LIVE: Last Chance to Get Your Questions Answered

Hello, everybody. Welcome. Let me know when you're here. Going live on all of our platforms today. Let me know what platform you're on when you're seeing this. I'm going to be reading comments, we're going to be answering questions, checking in with you guys, seeing how everyone's doing on this Wednesday in December. Happy December, everybody. I hope you're having a wonderful month so far. Nene, how are you? It's good to see you. We're going live on YouTube. Facebook will be on Instagram and Tick Tock in just a moment. David, let me know when we're live on the other platforms. I can read some comments from there, too. Hi, Camilla. Hi, Vivistar. Nancy, hello to you in Savannah. Ms. Hoban says can we ask questions now? Yes, please. Ask away. I'm excited to hear from you today. Happy to see you too, Rocky. Hi, Arizu. Shout out to everyone who's watching on Instagram right now as well. I'm just about to pull up those comments. Same for all of you guys on TikTok. Hi, Laura. Excited to hear from you today. Oh, I'm getting some sound from Tick Tock. David. Good to see you too, Rocky. Hi, Arizua. David. I don't know if you can hear that, but I'm actually getting the Instagram sound. I don't know if you know how to turn that. That might work, yeah. Coming from Ukraine. Hello to you in Ukraine, India. All right, let's do it. Lavinia, what's up? Good to. Good to see you in here. Let's get to some questions. Make sure that if you haven't already, you comment the word ask on Instagram. If you're watching on Instagram or on Facebook, comment the word ask I. We have the final day of our Black Friday deal for Matthew AI. Two weeks for free of Matthew AI. You can cancel any time if you haven't taken us up on that. It ends at midnight tonight. Anyone who's not on Instagram or Facebook, go to askmh.com and claim those two free weeks before it disappears at the end of the night. Tonight. Let's get going some questions. All right? See, David, I don't know if you've had a chance to post any yet, but let's see what we've got. All right, don't worry, David. You worry about getting Tick Tock live. I'll find some questions, but just give me the. The cursor for a moment and I'll just find a question in the comments. Actually, you know what, David, Bill Let me just. If you could just switch me to comments on, that would be great. Thank you. All right, Kimmy Swimmy, what's going on? Wade on Instagram says, I used to have a girlfriend, but I started having a wandering eye, and I cannot stop entertaining people. I don't know what to do. It's like what you're experiencing is common, and people will. People will hate on you for, you know, for feeling that way. But I'm, you know, there. To me, the spirit of your question is an honest one. It's an authentic one. You're. You're saying, I have been in relationships, or I had a relationship. I had a compulsion to keep looking at other people, and you know, it. I'm sure it was hurtful to the person you were with, but it's also tiring for you, right, because you're in a situation where you don't feel that you're present, you don't feel that you're happy. You don't feel that you're enjoying your own relationship because you're constantly looking around. And, you know, some of that might be age. Some of that might be something that you're still chasing. Some of that might be that there's just an addictive element to, you know, seeing someone beautiful walk into the room, and you're drawn to that beauty. I think it's important to recognize that there is a human element to this. This isn't just something that, you know, quote, players do or people who, you know, are perceived to be disrespectful to their partners do. There's something very human about, you know, someone who's attractive walking into a room and the eye being drawn in that direction. For men and women, right? This isn't just a male issue that anyone can have that moment where they're drawn to beauty. We as human beings are naturally drawn to beauty, but we in life, we train our focus in a certain direction, right? I'm drawn to Instagram. Even though Instagram very rarely provides value in my life, I feel drawn to Instagram. The reason I train my focus on my real life, on the next piece of writing I want to do, on the next thing I want to create instead of just mindlessly being drawn to Instagram is because I recognize that Instagram isn't serving me nine times out of ten, right? So it's. You may find your focus drawn in a certain direction, but where are you training your focus? And part of it is recognizing, okay, this. This isn't. I'm not just a mindless being. Whose focus is being drawn. I'm someone who has to decide the kind of relationship they want to have. And what kind of relationship do I want with my partner? What level of respect do I want to give my partner? You know, how do I want to make them feel? And what could it be? Let me explore. What could it be? That means my eye keeps getting drawn because it's not just. There's an obvious element of, you know, beauty walks in the room. And our eye can be unconsciously drawn, but. But actually it can be deeper than that. Sometimes our eye is drawn compulsively because that. We feel like we're missing something in our current relationship. We feel in some way like we've been shortchanged, like there's something else we should have gone for, there's something else we should be getting. There might be a degree of entitlement in there about why should have had, but there's some deeper reason why we feel drawn in another direction. And I would explore that. What is it I think I'm missing when I'm in a relationship? You can't, you know, there's always going to be someone beautiful who could walk through the door. There could always be someone who's objectively more attractive than your partner that could walk through the door. Right. But you don't marry someone because they're a 10 out of 10 on the look scale. You don't spend the rest of your life with someone because they score more highly than