Matthew AI spent a day offline and noticed how much the internet shapes his social habits. He argues that constant connectivity erodes real conversation and that purposeful, face-to-face interaction builds deeper relationships than scrolling through feeds.
So I was in Vancouver a week ago and I made the fatal mistake of turning my internet on while I was in Vancouver. I was there for one day and at the end of the day I got that text message telling me that they'd shut my internet off, that I'd exceeded the limit. And when I got the next text, it said that I had a bill for over 400 for one day. Now, I know what you're thinking and no, it wasn't porn. So then I had the option of calling them up and getting the internet back on, but I didn't because I thought, you know what, maybe I'll just challenge myself for the next 24 hours to go without it and just see how that feels. I got on the plane to come back to Los Angeles. The plane landed and we had that moment on the runway where everyone is just sitting there and you're trying to kill time until you get off the plane. I pulled my phone out, turned it on, and all of a sudden had this mild panic attack where I realized, that none of my emails were updating, that I couldn't go on any of my apps. And then here's what I did. I went into my bag, I pulled out a book, and I started reading. And it was a lovely moment. And it didn't matter, and the world didn't end. So then I get outside to the cab rank, and I'm waiting for a taxi, and I start looking at my phone again, and some people start saying to me, Matt, are you not getting my text messages? When you're not online, you don't even get everyone's text messages anymore, at least on an iPhone, Galaxy users. I don't know if it's the same same for you. That was something that the Nokia 3210 could do 15 years ago or whatever it was. So I'm sitting there going, if only there were a way that I could get in touch with people and talk to them that wasn't using the internet and my text messages. And then I realized, oh, wait, this is a phone. I can call them. And that's what I did. So now I was actually having better communication with people than when I was completely hooked up to every form of communication. I think that all of these different ways of speaking to each other haven't created any depth. They've created breadth, but it's only skin deep. We're not actually engaging with people. They're not hearing the tone of our voice. We're not creating this amazing interaction with them. We're just skimming the surface. It's the fast food of communication. That's what so much social media is. And it's extremely dangerous for not only our relationships with people, but also our ability in our social lives. We have the social skills of a microwave dinner. The more time we spend online and in our phones and texting and all we're doing is getting more and more incompetent at the area of sociability, social dynamics, how we receive and deal with people. That is a skill. I think we're losing it. I was thinking about what this meant because it's kind of complex because I don't want to give up the internet and at the same time I realized that I'm far too addicted to it. And I think the solution is to have more purpose in our communication. In other words, if we know that the purpose of us being online, let's say in a dating context, is so that I can find a relationship, then the purpose drives what we do. I message people so that I can get to a date, and then when I'm on a date, I have to be charming and charismatic and all of those things that get me a second date and a third date and a fourth date. If the purpose of me being on the internet is so that I have more friendships and better friendships, part of this is me arranging a group on Facebook. But the group's purpose is for us all to get together in person, not just talk endlessly on Facebook. The purpose of it gives clarity to what I'm doing. Being online shouldn't be a means to a means. I'm gonna arrange the party, but when I get to the party, I'm still gonna be looking on my Facebook account and seeing what everyone else is doing who's not at the party. If the purpose of being online is to be out there more, once you're out there, get offline and enjoy being out there. I'm not saying get off the internet, I'm just saying Perhaps set yourself a challenge of not having the internet in the palm of your hand all day, every day. And if it makes you feel uncomfortable like it did me, it made me feel tremendously uncomfortable, it's probably a sign that there's too much of an attachment there. And I think it's safe to say that in the last week of not having internet on my phone, I've been more enjoyable to be around for the people in my life. maybe the same will be true for you. If you want to communicate more with me you can follow me by Twitter, Facebook, Vine, Instagram, YouTube or any of those online ways but let's remember there's a purpose to this. My purpose to all of this is so that you actually come and see me and shake my hand, give me a hug, maybe even a kiss on the cheek. We actually get to spend time together. That's the purpose in all this communication so let's make sure it leads somewhere. Take care my friends. I'll see you soon. On that note, if you haven't come to see me live yet, I really want you to. Here are some dates, times, locations that you can come out and see me and spend the day with me and just have a really bloody good time. Here they are. Click the link right now. But we're biting the hand that feeds us here, aren't we? Still watch the YouTube videos. Do not stop watching those.
