinks that I am a special, special human being and adores me and that I can also adore, then you're playing a very different game than the attention game. You're actually in the game of let me find that person who I'm going to build something extraordinarily special with. And, and that to me is where true, where there's much more happiness anyway. You know, one of the, one of the problems for people who get an extraordinary amount of attention is that it actually takes their focus away from something that could be far more nourishing, far more nutritional. It's harder to choose one person if you are inundated with options. And, and it can also be seductive to have lots of options and it can make it hard to give that up. But that doesn't mean that happiness resides in, you know, constantly flitting from one superficial interaction and, and romantic situation to another. If you, if you take the premise that for most people being in a deeply connected and beautiful relationship, you know, of what, however they define it, is one of the most beautiful things they can experience in life, then you don't need to worry about the egoic part of you that worries. Am I attractive enough? That's ego. Am I attractive enough? Is anyone going to think I'm good enough? That's kind of ego. What we have to do instead is seek out that one person that we are, I don't want to say meant for because I don't really believe in meant for. What I believe is you need. You meet someone who just thinks, oh my God, you are extraordinary. That not one feature on you is extraordinary. You're extraordinary because you have an extraordinary face or an extraordinary body. No. You meet someone who sees the package that you represent from the inside out and thinks you, you as a package are far from perfect, as am I. But my God, are you someone I want to spend my life with? Do you want to change your life? Go to this video now. Immediately. Right now. And then we're looking every day for reassurance. Did you mean what you said yesterday? Are you really going to stay with me? Are you really never going to cheat on me? We can never get enough reassurance, and reassurance always needs to be topped up.