anyone else in hotness. At least that's not. I would never do that because that. That's not the person I want to spend my life with. The person I want to spend my life with is the person who represents a package of things. As a person that makes me go, this is what I. This is the kind of person I want to spend my life with. God, I respect this person. God, I love them to pieces. God, they see me like no one else does, you know, to have the best time with them. And a lot of the time when our eye is being drawn, it's because we're not connecting to the value of the partner we actually have in front of us. We're. We're constantly in. In search. And actually, by the way, looking around the room constantly, this is something a lot of. A lot of people don't actually go as far. They can't see it this way or they don't think to see it this way. But often constantly looking around the room for someone better is not just a form of entitlement because it can be a form of entitlement, it can be a form of disrespect, it can be a form all of those things. But it can also be a form of anxiety. The constant anxiety of have I picked the right person? Could I have done better? Is there someone better out there for me? Have I made a mistake? There's an anxious pattern of thinking to looking around the room all the time when you're with your partner. And a lot of people who are indecisive in life who have never been able like, who struggle to trust in their decisions, who struggle to trust that they've made the best possible choice. Those are the people that find themselves looking around because they're doubting themselves. They're doubting their choices. So this isn't just as simple as train your focus on your partner. It's start. Can start having faith in the choices you're making and remind yourself why. When you remind yourself why you made the choice of this person in the first place, I chose this person not because they were going to be the best looking person I could ever get. That's stupid. That's a stupid reason to choose a partner. I remember a friend once saying to me, and we were in our 20s and he made a really stupid comment, but he may have been speaking truthfully about himself. He said, you know, I just think people in life, they find the hottest person they can and when they find that person, they marry them. And even at the time I thought that seems like a, that can't be true. There has to be more to it than that. And I look back now and I think he was a very immature 20 something and maybe for him he really thought that was true. Maybe it's still true for him, I don't know. But that's not how I make decisions in my love life. That would be a stupid way to make this. That would be a recipe for being unhappy for the, for the rest of my life. Just pick the hottest person you find, the hottest person you think you can get and then marry that person. That's so dumb. That's not, that would be an awful way to make a decision about who to spend your life with. So rather than constantly wondering about who else is out there, tell yourself, of course someone, quote, better looking than my partner is going to walk into the room at some point. But they're not my partner, they're not my person. This is my person. And my person is the hottest person in the world to me because they're the person I chose. And I chose them for very good reasons. And let me remind myself of that. And I'll stop giving so much. I'll stop putting all of these people, people on a pedestal that walk into the room and just because they're wearing the right outfit and, and they're, you know, they focused on their looks or, you know, they put themselves together really well this morning or they have a certain amount of symmetry. I'm going to decide that all of a sudden maybe I should have been with them. It's nonsense. Thank you, though, for the question and thank you for an honest question. I think, David, we should talk about this in a video because I think this is going to help a lot of men as well to, to hear this and to talk about this more. I don't, I don't judge questions like that. I think they're honest. I think they're, they're real. And by the way, there are plenty of women who have that exact same fear of like, I have the wandering eye. I keep looking around and wondering if I've done the best I could. These are human. These are human challenges. Before I get into more questions, I'm really glad you're all here right now. I'm. I love being live with you. I love chatting with you. We have, for those of you that don't know until midnight tonight, we have our final day of the Black Friday Matthew AI sale. And what that means is my digital mind that you can call or text anytime you want. You can get two weeks for free of it. This is, by the way, this is what I'm talking about. Matthew AI. You can text or call Matthew AI anytime you want. Once you've got it, you can have it on your phone. You can even have it on your iMessage or your WhatsApp. It's like having me in your pocket. You can text or call me asking me for advice anytime you need. We've even got a prompt sheet that gives you all sorts of ideas about how you can use Matthew AI, which is really, really cool. If you comment ask MH A S K M H.com you can go and try it for yourself and grab that deal while it's available. So either go to ask MH.com there or if you're on Instagram or Facebook, just comment the word ask. I think you can literally just write a S K ask and I'll send you a DM where you can go and do it. Okay. Where you can go and try it. Jordan says Matthew AI is good for general life questions as well as dating Ones that's absolutely true. Yasmine says the best AI is Matthew AI. I. I don't disagree. This is helped so many people. Go try it if you haven't already. By the way, a couple of quick prompts to get you started with Matthew AI. We have a prompt sheet that we're gifting you. One is these are some prompts on creating momentum in early dating. They've pulled back after a few amazing dates. What do I do now? So if that's a question you