Live Q&A: Countdown to my Biggest Event of the Year
Matthew AI answers relationship questions from viewers and promotes his upcoming two-day Miami retreat, offering 30-day free access to his app and two-week recordings as bonuses. He covers recognizing love-bombing, building self-trust, and handling cold feet, emphasizing that confidence comes from emotional self-control.
Live on YouTube. Sup, guys? Leave me a comment. Once you get here, let me know you're here. We are live. We're going live on all platforms right now. Tick tock. Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Hello to all of you coming in right now. Leave me a comment. Let me know that you can see me, tell me how you're doing today. Let's check in for a moment and see how we're all feeling. Where are you coming from? Is this your first live with me? Have you been live with me before? Leave me a comment. I'd love to hear from you. And we'll do some questions as well. So David is going to be throwing a couple of questions in in this on the screen for me so that I can see them. I'm going to read some questions out. What's up? Michael? I see. Hi, Walter in New York. Travel Deputy. What's up? Good to see you. Hi. Dinner. Hi, Ophir First Live. Welcome. Rt hello to you. We'll do some questions today, so stick around. Let's have some fun. Esther, good to see you here. Travel deputy says, can't wait for the weekend. Who's coming to the weekend retreat with me this weekend, either virtually or in person live. Leave me a comment so that I know you're coming. Who's coming to the weekend and the link, by the way, David, am I right in saying the link is retreat access for anyone who hasn't got their ticket yet? Retreat access.com is the link. In fact, I think it's above me right there. Retreat access.com is the link for anyone who wants to join me for my live retreat this weekend. The tickets come with 30 days of Matthew AI for free and you also get two weeks to watch the recordings even if you can't make it live this weekend. So if you want to develop the most unstoppable confidence you've ever had in your life, go to retreat access.com and join me for this weekend's retreat. We'll do some questions today. What's up, Sandra? Good to see you. This weekend's gonna be amazing, by the way. It is gonna be amazing. Mellow. No, this isn't AI. This is me. God, it's scary that we live in a world where we just think everything's AI I Skill 33. What's up? Hello to you on Tick Tock. Hello to everyone joining on Instagram right now. If you're on Instagram and you want to come to the retreat this weekend, comment the word retreat or if you're on Facebook and You want to come this weekend? Comment the word retreat. Tickets are available only for the next couple of days, then we're closing it down. Caroline, hello to you. Thank you so much for telling me you love my videos. Let's get to some questions. If you have a question that you want to ask me right now, leave it, write it in the chat somewhere, whether you're on Tick tock, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, it doesn't matter. Just leave your question and I'm going to start answering some questions. Rose says, I like your accent. You must be British. You must be new. Rose, if, if this is the first time you're seeing me or hearing me, let's see. Stell says, someone loves me and wants to marry me, but I like another one. What do I do? You probably, you know, don't, don't marry that person going in. You know, if that's, if that's your response to someone wanting to marry you, then you should probably not marry them. That doesn't always mean, by the way, we should marry the person that we've decided we like because that doesn't, it doesn't make them a good choice just because we've decided we like them. But if we, you know, someone's asked us to marry them or wants to be with us and we can't stop thinking about somebody else, then we might want to take a pause before making a decision as big as marriage. Mellow says, I'm a 16 year old going into their first relationship. Any tips? Oh, that's lovely. You, you know, a first relationship is a time where you're going to learn a lot about yourself. So go easy on yourself. You know, it's going to be a series of firsts. It might be the first time you, you know, feel really vulnerable. It might be the first time that you get jealous over something. Uh, it might be the first time someone sees you to the extent that you'll be, you know, this person will see you. I, you know, be kind to yourself if it's your first relationship that you're going to learn a lot about yourself in this process. And rather than thinking, am I getting it right? Am I getting it wrong? I would think in terms of everything that I learn here is in some way going to inform what I'm looking for in the future is going to be a training ground. I'm not saying, like, for all I know, you end up with this person. I don't know, you don't know, but either way, it's a training ground for later. You don't need to get it all right. You just need to, you know, bring your best to the table and, and recognize that there'll be a lot of firsts, including first mistakes and things you wish you hadn't said or things you wish you hadn't done or, you know, all of that. But don't, don't forget, you know, it's very easy in our first relationship to get caught up in very big emotions. Early relationships, you know, it's very. People write off early relationships as, you know, it's like, ah, you're not going to end up with this person anyway. So it, none of it matters. When you're in those early relationships, your emotions are huge. That your emotions are very real and they can make it heaven and they can also make it hell. So, you know, that I, I think having some perspective that whatever you're feeling in the moment, there will be a time where you look back on that feeling and you smile at how big that feeling was and how little that feeling matters to the quality of your life