Matthew AI argues against cramming before dates. Instead of last-minute prep, focus on long-term personal growth and self-improvement. Build your mindset and social life over time, not the night before.
You know how we often use the word cramming in relation to a test, an exam or a project at work? We say we have to cram for something that is going on at work tomorrow. I have to cram for this test. I have to pull an all-nighter. It occurred to me after one of my brother's recent articles that cramming can be applied to dating as well. I think people cram before a date. They want to be a certain weight. and they're not that weight because they've been eating badly all year round. So suddenly they're trying to find an outfit that slims them so that they don't feel unsexy when they go on the date. They haven't been doing anything recently that's out of the ordinary. They've just been working, going home, going to bed, working, going home, going to bed, and they have nothing to talk about. And now all of a sudden they're trying to figure out, what is it I'm going to talk about on this date? They try and create conversational ideas. They want to have great restaurants that they can recommend or go to where they know the the best table or they know where there's already going to be atmosphere, but they realize they haven't been out in six months. In dating, just like in any other area of our lives, we benefit from what we've been doing the rest of the year, not what we do the day of the date. What have you been doing year round that has been benefiting your life? Putting you in a positive mindset, giving you fulfillment at work, giving you lots to talk about because you've had a varied and diverse existence. You've been to places, you've had adventures. What friends have you got to rely on that give you support? that form the backbone of your social life. One of the things that really helped me in my seminars was I would get overwhelmed if I would think, I have a seminar this weekend, I have to be on stage for six, seven hours. I need to learn lots of new things before I go on stage so that I have new things to say, new ideas. But if I think about it in the context of this weekend, I get overwhelmed and panicked and it creates all of this stress and pressure. If I take a longer term approach and I say, forget where I want to be by this weekend. What is it I'm trying to achieve over the next six months? I want to be erudite. I want to be knowledgeable in different areas. I want to have ideas from all different books. Well, what does that require? Lots of reading, lots of assimilating information that happens over time. If I look at it in the context of six months, then it feels okay. It feels approachable, and it's In a way, it's very liberating. It's empowering because now we go, ah, okay, I can make progress and it doesn't all have to be for this weekend. In fact, this weekend's seminar is practice for a seminar that I'm going to do in six months. I think this logic can be applied to dating as well. Start thinking in terms of, look, this date this weekend is practice for a date that I might have in six months. Um, and I'm gonna prepare. I'm gonna prepare, not for this date, but I'm gonna prepare for every date that I go on from now on. I'm gonna prepare for what happens in six months. I want to be in a certain place in six months time. So that now that pressure valve is released, you have the opportunity to take a step back and to see things in the bigger scheme. This isn't the only date I'm gonna go on. This isn't the only man I'm gonna meet. I have a chance here to practice, but ultimately this is about who I'm becoming. over the course of the next few months, not who I pretend to be this weekend. So that's it for today, guys. Keep following, keep watching the videos. This itself is a form of laying the groundwork. The fact that you come back every week and you watch these videos and we get to be in a conversation together and talk about these things, it gives us an opportunity to do the work in our lives ahead of time so that when opportunities do come along, we're already prepared for them. If you stay ready, you do not have to get ready. So keep following. I really hope you're enjoying these videos. I still enjoy making them as much as I always have, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one. And by the way, look, if you want to continue your journey with me in other ways and not have to wait for a video every week on a Sunday, we'll throw up a couple of links below this video so that you can access some programs and things that you can carry on your progress with in the meantime if you want to go deeper into this stuff. So thanks guys, I'll see you soon.