have, go to Matthew AI and ask what's something I can do this week to create genuine momentum with the person I'm seeing. Matthew, I will give you a specific way of doing that. Give me a graceful way to show I'm thinking of them without chasing. That's a great one too. But we have prompts around texting, communication standards, moving past the casual phase into commitment, heartbreak. If you're trying to overcome heartbreak, overthinking and emotional regulation, relationship advice. Go try this. All right, let's keep going. By the way, that's only until midnight tonight, so make sure you get it. Ms. Dan says, is it easy to cancel the subscription after a certain time? You can cancel any time, no questions asked. Just cancel it. Travel deputy says, where can we get the prompt sheet? I believe it's a download. When you go and get access to it, you get it as a download. So as soon as you sign up, you get the prompt sheet with it. All right, let's see what's in the chat from Tik Tok. How do I move on from deep betrayal? My ex left me after I found out he was cheating and got her pregnant. So that kind of a betrayal. And I'm so, so, so, so sorry that you've been through that. It's, you know, the, the kind of wound that that leaves is going to take time. It starts. We, you know, we often start by blaming ourselves or looking at what we could have done differently, how we could have prevented it, what part we played. We make it about our sense of worth. You know, if I was, if I was, if I was better looking, if I had more, if I was more, you know, if I had what that person had that they cheated with, then they wouldn't have done it. What did they have that I don't, you know? So we, a lot of us turn the someone else's betrayal into a very masochistic impulse to beat ourselves up, to question our value, to, to, to doubt ourselves. But the thing that we have to connect to is there's someone we almost have to separate two things, because inner betrayal is both. A deep betrayal, a breaking of a promise, and a rejection, or what feels like a rejection. And I think it's important we separate the two. So even in a standard heartbreak where someone just tells us they don't want to be with us anymore, where there was no betrayal involved, it's just someone ultimately deciding that they want to go in a different direction in life, that rejection alone is. You know, we all. We tend to make them about ourselves, but those rejections aren't always about us. And even when they are about us, I always think, you know, people always go out of their way to say rejection isn't personal. Well, even if it is personal, it's sometimes strangely impersonal. You know, someone could say I. Someone could say to me, I don't like. Someone could listen to me right now and say, this guy isn't for me. I don't like listening to this guy. I don't like his voice. His accent annoys me. His face annoys me. Everything about this guy just turns me off. I don't want to listen to this guy. And that's fine. That. Is that a personal rejection? Yeah, I suppose it is. They didn't. They didn't leave this live right now because they didn't have time to listen to it. They left because they specifically don't like me. I suppose that would be personal, but. But there are other people here who do like me or who feel I resonate with them. And that's my crowd. That's my audience. Someone who decides I'm not for them for any reason is. You know, that. Who. If they don't like my face, okay, maybe there's. There's something they have against faces like mine. Maybe they dated a guy with a British accent and they hate that guy, and they hear my British accent and they're like, I can't listen to this. This guy's voice annoys me. You know, it could be. It could be anything. It could be that they've come across someone like me in the past, and they didn't like that person, and so they don't like hearing these words come out of my mouth. There's all sorts of reasons why someone might decide I don't like this guy. They're not really my business. It doesn't necessarily mean there's anything for me to change. It just means that that person, you know, I'm. I'm not for them, and that's okay. I don't. Even though that's a Personal rejection. I still don't see it as that personal. It's just, it's going to happen, right? It's par for the course when we're living is that someone's going to reject us. So that looks at the heartbreak and the rejection side of a betrayal. But then you have the betrayal itself. Remember, the origin of this question is, I found out my partner was cheating and got someone pregnant. What's really important is that we separate the element of this that feels like a rejection from the element of this. That is how they dealt with not being happy or being confused or whatever caused them to cheat in the first place. It might not be that they weren't happy. It might have been that they're highly impulsive. It might be that they have no moral compass. It might be that they are someone who makes poor decisions in life. That there's all sorts of reasons why they may have chosen in that moment to do that thing, to cheat, to hook up with someone, maybe to be irresponsible in the way they hooked up with someone. So now they're pregnant. You know, it's like all, all of that is their reaction to a situation. And it's very important to say, there are many people in this world who, if they weren't happy in the relationship or they weren't getting their needs met, assuming that's even true, or who were having the urge to, like they were looking at somebody else and they felt desire for somebody else. There are many people in this world who, in that situation, their reaction to that would be to talk to you about it. Their reaction to that would be to say, hey, this is really hard to say, but I'm struggling right now. I. I don't feel as connected to you as I want to, or I feel our sex life isn't what I want. You know, I don't feel my needs are getting met in this way. Or there's plenty of people who would talk to you about that. Or