today. So instead of seeing it as like life and death, the stakes are so high. Realize actually the stakes are not high at all. The emotions might be very big, but the stakes are very low. So I can enjoy this. Or at the very least when I'm not enjoying it, I can see this as a learning experience that is going to serve me later on to. The emotions are high, the stakes are low. If I remember that the stakes are low, then I won't take the emotions too seriously. Let's see. This is a really important question that's just been asked here on Instagram. Navi Ara, I apologize for my pronunciation, says how to identify our own behavioral pattern. This is a really, really big question because I believe to my core that the life that we create is being created out of our own behavioral and emotional psychological patterns. Our patterns control everything they, you know, how we show up in the world, our moods, what we accept from people, how we treat ourselves, the risks we take, all of it emanates from our patterns. And so your question is extremely important. How do we identify our behavioral patterns? This, by the way, for everyone who's joining me for the retreat this weekend, this is going to be a huge part of day one is identifying our behavioral patterns. And we must do that because our lives will never change if we don't change our patterns. But to change our patterns, we have to know what are the patterns that are actually holding me back in life. And many of us don't do the that don't go on that awareness mission of figuring out what does hold me back, who knows me best, that might be able to share with me from a loving and kind place what could be holding me back? Because other people can be a real source of wisdom for us there. They can have perspective on us that we don't. But you have to make sure it's coming from someone you trust and feel safe with and who has your best interests at heart. A lot of the time we go through life and people give us feedback in the form of intense criticism or anger or it's coming with an agenda because they're trying to get something from you by telling you something negative about yourself. And when all of that is happening, we get defensive. It's really hard to trust what they're saying because we don't trust this person, and we don't feel safe with this person. But there are people in our lives that we can speak to and say, you know, I have someone in my life who I trust and I feel safe with. And I asked them a question. I said, I. I want you to honestly tell me what you think holds me back. And it. Those are really difficult questions, because when you ask a question like that, you feel intensely vulnerable. You're kind of bracing yourself for some really negative feedback. And it. It takes a lot of courage. But people who we trust, who have wisdom, who have a good perspective on us, will be able to share things in that moment that have the potential to change our lives. Our job is to listen, to separate out the parts that maybe, you know, someone might say something about you, and some of it might be like, that's part of that is just me. But there'll be other parts of it where you go, okay, maybe that's not just me. Maybe it's a way I've been for a long time or maybe even hurts to hear, because I'm like, someone just confirmed something that I suspected about myself. But once you hear it, it's like you can't unhear it. And then if you're the kind of person that genuinely wants a better life, then you're gonna set on that path to changing that pattern. And here's the exciting part, Navi. The exciting part is that once someone does that, once you embark on that path of changing that pattern, you have no idea what is possible for you anymore. Like, doors will open, things will happen, changes will happen that you never conceived of, that you didn't believe were possible for you because you had never. You'd always been stuck in that pattern. And make no mistake, the results we're getting in our life and the life we're experiencing is not a function of our worth. It's a function of our patterns. In other words, when you look around at your life and what you're getting right now, how many people feel like they've been disappointed in love and, you know, they're single and they're terrified that they're never going to meet anyone and you feel like you keep hitting dead ends in your love life? How many people here feel like when it comes to your job, you're not happy and you want to progress faster or you want to do something that, that lights you up more? How many of you feel like, you know, the, the way people treat you is with no respect or that they, you know, they don't respect your boundaries or they're constantly taking advantage of you? All of those things are not a result of your worth. That's the good news. They are not a result of your worth. They are a result of your patterns in life. And if you change your patterns, which is entirely possible, I'm going to show you how to do it this weekend. You can change your whole life. And that's not exaggeration. That's just we don't know what's possible for us while we're still stuck in the same patterns we've always been in. What I'm going to do with you on the week. My Matthew Hussey retreat this weekend only happens once a year. What I'm going to be doing with you is not only helping you identify your patterns, but showing you how to change them. And it's going to change your whole life. Your. Your life a year from this weekend will not be the same because of the work that we do this weekend and the tools and the techniques that you get to set you on a new path. If you are not someone who has a ticket yet to this weekend, there's a couple of things I want to say and then I'm going to do more questions. So don't go anywhere. Number one, if you can't make it in person, there are still some live tickets available. So if you're the kind of spontaneous person that wants to hop on a flight and come be