In this monologue, Matthew Hussey (referred to as Matthew AI) discusses the detrimental habit of avoiding embarrassment and how it blocks personal growth, creativity, and authentic connection. He explains that fearing embarrassment leads people to censor themselves, especially around those they are attracted to, which prevents them from showing their true personality. Hussey introduces the "pratfall effect"—the psychological phenomenon where competent individuals become more likable when they make a mistake—highlighting that visible imperfections foster human connection. He argues that embarrassment is a catalyst for learning, allowing individuals to improve through trial and error. Using a camera analogy, he illustrates how over‑protecting oneself (or one’s tools) limits usage and growth; embracing the “scratches” enables freedom, risk‑taking, and progress in work, play, and relationships. The talk concludes with a motivational call to “go embarrass yourself” to achieve freedom and success, followed by promotional announcements for his upcoming tour and a home‑study program called "The Man Myth".
Questions this video answers
UK, USA, Canada.
The Man Myth.
A risk-free, money-back guarantee (refund if you do not like it).
Chapters
It's not an understatement to say that I used to spend an enormous amount of energy and mental capacity trying to avoid embarrassing situations. I would not approach the woman that I was interested in because I was worried of an embarrassing moment if it went wrong. What if I got rejected? What if her boyfriend came out of the bathroom two minutes later? I would avoid getting on stage and speaking. And even if I did get on stage and do a public speech, I would be so afraid of embarrassment that I try and make sure I said everything absolutely correctly, that I didn't put a foot wrong, that I didn't make some funny facial expression, that I didn't do anything stupid. It would all be about avoiding embarrassment. And the problem with avoiding embarrassment is that you can't avoid embarrassment and do all of the things that you want to do at the same time. It's impossible. And it kind of closes down all of those creative channels in your body. We wonder why it is that the people we're attracted to aren't attracted to us and everyone we're not attracted to suddenly swarms us like flies. Well, why is. Because when we're in front of the one person we're attracted to, we're deathly afraid of embarrassment. We want to make sure that we don't go through any of that. So we close down our channels, we censor ourselves, and therefore we don't get across our personality. I think there's a huge case for embarrassment, and I want to put it to you right now. One of these reasons has actually been coined as a scientific term called the pratfall effect. Richard Wiseman talked about it in his book 59 Seconds. The idea psychologically in human behavior that if you mess up how and you're perceived to be competent at something, if you mess up, then people like you more. People like when they see the human side of people. And of course, we see people in their most human way when they mess up. When they do something wrong, it allows us to connect, to relate, and say, ah, they're human too. Next, when you mess up, it allows you to learn better ways of doing it. If you can allow yourself to screw up and be a little bit embarrassed in the moment, it helps you do it better next time. Failing. We all know failing can help lead to success. And part failing is going through a little embarrassment here and there. It's okay, there's no problem with it. And the third big thing embarrassment does is it liberates you. I think about it in terms of, you know, when you get a New gadget, like a new camera or a new laptop. And as soon as you get it, you're a perfectionist about that thing. You cradle it. It's like your baby. You put it back in its special case where it has all the fluff inside so it doesn't get any scratches. And then when you remove it, you remove it carefully. And if anyone goes near it, you go, be careful. My thing is there, this new laptop is there that just bought. You get really protective over it. And then one day, inevitably, it gets a dink, it gets a scratch, something happens to it, and you freak out and you can't believe it. And there's something that happens in that moment because it's been tarnished a little bit, because it's got a scratch. All of a sudden, you start treating it differently. You look at anyone who's an actual photographer and they handle their camera, you know, they're used to it. It's weathered, it's been used in all different situations. There are scratches on it. It's kind of war. It's been through things. And that person uses it as a tool. It's a utility. It's not something that they cradle and nurse and protect and nurture in that way. It's something they use every day. Doesn't mean they don't respect it, but they're willing to go through those little moments where it can be tarnished, because that's the only way to get the best out of that equipment is not to sit there protecting it all the time. You watch someone when they're not a photographer and they have their new camera and they're so precious with it and they don't want to use it, and they never get any great photos because they're so busy nursing it that they never actually use it for what it's for, which is taking photos. People are so busy nursing themselves and cradling themselves and so afraid of the scratches that they never end up using all of their creative channels. They never end up saying half the things to that person over there that they could say. They never go through half the experiences they could go through in life. They're too busy avoiding the scratches. Don't be afraid of the scratches. As soon as you're willing to embarrass yourself in life, no matter what area it is, whether it's at work, whether it's in your playtime, whether it's with people, no matter what it is, the moment you're willing to embarrass yourself is the moment you'll be completely free. You'll be free from what everyone thinks of you, what everyone says about you. And you'll be able to actually risk the actions that will get you to where you want to be. You'll be able to take the steps that will move you forward. So go embarrass yourself. That's it. Before I go, quick announcement. I have my tour coming up. If you haven't got tickets yet, and you're able to get tickets, go grab them now. We'll put a link under the video. We're doing uk, usa, Canada. If you haven't got your tickets yet, go grab them. I'm gonna have an amazing time with the people that come and I can't wait. And if you want to study from home, if you want to check out what we have in our home study program, we'll also link that up too. It's called the Man Myth. And if you haven't tried it yet, you should absolutely go and try it. It's risk free. We've guaranteed the whole thing. So if you don't like it, that's fine. Tell us you don't like it and we'll give you your money back. Alright guys, take care. I will speak to you soon.