there's plenty of people who would break up with you without cheating on you first. So it's really important to say the cheating part doesn't have anything to do with me because this person could have left, could have talked to you. There's a hundred different ways this person could have gone about the, the way they were feeling without cheating on you and getting someone else pregnant. So part of the way that you can start to, to start to process this is to process it appropriately. Not to make it all about you, not to make it all about men in general, but instead to say this particular person was unhappy or was feeling something, didn't communicate with me, and then as a reaction to it, went and cheated on me. And when I start to see that, what I can do is actually look at this person as someone that didn't. Oh, this person didn't fit the mold for the kind of person I want to be with in life. I. I don't want to be with someone whose reaction to being unhappy is to simply cheat. For those of you who have been in relationships with people, how many people, Hands up. Have been in a relationship with someone who left out of nowhere? They didn't cheat. There wasn't a overt betrayal, but they weren't happy. It seems out of nowhere, though, you didn't necessarily know they were unhappy. They just left out of nowhere. They just decided they didn't want to be with you anymore. And there was no, There weren't really warning signs. They didn't talk to you about it. They didn't share how they were feeling. You know, but when you actually started to pry, you realized they've been feeling like this, this for months or in some cases even years. How many people have been in that situation in their life or have just been through that right now? Maybe you're going through it right now. So I see you, Sebastian, Valeria, Carolina LaFleur, Kimmy on TikTok. You're experiencing this right now, Yuki on YouTube. So this is extremely common. One of the ways that we can start to process that is to say this isn't a commentary on men or women. This isn't a commentary on love. This isn't a commentary on me. What this really is is a revelation about this person. Right? Something has, Something very profound has been revealed to me about this particular human being who I truly thought I knew. I thought I understood this person. I thought I knew the relationship we were in. But something has been revealed to me about this person, and that is that this. I. I didn't know them as well as I thought, and that wasn't my fault. That was theirs. Because I can't. I can't communicate for them. I didn't know this person as well as I thought. And that wasn't my fault. It was this. They weren't communicating with me. What's also been revealed is that this person isn't my dream person. As much as I'm telling myself, oh, my God, I've lost the love of my life. I've lost the person I was supposed to be with. No, I need to. I need to now. Connect with the fact that I thought they were my dream person yesterday. But what I know today is that this person can't communicate. This person, when things were, were happening in their mind, when they weren't happy, when they weren't sure, when they were struggling internally, not once did they ever make me a partner in that process. Not once did they ever share it with me. Not once did they say, I want to share this with you because it's these thoughts, they're affecting me, they're scaring me. I don't want to, I don't want to just suddenly, you know, do something impulsive. I want to talk to you about it. I want to share it. I want us to see if we can work on it. Like this is, this is what people do when they know how to communicate. And by the way, for some people, especially if you've been in a long term relationship, the answer might be, hey, let's try therapy, let's try getting a coach, let's try working with someone who can help us here. I don't want to just give up on this overnight. All of us want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't just give up on us overnight. Isn't that true? Don't we all want that, don't we all deserve that? To be in a relationship with someone who doesn't just give up on the relationship overnight. And that's the kind of relationship that can make us feel genuinely safe and secure. And if someone is a great communicator, we shouldn't just that we shouldn't have a breakup where we didn't see it coming. And by the way, I've been that person in my past. I've had relationships in my past where I, I didn't communicate at all until the very last minute when I decided I didn't want to be there anymore. But I was immature, I wasn't good at communicating. I didn't know what a real relationship was. I thought I did. I thought I was extremely mature and having grown up adult relationships. And the truth is I, I didn't know how to have a relationship. I, you know, we can be in stages of our lives where we're not really in a relationship, a mature adult relationship. What we are is we've signed up to an experience, we want to have an experience, we want to have all the emotions that go with a relationship, but none of the reality of what a relationship is, which is two people who are each other's teammates, who look out for each other, who connect, communicate, who share things with each other, who try and work through things together. It's you and me. And if I'm having difficult thoughts, let's talk about those and let's figure that out together. It's not me and my private thoughts against you. Right. So when we're betrayed or when someone just leaves out of nowhere, part of how we process this is by recognizing that. What? Yes, it's painful. Yes, we're grieving the relationship we thought we had. Yes, we're grieving a future that now will not come to pass. All of that is true. And we have to grieve. There's no. There's no shortcut to that. You have to grieve. But what's also happened is I've had a revelation about who this person is or how they handle things or the. The true nature of their character, of their empathy, of the way they treat