with me in Miami and actually be with us in the room, you can do that. Retreataccess.com is the link. If you can't make it in person, you can do it virtually from anywhere in the world. We have people doing this from Asia, from Canada, from America, from. From Europe, all over Australia. People doing it on all different time zones so you can do it virtually. And if you can't actually it this weekend, even virtually because you have plans on Saturday and Sunday or on one of the days you can, you have two weeks to watch the recordings so you don't have to worry. If you can't see it this weekend, you have two whole weeks to be able to watch it. And lastly, for anyone who does get a ticket, I'm giving you 30 days for free of Matthew AI so that you can continue to get coached by me afterwards if you have follow up questions. This is my tool where you can text or call me anytime and get my answer to any question you have from the retreat. So and that's normally a paid for service, I'm gifting it to you for free just as a way to carry on the support after the retreat is over. If you're on Instagram or Facebook, comment the word retreat and I'm going to send you a link to your DMs where you can get tickets. So comment the word retreat on Instagram or Facebook. If you are watching this on YouTube or TikTok, go here retreat access.com and get your ticket before the window closes. Because we are closing shop in the next couple of days so that we can focus on the attendees of the retreat. This is really the last chance. I've been talking about this all year. If you miss this one, you're waiting another year for these results and you can't. Life's too precious. You've got changes you want to make now. You want to get the benefit of this now. You know, I don't want to wait another year to change my life. You don't want to wait another year to change yours. Don't wait until, you know, at the end of next year before you get these changes that could make you happier, more peaceful. Find help you find love faster. Help you get the results you want in life faster. This is your chance and I don't want you to miss the chance to get a ticket. By the way, the virtual tickets are extremely reasonable. The retreat to come to last year was $4,000. This year you can get a virtual ticket for as little as $195. All right, I'm going to get to some questions. Get your ticket. That's all I'm saying right now. Do not miss this chance. Get your ticket while they're still available. All right, we have a question here from Tick Tock from Fizza who says why do I get cold feet or lose interest when things get serious or start to get serious. There could be a couple of reasons for that. You know, I'm always careful just to wade in with a definite answer, because the truth is there. There are several potential answers to that. Number one, it might be that we. There's a sense in which when you like someone, it feels like there's an element of mystery and chase, and it feels exciting and it feels like there's no real decision to be made because you don't know if they like you yet. So there's a kind of luxury, isn't there, in liking someone and not knowing how they feel about us and not knowing if it's going to go anywhere. When. When we like someone, all of our attention is just focused on getting the person, and so there's nothing else to think about. I don't need to think about the future. I just need to think about whether I can get this person. Then once that person, as I like to say, turns around to meet us and says, hey, I'm in. I want to do this with you, all of a sudden, there's a decision to make, isn't there? There's a decision to make. The decision is, do I want this person? You know, there's a great. There's a great episode of Scrubs, which, incidentally, is shooting a new season. How exciting is that? Millennials. But Scrubs was. There was an episode where JD Was in love with. Who was the female actor in Scrubs? What was her name? Oh, God, yeah, I forgot. Elliot, was it? Elliot might be Elliot, but he basically wants her so badly. The entire episode he's trying to, like, get her and get her and get her and get her. And then finally she's laying there with him in bed, and he got her. And then she says, well, There you go, J.D. you finally got me. And it just goes to his brain and he says, I don't wanna. That's the experience of so many of us. And in a way, that's the experience you're describing, because all of a sudden, once we get someone, there's a decision to be made. Do I actually want this person? And many of us have learned not to trust our own intuition, our own instincts, our own gut, whatever you want to call it when it comes to big decisions in our lives. So for a lot of us, there's a real lack of self trust. Now when some. When someone says, yeah, let's do this, it's all of a sudden like, oh, have I made the right choice? Am I doing the right thing? I don't know, I don't really trust myself. And we didn't have to think about whether we trusted ourselves when we were just chasing someone. But now that they're available to us and they want to get serious, now we have to trust ourselves that we are making the right decision. How many people relate to this feeling? Right? I, I, I'm, when I'm trying to get someone, it's all good when I've got them. All of a sudden now I start getting this fear and this distrust in myself that comes down to a lack of self trust. And it is. And by the way, when we get closer to someone, obviously a lot of that initial feeling of the sparks, the fireworks, the mystery, it subsides and gives way to genuine closeness. And so now we're forced to, to front whether we are someone who is, you know, more comfortable with initial fireworks than we are with genuine intimacy. And many of us are more comfortable with fireworks than with intimacy because intimacy is, well, in some ways it's less chaotic and exciting. It's more, it's more rooted and calm. And many of us aren't familiar