people they love, of their ability to communicate. And that truly connecting to that revelation will actually be one of the. One of the giant levers that allows you to come out the other side of this and with a sense of closure. It is the closure that you can give yourself is truly allowing the revelation that you've had about this person to land. And by the way, this isn't me saying this person is evil and they're a terrible human being and you have to hate them. It's not that. It's not that. It's. It's revealing who this person is. Even if maybe one day they won't be like that, who knows? But right now, it's their character, who they are, how they deal with things. Right now has been revealed to you. And the number one thing that that has been revealed to you is that this person isn't capable of being the kind of partner that you actually want and need in your life. And as much as you might care for someone or love them, if someone can't be the partner you need, then it. It's actually. And it winds up being a positive thing that they're no longer in your life because it makes space for the partner that you do actually want and need. Thank you for the question. Let me know if this answer helped you in something you're going through today. I would love to know if you're listening right now, if you're watching and you're glad you're here. What is something that helped you? Anna on Instagram says I needed to hear that today. Tania I related. We. For those of you coming in new right now, or for those of you who have been listening that this is the kind of support that I can give you every day. With Matthew AI, people have asked me for the last 17 years of my career if I can coach them one on one. I used to be able to do that in the very early stages. I rarely get to do that these days. I'm either on big programs with people live, or I'm here with you with thousands of people. And, you know, we're doing it this way across multiple platforms. Very rarely do I get to work one on one with people. But with Matthew AI, you actually get to work one on one with me. And I think that's a powerful thing because it's, it's democratized access to my advice, to my support that I can give you after nearly two decades of doing this. So, you know, whether you're trying to meet someone right now, whether you're trying to deal with difficult emotions that you're experiencing in dating, whether you are trying to figure out something as practical as what to text someone someone after a date or what to respond to someone who has just reappeared after ghosting you or fading, what to do with someone who keeps yo yoing in and out of your life, how to get to commitment, you know, whatever it may be, whether it's what to say, what to do, or how to interpret someone's actions, Matthew AI can help you with all of those things. So why am I saying this? Today is the last day of the Matthew AI Black Friday sale. It ends at midnight tonight, and thousands of you have already got on board with this. For those of you that haven't, go get it while it's available, you can cancel it at any time, but just try it. Because for so many people, this has now been. It's changed the game for them in their dating life. It's like they have a secret weapon in their pocket. It's been life changing for people who are going through difficult breakups, difficult emotions, rebuilding their confidence, trying to get back out there again. Navigating modern dating, which is so hard for so many people because it's such a mess out there, is really, it's your secret weapon that's available to all of you. It's like I came to your house and said, okay, let's you and me work together in your love life from now on. One on one. If you're on Instagram or you're on Facebook, comment the word ask and I'll send you a link to your DMs to go and get the Black Friday deal of Matthew AI or Cyber Monday or whatever the hell it is right now. Bottom line ends tonight. If you're anywhere else, go to ask MH.com and you can get the deal there. You'll also get the prompt sheet with all of the different prompts here from check this out. This is like it's got returning to dating prompts. We've got prompts for relationship advice. We've got prompts for overthinking and regulation, clarity and life decisions. These are really, really powerful and they give you all different ways to make the most of Matthew AI. So go check it out and get that deal before tonight. All right, let's see what else we have got. We have a question here from Diamante on Instagram. I've been dating a guy for eight months. He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. What is a good time for him to make it official? I'd say earlier than eight months. Listen, you know, life, you only you can decide how important your time is. Someone else isn't going to make your time important for you. And if you're expecting someone else to value your time when you're not, it's a fantasy, it's not going to happen. You have to take control of your time. People respect what you respect and you know, it's no different. Someone comes, someone comes to your house. If you have a shoes off policy in your house, people take their shoes off. They respect that, that standard that you have for your house. You know, if you have people come over to your house and stay and you have certain, you know, ideas around how they have to treat your things, then they're going to take their cue from you. If you treat your house like it's a frat house and anything goes, then people are going to treat your house worse. Even people who are usually respectful won't be disrespectful, but they might be more lax in your house if you allow them to be right. So you have to decide how valuable your time is and don't ever, ever, ever make the mistake of expecting someone to care about your time as much as you do. No one is ever going to care about your time as much as you do. Right? Someone can take up 10 years of your life, your, your, you know, like amazing years to date, years that you could have been having a family progressing in your love life. They can take 10 years of your life and then decide they want to go in a different direction, having strung you along non stop for 10 years and do that without compunction, without any sense of you know, oh, I've, I took so much away from this person. So many people in the world will do that to you. So that, you know, eight months in, it's not, he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. That, that's not. The question is, why haven't you said to him, this, this, you know, going along without knowing what we are isn't working for me. Why are you in a passive state of waiting for someone to ask you to be their girlfriend? Right. This isn't about you on date three saying to someone, I want a relationship with you. Because, yeah, on date three, you're still getting to know each other. I think on week six, you're still getting to know each other, but you also, if you're seeing each other regularly, you're starting to get the sense that you really like each other and that, you know, there seems to be something here and it's worth exploring. And at a certain point that turns into, hey, I'm not seeing anyone else. You know, I, I, I know that I wouldn't be spending this much time and energy on this if you were. And if you want to, that's okay, but I have to pull back because this, you know, I, I know myself. I'm someone who, I like creating things that have meaning, and this feels really meaningful to me. But I don't want to make the assumption that it's the same for you or, hey, you know, I, I don't know. My friends are asking me what this is, or my friend, I'm, you know, when I talk to people in my life, I don't know what to call you. You know, you're the guy I'm seeing, but kind of doesn't feel like you're the guy I'm seeing anymore. It feels like, you know, we're, we're seeing each other a lot, and I'm still not sure what to call you or people are asking me out and I don't want to tell them. You know, I've got people asking me out, and I still don't know whether to tell them I have a boyfriend or not. Where are you at? Where's your head at? You know? But why is it we go into a completely passive state where eight months in, we're still waiting for someone to ask us to be their partner? We're still, we're still tiptoeing around whether it's official or not. Why is that? It's because we've decided there is something we can't afford to lose. You've Somewhere along the way, you've decided you can't afford to lose this person, that you're going to mess it up by, by, by having needs. And you have to ask yourself, what does that, what does that say? Where does that come from for me that I feel like if I have needs, if I ask for more, I am suddenly going to be unlovable? What is it that says to me I'm unworthy of more? Because on some level, if I'm, if, if someone, you know, if someone was, was in business. Let's just take that example. If someone in business kept stringing me along for eight months, but nothing ever materialized. There was never a deal that got done, and we're eight months in that. I, I'm not going to sit there and go, but they haven't asked, they haven't tried to formalize anything. I'm going to say, my time is really, really valuable. My energy is really, really valuable. I could be doing a lot of other things right now. There's a huge opportunity cost to how much time I'm spending on this thing. Hey, what are we doing here? Are we doing this or not? It's okay if we're not, but I got other places to be if we're not. That. That's what you do when you believe your time is worth something. But if you don't believe your time is worth something, then you hang back and you hope that that person tells you what you want to hear. But if they don't tell you what you want to hear, you still keep going anyway because you, you don't want to mess it up and you feel like you can't, you know, you, you can't afford to lose this person. So there's something, you know, this isn't. I can give you advice on what to say in this situation, and Matthew AI can tell you exactly what to say in this situation. How to have the conversation. Go to Matthew AI ask MH.com go to Matthew AI and ask that question of what? Okay, I want to, I want to start respecting my time and my energy. What can I say in this situation? I'm eight months in, by the way, give Matthew AI the context. Because, Matthew, I will give you a different answer if you're one month in than if you're eight months in and you've been seeing them regularly and putting off talking to them. So give Matthew AI the full context. Matthew, I will tell you what you can do in that situation. But what I'm saying to you is you should be exploring why it is. You have ended up in a situation eight months in where you don't know where you stand because I promise you that doesn't have anything to do with the other person. That has to do with you and your unwillingness to actually ask for what it is you want, to demand what it is you want and to move on if you can't get it here. There's a whole bunch of belief systems and wiring underpinning that that's affecting you. And I guarantee you it's not just affecting you here, it's affecting you in other areas of your life too. All said with love, of course. You know, I get it, I get it. But this is, this is the work. What I'm talking about is the work. Diamante, thank you so much and please go try. Matthew, I go get your two week trial before it disappears at midnight tonight. I promise you where I have started. If you go and have this conversation with Matthew AI, it will continue that conversation, by the way, it even remembers your conversations. Once you're signed up, it will remember what you've told it. So every time you have a conversation, you're not having to repeat yourself, it's just picking up where you left off. It knows the history, it knows the context of the situation. It can speak to you on a level where you're at now based on everything it knows about you. And by the way, for anyone who doesn't understand how this works, Matthew AI is