with that space. Someone genuinely wanting us, wanting to know us, being close to us, we're not familiar with that space. So we're much more comfortable operating in the chaos and the fireworks of initial chemistry. And of course, as I said, we also then have to learn to trust am I making the right decision? Some of this, of course, is a big part of why finding. Why choosing love. Not finding love. Choosing love is hard because it's an inherently, it feels like an inherently big decision. Who am I going to spend the rest of my life with? Big decision, scary. The stakes feel impossibly high. But we might do, well, some of us to lower the stakes and instead recognize that we can't actually know what we have with someone until we start to get serious and until we lean into it. And maybe instead of telling yourself I'm getting serious, maybe telling yourself I'm leaning into this relationship to see if it makes me more sure or less sure. And sometimes that's the only way to get more sure. I'll keep going. I could spend David, I want to. Can we cut that whole question and answer? Because I feel like there's a I, I really want to do more on that. I think it's going to help a lot of people in ZID in or in ZIL says would like to thank you hussies for helping me find the love of my life. That's amazing. There's a question here from someone Said they want a question answered on Tick Tock. I'm trying to find what it is. Ruthie, you said to Wilson, I wish he would answer this. Let me see. Wilson has asked a question somewhere. Here we go. I think I found it. Wilson on TikTok says, Is it worth. And by the way, before I keep going, I'm going to keep saying this today because if you miss this, you're gonna, I promise you, you're gonna miss out and many of you are gonna miss it just because you didn't hear me say it in the right moment. The retreat is happening this weekend. It is two days of immersive coaching with me. There's no guest speakers. It's me for two whole days working with you to transform your life, your confidence, your relationship with yourself and your ability to control and master your emotions. It is the deepest work I do. I don't care if you're single or in a relationship. This is for you. And tickets are available@retreat access.com or if you're on Instagram and Facebook, comment the word retreat and you can get a ticket right now. If you miss this, you're waiting a whole other year for this. So please go and grab your ticket. Do not delay the growth that your life needs for you to get to the next level by another year. You don't know where you're going to be in a year. You don't know what's going to have happened in a year. Do it now. And by the way, it's happening on east coast time because I'm flying to Miami. I've got hundreds of people in the room in Miami, but there's a virtual ticket as well that you can do from anywhere in the world, any time zone, you can get a virtual ticket. If you want to join me in the room, I'd love to have you in the room. There's nothing like being seeing you there in front of me while I'm coaching for two days. But if you can, if you can do the virtual, do the virtual. If you can't get on a plane and travel to be with me, do the virtual. Also, a couple of ticket, VIP tickets available, over $500 off for those. If you are looking for the VIP experience, which all the details are on that page. Retreat access.com all right, so Wilson says, is it worth to keep pursuing someone who is having interest with me but then suddenly cut me off? So look, there's. Firstly, the idea of suddenly they cut me off is already a little troubling because it's One thing for someone to kind of lose interest. And maybe. Maybe, you know, we are all entitled to lose interest. We start speaking to someone, it could be anything. Maybe life got in the way. Maybe we got busy. Maybe we didn't feel a lot of chemistry or spark in those first few conversations. But. But maybe we're wrong. Maybe that person didn't show us very much of themselves, and that's why we didn't feel a spark. We all know we've all been in that situation where we first didn't think we liked someone and then we spent a little more time with them or we saw them in a new context, and all of a sudden we're like, wait a minute. This person. There's more to this person than I thought. You know, Beauty and the Beast. There's something there that wasn't there before. We've all been in that experience before. But the question is, how much energy do you expend trying to win their affections back or get them to pay attention to you again? And also, what was the manner of their leaving? If they suddenly cut you off, then that seems perhaps not like the kind of person or the kind of behavior that you want to invite back into your life. But if you say. If you're saying to yourself, they genuinely didn't get to know me at all. And I feel like with a bit more time that we would really hit it off. And there's nothing about the way that they left that I find fundamentally wrong. They just. You know, they did what many of us do in those situations, especially if we had never met in person or they just kind of drifted. Then by all means, reach back out to someone again. But don't do it from a place of weakness. Don't do it from a place of fear. Don't do it from a place of, like, please don't hurt me or please like me. Do it from a place of I. I know that this person is wrong. Respectfully. I know that they have not fully seen how awesome I am. I think they're missing how great of a time we would have together. So I'm gonna give them another chance. I'm not gonna frame it like that to them in an arrogant way, but internally, I'm gonna have a little bit of arrogance. A little bit of, like, Brian Cranston. Cranston talking about actors going into an audition. He said they have to have a little bit of an actor's arrogance. It's not an arrogance that he says you should have in everyday life, but there's a Little bit of an arrogance that you know you've got something, you know you've got something, you know you're talented. And it. There's a. There's a kind of like, internal. If we borrowed from that idea of an actor's arrogance, there's almost a little bit of, like, you have to know that there's something awesome about you, that there's something great about you that they don't know about, that they haven't felt, that they haven't experienced. And you're offering them another chance to experience that. And in the process, you might show a bit more of your personality. You might be playful, because when you're not scared of someone, when you're like, I'm just giving them another chance, you're more playful. You're not coming to them, like squinting, like, bracing yourself for the punch. You're coming to them playful, maybe even a little teasing. You're not taking yourself or them too seriously. And then you see what happens. But if they don't respond to that, part of that internal confidence is to recognize that we don't continue to give our energy in service of people who don't acknowledge or appreciate it. So if your energy is completely unappreciated and nothing comes of it, you redirect your energy somewhere where it makes sense to. I hope that helps. Wilson, I. Wilson, let me know if that answer helped. Thanks for asking the question. All right, let's see. Who else, by the way, felt like, even from that, you're like, oh, that came. Give me a little light bulb moment. If that gave you a little light bulb moment about how to handle something, let me know in the comments. All right, let's see. David, anything you want to draw my attention to? Yeah, I like the. The most recent one from Instagram. Let's see. Okay. Mimi from Instagram says, if I've been talking to a guy for six days and he's surprised by my sending flower, he's surprised. And he surprised me by sending flowers to my house. Is that love bombing? I think that you have to kind of look at things in a wider context. I don't think you can take one action and just decide that someone's love bombing you. You know, he met you six days ago, he sent flowers to your house. I would perhaps argue that six days in, someone maybe shouldn't know your home address, if for no other reason than a kind of safety point of view, I think is perhaps something to think about. He might be the romantic type. There is a type that, you know, has Decided that you're really great and now wants to do something to surprise you. I think it's a little. A little fast to be doing that. I always think that, you know, there's a moment in Hitch. Remember the movie Hitch? There's a moment where he has barely met this woman. He, like, I think he met her in a bar and then shows up. He sends a private courier, a messenger to her place of work with a. Like, two gift boxes, and she's supposed to unwrap one of them to see what they're doing on the first date. And one of the. And one of them, I don't know what's in the other one, but the one she opens, there's a walkie talkie in it, and it's him on the other end. And I'm just. The whole time I'm looking at that and going, this is mental. If someone actually did this in real life. If someone met you and before you'd even gone on a first date, they sent these two packages to your job in front of all of your colleagues and made a whole display of it and were waiting on the other end of a walkie talkie that was in one of the packages. That's insane. So there are things that I think we romanticize in films that in real life feel borderline creepy or stalkerish. I don't think sending flowers to your home is an immediate red flag, but I do think that it's like, you can say thank you. Don't be overwhelmed by it in the positive sense. Just see it as, on the surface. That's a thoughtful thing. Okay, but noted. And then you wait to see what the average of these person's actions is, because that's going to tell you the average of their behavior is going to tell you whether this is, quote, love bombing behavior. It's not about one thing unless that one thing is a really grand gesture, like, even then. But, you know, if someone, like, flew across the country to meet you, having just spoke to you online yesterday, they. Then that's a giant red flag. Right? But if someone sent flowers to your house, let's wait to see that in a wider context. Does this behavior show as consistent behavior that feels unearned and inorganic to where you are, or did it just feel like a nice romantic gesture for someone that he decided that, you know, he had a great time with? All right, let's see what else we got going on. I just saw a comment from Lily Bossanova who says, I'm so excited to be one of your VIPs this weekend. Oh, that's amazing. So, Lily, you are going to be front row in Miami and you're going to be. We're having VIP drinks with the team on Saturday night. So that's going to be a really amazing experience for the VIPs. I know you're going to get a whole bunch of other goodies as well. Lily, I'm so happy. I can't wait to see you in Miami. For anyone who still wants to be part of that private rooftop experience this weekend, in addition to the main event, VIP tickets are available at retreat access.com if we can throw the link up there, David. And if you're on Instagram or Facebook, comment the word retreat and you can still get virtual tickets through that link. The virtual ticket means for $195 you get two days of immersive coaching with me on my renowned retreat. I've been doing this for 18 years now. My retreat this weekend, you get two whole days of me coaching you. You're going to get two weeks of the recordings even if you can't watch it this weekend or you can only watch some of it because of other plans you have. And you're also going to get 30 days for free of Matthew AI, all for $195. Comment the word retreat and join us virtually like Gayathri is. I will see you there. Gaya3 I'm so glad you're joining. Where are you joining from, Gayathri? Evangeline