pulling from 20 or 18 years of my content. I put all of my books, programs, seminars, coaching sessions, all of it into Matthew AI. It works out to about 8 million words of my words that have been inputted into Matthew AI. So when you ask Matthew AI a question, you're not just getting an answer from the Internet, you're getting my answer as a coach. So don't get it if you don't value my thoughts on things, my advice on things, my support. But if you know I'm a coach who truly resonates with you, this is a way to have me as a coach with you 24 7, whenever you need. Even at 2am when no therapist, no coach, no mentor could be available to you, you can call me at 2am and say, I can't sleep, I'm struggling with this heartbreak. I'm in so much pain. Help me. Or I'm about to text this person, please stop me. Or this person just texted me and I want to know what to say back so I don't say the wrong thing. Help me. It can help you with all of these things. If you're on Instagram or Facebook comment, ask and I will send you a link directly to your DMs. Ask if you're anywhere else. TikTok. I'm looking at you on TikTok. Honoria, Minick. All of you on Tick tock, go to askmh.com Same for all of you guys on YouTube right now. Very good. Ariadian says. Has Mini Matt been born yet? I am excited to say that yes, me and Audrey's baby is here and it's been the best week of our lives. We've had the best time. I, I, yeah, I don't know what to say. I. It's been the greatest week ever. I, I couldn't love him more. I am obsessed with him. I can't stop looking at him. Yeah, I might. He makes my heartache. He makes my heartache. I can't, I can't. You know, I miss him. I miss him. I'm here now and I'm. He's next door with my mum and Audrey and, and I really, really miss him. I can't wait to see. I. It's like every morning when I wake up and I see him, it's like Christmas. So I, yeah, I'm having the best time. Thank you for asking. I'm. We're, we're, we're not, we haven't shared anything publicly yet. We haven't shared a photo of the three of us together or anything like that. I've been really hesitant to, to be honest with you. You know, we, on Thanksgiving, we had the best day. We cooked a big dinner and we were all sat at the dinner table and it was, was so special to be this new family and my mum was here and Audrey's mum was here and my brother Stephen. I was missing my brother Harry, but, but we were all here and, and we almost posted on Instagram and Facebook a picture of the three of us and then we didn't. I, I don't know, I had a, I had like a feeling in my stomach of not wanting to. And even though I wanted to, I know so many of you have been asking, I wanted to share it, but I also, I don't know, I had this visceral feeling of. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't want to invite lots and lots of kind of commentary on what has felt so sacred this last week and continues to be this really, like, special little bubble that we're in. I just didn't want to invite the world in to comment on that. And so I ended up not posting. And we will, we'll post something, but we're, we're not going to post pictures of his face because we, we just, it's a personal decision for us. No judgment to anyone who does. I just for us, it didn't. It felt right to not, you know, I, it felt right to not do that. And I also am not going to share his name publicly for as long as we can. Maybe. I'm not sure. I'm figuring it all out. I don't know. I just. We were gonna just post a picture with us in the back of his head and his name, but then I thought, I don't know if I want to say his name either. You know, I, it feels so private and I, I don't, you know, I just, I don't know. I don't know. I, I'm figuring this out, but I don't. I just, I, I, you know, I have lots and lots of friends I love to pieces who, who have different opinions on all of this. And that's great. And I, you know, I don't, I'm not, not judging anything. I just, I think for me and Audrey personally, the way we're built, it just feels right to keep all of it private right now. So that's what we're doing. Maybe we'll get a picture of us without his face in it and without his name and share with you guys. But, yeah, that's just how I'm feeling. But thank you to all of you for you respecting that and for the love I'm seeing in the comments right now for that. Because, yeah, it's, it's kind of the way I'm built. I've never, to tell you the truth, I've never been very good in any. Even with myself at posting private things on social media. I, I always, I, I am someone who, I have a lot of very extroverted friends who are, you know, have big followings online and, and they're very. Their natural disposition lends itself very well to a kind of public life of some kind. And I am, I'm very introverted. I also, my default negative emotion is anxiety, which is why I've always had so much to say to you all about anxiety is because I relate to anxiety being something that you have a relationship with in your life and something you have to manage. I've had to manage my anxiety for as long as I've known I have anxiety and, and that the introverted and anxious personality doesn't lend itself Very well to a public life. So I post, you know, I love posting ideas because my, my love is my craft. You know, I really love, I love talking about ideas and I love sharing ideas with you and I love sharing. I, I've benefited so much over the years from the ideas that I discover myself and the things I read and the things I have been mentored on from all different amazing people. I, I benefit so much from it. I love sharing everything with you guys, but I'm so terrible. My team is always like, matt, we need you to. Can you please stop posting? Can you post a picture of you, can you post a picture of you and Audrey? Can you do this? Can you do that? And I'm just always like. Because I'm just not that way inclined. But thank you for, thank you for supporting me and being with me in all of this with the way that I am and thank you for all of the kind words about the