says I want to be VIP. You can find that@retreat access.com. what else? Healing Club. I saw you commented retreat. We'll send you a link to your DMs right now. Sunavana, I see you also commented retreat. We will send you a link to your DMS right now so that you can grab your ticket. Very good. And remember, if you can't make it this weekend because you already have plans, you still get two weeks of the replays so that you can watch it at any time. It actually works out to three weekends that you have to watch this entire two day program. All right, let's see. Hummingbird says this is definitely a recording. Is it Hummingbird? Is it a recording or is this live? Let's see. David, any. What else do you think I should answer here? Here we go. Hummingbird went, oh, Hummingbird, you were so sure of yourself. This is the thing in life. We can be so sure of something. We can be so sure that life has to be the way it is for us. And we're wrong. We can Be so sure that we'll never be able to change something. And we're wrong. This is a big part of what the retreat this weekend is about is what have we told ourselves is fact? That's actually fiction. I'm never going to find love. I'm always going to be on my own. I am never going to change this about myself. I'm never going to be able to get over this event in my life. I'm never going to be able to achieve what these people achieve. I'm. That we have all these things we're certain of. And we're so certain we're as certain of these things about ourself as we are as Hummingbird was certain that this was a recording. And guess what? We're wrong. That's what this weekend is about. Challenging everything we know about ourselves. Because I promise you, you have no idea what's possible for you when you change the things you're going to change this weekend. All right. Heart Note 17 says, I have a question. How do I prevent admiration from making me blind to someone's inappropriate behavior? Because you trust them so much and keep making excuses. Well, we have to be prepared. Look, this is, this is extremely difficult. I mean, this, you're not just describing something romantic here. You're describing something that happens. People do this with their parents. You know, I, I, I trust my parent. I have admiration for my parent. And so I'm gonna, I become blind to their inappropriate behavior or. I'm not blind. I just keep excusing it over and over again. And at a certain point with anyone in life, we have to be able to take a step back and assess the, the data that is in front of us all the time. And look what there's. When we make excuses for someone, what we are often talking about is their intentions. We believe that deep down they are a good person, that they are not bad. And so when they do things that are inappropriate, we find a way to connect to their goodness, their good intentions, who they are as a person. And that's, in a way, a wonderful trait that we have. And that's a beautiful thing, right? But it's a very dangerous instinct with the wrong person because it makes us ignore the data. And at a certain point, we have to realize that the intentions someone has are not making a difference to the way that their behavior is affecting our lives. So if we are. Oh, and actually, heart note says this question was not in a romantic context. Actually, my mentor and teacher, who is awesome and helped me so much, suddenly changed his Behavior that was just. In a way that was disturbing. So firstly, it's important to be able to hold two truths. This person taught me certain things that were really valuable. You know, they, they were a source of ideas and teachings for me. But that there is something about this person's behavior that doesn't. That conflicts with the values that I have. You know, I. This person has shown themselves either to be out of integrity, there's a contradiction within them, as there are in so many people. And, you know, I. This has shown this person doesn't have the values that I hold dear. And, and, and I don't like the effects of this person's behavior. So instead of making excuses for it, I'm going to just look at the behavior and say, this behavior, wherever it comes from, is behavior that doesn't work for me. It's not. It's not the behavior of someone I can have close to me or that I want in my life in the way that they have been. And sometimes separating out the importance, sometimes separating out, separating intentions from the behavior itself is important because it's what allows us to not go to a place of judgment of that person where we try and tell ourselves that we get into debates of are they bad, Are they good? And we can tie ourselves up in that debate forever. Bad people can do good things, good people do bad things. And by the way, we're all a mixture of different parts. And sometimes the selfish part of us takes over. Other times the good, the kind part of us takes over. Those contradictions exist within us too. But if someone is constantly led by a part of themselves that you find distasteful, that you find doesn't speak to your values wherever it comes from, or however much goodness there is in them. The important thing is you recognize the effect that this person has on your life by being that way. And that's where distance comes in. You can distance yourself without judging someone. You can distance yourself and say, look, I, I don't. It's not up to me to figure out whether. Whether this is a good or a bad person. I just know that the effect of having this person in my life isn't fair to me. I have to take care of myself. I have to look after myself. And the effect of having this person in my life is bad for this person that I'm here to protect and take care of. Heart note. I hope that helped. Let me. Leave me a comment. Heart note and let me know. Smita says, wow. Going through it right now, and it's such sound advice. Thank you. Yeah, I think it's incredible, incredibly common that we get caught up