baby. We really are having the greatest time. And I, and I had this, I really, I had this anxious thought in the months leading up to it that, like, what if I'm, you know, I don't know if I ever really believed it, but I just had an anxious thought that, like, what if I don't connect to this? What if it happens and I'm not like, you know, I don't feel immediately connected and I hadn't. I felt immediately like it was so like that I couldn't. Yeah, I immediately, I just felt. I felt completely in love with him. It was the most unbelievable feeling. Anyway, let's, let's see. Oh, wow, we're nearly an hour already. See what's in the comments. Lisa Beck says another great thing about Matthew AI is that it's a great way to get advice about something that is troubling you without blasting it out to the entire world. Yeah, I've had a huge number of stories from people saying I. This is going to be interesting to some of you. So I have a private group, a very small group of people that I coach every year. It's my most immersive, intimate coaching experience that I hold. It's called Club320 and it's not open right now, so don't worry, you know, it won't, if, if we open it up again, it won't be for another, I don't know, nearly a year. So there's nothing to, to do there for any of you. But what's really interesting is I had people in Club 320 come up to me and say, I've asked Matthew, I have access to you because we do a call every month together and I've had people in that group say, I have access to you. And I've still asked Matthew AI questions that are just extremely intimate for me and that it's easier for me to ask Matthew AI. So even people who, you know, are on a call with me each month, there are certain questions they direct to Matthew AI that are intimate by nature. So that's pretty cool that you can ask things that you wouldn't even want to ask a friend or a family member or feel too intimate to ask a coach. It's really, really powerful for that. Volcanic Ash says, I followed everything you said four years ago, and now I have an amazing husband and babies. That is so cool. That is so cool. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. All right, everyone. Well, I, I wanted to stop by today. I wanted to see you. I wanted to let you know that it's the last day for the Matthew AI sale. It's. I've been kind of, you know, off social media for the last few days, so I haven't been able to share this with you personally, but it is, this is a big day. I mean, it's only until midnight tonight. Those of you who really respect my coaching, my style of coaching, who really feel you'd benefit from having me alongside you in your love life or in your life in general, working on your confidence with you, working on your patterns with you, this is the number one way to do it right now. It is really helping so many people across the world. People don't realize, even people who initially think, oh, it's going to be a novelty, it's going to be like, I mean, listening to Matt talking to me and saying my name, and even people who think initially it's going to be some kind of novelty like that very quickly realize, oh, no, this is, this is deeper than I ever imagined. The answers are better than I ever imagined. This is genuinely transformative and, and gives me unbelievable advice. So if you haven't experienced that yet, just go try it. Ask MH.com is the link only until midnight tonight. You get two free weeks unlimited of Matthew AI. And you can cancel at any time. If you want to cancel the trial, you can cancel. Just try it. If nothing else, go get yourself a trial for two weeks. Live with me as your coach for two weeks. Keep asking me everything you want to ask me, everything you've. If you had 10, 20, 30 hours with me, what's everything you would ask me? Go Ask it of Matthew AI. Spend two weeks with it. See how you feel. At the end of it. I guarantee you you're going to feel a genuine sense of momentum and progress, even if you haven't felt any for a long time. If you're on Instagram or Facebook, comment the word ask. Last time I'm saying it because then I have a baby to back to, but comment the word ask. Ask a S K on Instagram or Facebook. If you're on YouTube or TikTok or if you're on Instagram and Facebook and you just want to go directly to the link, go to Ask MH.com 1 of 1 of my friends came over just the other day to see our baby and he said that his son has been using. He said, you have no idea. He said, my son has been using Matthew AI. He's a teenager. He's been using Matthew AI for a situation he was going through with a girl at school, he said, and it gave him really good advice. He loved it. So this, the reach of Matthew AI has been crazy. I can't believe the number of different people I'm using it. I have family members using it who only tell me afterwards. They're like, I've been using Matthew AI for a really hard situation and it's really been helping me. And they show me like reams and reams of texts back and forth. With Matthew AI, of course, you can call it as well and speak to me by voice. But the reach of this has been phenomenal. It's been a year and a bit now since we've had it. People love it. I just want more of you to experience it. That's why we did. We don't often do things for Black Friday. I'm not a big lover of Black Friday in general and the way we get bombarded around this time, but I wanted to do something that would actually mean something to me this Black Friday. And that's why we did the Matthew AI sale, because I just want more of you to actually try this. I know if you try it, it's really going to help you and you're going to want to continue. So just come try it. Two, three weeks until midnight tonight. Askmh.com is the link. My friends, thank you so much for spending some time with me today. Thank you for all of the love. Thank you for the kindness that you always show me in these big moments in my life and Audrey's life. And yeah, I can't wait to see you soon. Okay, new video out this Sunday. Be well and we'll speak soon. Thanks, guys.