trying to, you know, it's one of the issues with, you know, we obviously have a culture that is much more awake now to the world of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. And that's been a tremendously good thing because we now have a language to put to something that so many people, including people in, in the profession of therapy did not even have. We now have language for this thing. The danger is that when we are dealing with someone that we think could be a narcissist based on their behavior and, you know, they tick certain criteria, we now become obsessed with trying to diagnose them. And if we're not careful, it can be a distraction from simply paying attention to the behaviors that have made this person ask all of these questions about them, make up, made us ask all of these questions about them in the first place. So now we're in a never ending battle of trying to figure out for sure whether they're a narcissist or not, instead of recognizing that the very fact that I have spent so much time trying to figure out whether, whether they're a narcissist means that there's certain behaviors this person is exhibiting and character traits that this person is exhibiting that make it a good idea for me to not have this person in my life, regardless of whether they are a diagnosable narcissist or that, you know, have made it a very good idea at the very least to distance myself emotionally from this person. Let's see. Heart note says. Thank you so much, Matt. This was so helpful. I'm so happy to hear that. I am gonna say it again. This weekend is my one and only retreat of the year. And if you're like, I can't get to a retreat. Matthew, I know you've. For 18 years you've done your retreats in Florida. I can't get there. You don't need to. You can literally do it from your home, from wherever you're watching me right now because we have virtual tickets for the first time to my actual in person live retreat. So you'll be able to live stream the whole thing in HD quality. We're shooting it beautifully. We have spent tens of thousands of dollars shooting this in a highly professional way in a gorgeous venue so that from wherever you are in the world, you'll feel like you're in the room with me and you're going to be changing things that you didn't even think you could change anymore. You're going to be taking control in ways you've stopped believing you could even take control. You're going to make possible things in your life that you have decided are off the table for you. It is going to change things for good. And I'm going to give you tools that I have been refining for 18 years of my life. But more than that, I'm going to take you through a series of exercises that I have worked with people on for years. I've taken thousands of people through this process. And these exercises are not something you can get from a book. You can't even get them from my books. They're things that require me to be in coach mode because many of you know me from Instagram or YouTube or wherever. You watch my videos, Tik tok and you see me as some kind of influencer, you know, some content creator. I'm a coach. That's what I do. That's what I've done for 18 years, nearly two decades of my life. Now I'm a coach. I get into the trenches with people and I help them work through some of the hardest things in their life. I help them make changes that they've struggled to make so far in their life. I help them connect to themselves in ways they have never connected to themselves before. And I have a fundamental belief that confidence is a superpower. But you can't access your true confidence if you have a poor relationship with yourself and if you don't feel you have any control over your emotions and your thoughts. This weekend, I'm going to show you a suite of techniques and tools for getting control of your emotional states. So if you feel like you're always victim to your emotions, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, burnout, unhappiness, sadness, depression. You know, it leads you to overinvest in people, to get too attached, to get too hurt, to constantly get your heart broken, to constantly feel out of control. Like the moment some people don't date because they're like the moment I start dating, I lose control emotionally and I'm unhappy. That's because we don't feel we have any agency over our own emotions. So we feel beholden to everyone else when it comes to our emotions. I'm going to give you a suite of tools and techniques to control your emotions. Take back that power. And I'm also going to take you through a series of exercises that are going to build your relationship with yourself in a way you never have before. It's the most powerful work I do. It's work that I need to get in your body, not just in your mind, which is why we do it over two days on a retreat. And I don't just put it in a box and in a book because I need to get it in your subconscious. I need to get it in your body so that you feel these changes. You don't just leave with a bunch of information. This isn't about more information, it's about transformation. So if you know that this is right for you in your life and if you're watching me right now, it's. It's right for everybody. Everybody watch. If you didn't switch off after the first 10 minutes of this, then you're the kind of person that will benefit the most from this kind of introspective, deep work. And it's the kind of deep work that isn't. It's not platitudes, it's real change that you'll be able to feel. If you're on Instagram or Facebook, comment the word retreat. I'm going to send you a link to your DMs to get tickets. If you are on YouTube or TikTok, go to retreat access.com and you can get your tickets there. There are both in person tickets available if you want to come to Miami. But more importantly, because 99 of you aren't going to be able to come and meet and be with me in person. It doesn't matter. We have got the entire experience available on live stream in the virtual ticket for just $195. It gets you two weeks of the recordings. Even if you're not available this weekend, it gets you 30 days for free of Matthew AI because I wanted you to have my coaching support after the weekend if you had more questions. And it will get you access to the program that anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone who has followed me for years and been through all of my programs, including the retreat, will tell you is by some distance the most powerful and transformative work. I do speak to people. I'm sure there's some comments in here from people who have been on a retreat. If you speak to people who have been on a retreat, they'll tell you you've never done anything like this in your life. And I have people who have done other programs, other retreats, all sorts of coaching, therapy, you name it. Routinely people come up to me and say that did for me what everything else I tried did not. I have my own way of approaching this work. I take it very seriously. I took a picture of myself yesterday Because I looked like a disheveled, tired Father Christmas Santa Claus. Because I was just, my beard was getting long and I was looked tired and whatever. But it's because I'm putting in hours and hours and hours of prep to meet you on Saturday and do this deep work with you. I take it very seriously and it works. It works. It's worked for thousands of people before you. It will work for you too. So I'm. This is it. We've got like two more, three more days till the event is Tuesday. The event starts this Saturday. Come join us. And even if you can't join us this weekend, just go and get your virtual ticket because you'll get the recordings for two weeks anyway. And if you miss it this weekend, you'll just start next week. It's fine. Even if you missed the event, don't miss the transformation that you can get from this event by going through it, even if it's at your own pace. All right, guys, I can't wait. I'm so excited. Let me know if you're coming. Let me know for anyone. Chrissy, I see you're going to be there. In fact, everyone who's already joining, leave me a comment and let me know that you're joining. Sandra, you're going to be there. I can't wait to see you. Let me know that you're joining me so that I can say hi to all of the people that I'm going to be with this weekend in this event. I, I can't wait, guys. Michelle, I'm sending you a link right now to the tickets. Look for your dms. Yesenia, I'll see you. I see you're joining virtually cyber CN Fry. You're joining Amazing Gaya 3. I can't wait. MJ Rose, you're coming as well. Brett, Pat, I'll see you soon. Mike. Oh, by the way, this is a really cool thing. We, this is the first retreat where it's non gendered. We have men, women, everybody coming. So you don't need to worry like I'm a guy. Am I gonna get the same thing out of this? Of course you're gonna get so much. This is for everybody. So it's going to be really fun for me and Miami to look out and see a mixed crowd. And if you're on the community online watching it on the live stream, you're going to be talking, you know, interacting with people from all over the world. It'll be incredible. And by the way, we're continuing. You're going to be you're going to have the app inside on your phone and you're going to have a community inside that app that's just dedicated to everyone who's joining this retreat. And you'll have that for, I think it's 90 days after the event. So the community that you'll build across the world as a result of this event, you're going to keep with you for the rest of the year as you make these changes. You're going to be supported by a really loving group of people. And we do not have enough community in our lives these days. So for anyone who's like, man, I could use a new community. I could use a people, a group of people across the world who resonate with Matthew Huss voice and his way of teaching, his coaching. Anyone who resonates with that message is going to be someone who I resonate with because, you know, I have my own style is different from other coaches out there. You know, it's. You may have recognized like it's I. And it's not to say someone else might be more right for you. There might be another coach who's more right for you. But if you are like, you resonate with me more than anybody else, then by coming to the retreat, you're also going to meet other people who resonate with that exact same frequency. And those are the kinds of people that you're going to find it really easy to connect with. Amazing. Okay, we will see you all on Saturday. Guys, thank you so much for joining me today. It means a lot. Darlene, I'll see you there. Sabrina, I'll see you there soon. Ivana, I'll see you there. So many of you coming. It's amazing. All right, guys, be well. And, and by the way, don't worry if you're on the wrong time zone either. There is no wrong time zone for this. I have people who for one weekend are just going to flip their schedule and they're joining us late in the night. I have other people who are just going to be joining in the recordings next week. So please don't worry that you're on the wrong time zone. There is no wrong time zone for this. You can do this from anywhere in the world. Much love. I can't wait for this weekend, guys. This is big. It's only happening once this year. Don't wait another year to get these changes. You don't know where you're going to be in a year. You don't know if you'll be in a position to do it next year. Year. You don't know what's going to have happened that you will have needed this for. Something could happen this year or in January where you're like, I wish I had those tools now. I need them more than ever. The greatest investment you can make is in you. Build your own house. That's where your happiness lies. All right, I'll see you soon, my friends. Thanks for joining me for this time. Really appreciate it. Bye, guys.
