In this YouTube Q&A episode, host Matthew AI and his brother Stephen Hussey field relationship questions sourced from social media. They discuss a range of topics: how excessive questioning on dates can stem from nerves and the importance of probing emotional depth rather than just facts; the pitfalls of playing detective when suspecting a partner’s infidelity and the value of observing honesty cues; the psychological impact of significant weight loss on self‑confidence and the fear that new attention is superficial, with advice to view personal health achievements as reflections of discipline and values rather than mere appearance; why men visit porn sites, framed as a form of escapism, distraction, or coping with underlying fears, and how couples can openly discuss discomfort around porn to foster trust; and finally, a call to viewers to take one concrete step to improve their love life, emphasizing small, actionable changes. Throughout, the brothers adopt a conversational, supportive tone, offering practical advice while acknowledging the complexity of modern dating dynamics.
Chapters
Hey, guys, it's Matthew. We are bringing back by popular demand today the Q and A format where I answer questions from social media that you have asked. But there's a special surprise today because helping me is my brother, Stephen Hussey.
Thank you for inviting me. Hello.
And we're gonna be riffing a little bit. We've put out the question on Facebook and Instagram. What do you want to ask us? You're gonna be doing it from Facebook, aren't you?
I am.
I. I'm going to be doing it from Instagram. So we're going to be going through. We've not seen the questions yet, so this is going to be exciting. All right, let's get started.
Okay, I've got one. Rosemary Dewar says, what do you do when you seem to be asking all the questions on a date?
Well, I think asking too many questions comes from a sense of nerves.
I think I've done this on dates before. First thing on the date is just to get lots of conversation rolling. I feel like I end up just either talking too much quickly or just asking a lot of questions. And I realize, well, I'm doing. We're just jumping from topic to topic. But that can be a good way to kind of try and hit on something.
It's not just the rate of questioning, but if you're not actually trying to get to the emotion of what their answers are, I think you're gonna get.
The best out of them. When you kinda quickly get to the actual interesting value part of the question. All you're asking is fact based questions. You and you have a very literal minded person, you are just going to get.
Yeah.
And they're going to think that's conversation.
Next question I can do. Should I do one from Instagram?
Yeah, do one from Instagram. All right.
How to know if your boyfriend is cheating.
I'm scared of answering. So I feel like it's very subjective.
Well, also, you very quickly get into playing detective, don't you?
Yes.
And you don't want to encourage someone to play detective in their relationship.
Yeah.
Because that can go horribly wrong. In fact, playing detective can actually drive the person away in the first place. That being said, you want to be looking for not looking, but be aware at least of whether someone's tendency is to lie to you. They'll tell a lie in order just to make life easier. Yeah, I'm always suspicious of those people because it's to me, the authentic, honest people that I know, they tend to tell the truth even when it's not convenient.
You'd rather have that person who shows up, like someone you've been dating for a while and they tell you just the reason they were late was that they were just really slow getting dressed. They go, I have no excuse. I'm sorry, you'd rather that initially than some cobbled together crap? And you kind of just, even if that's stupid excuse, you kind of respect it and feel safe with that person, don't you?
And if they're incredibly guarded everything all the time, you know, whether it's their phone or their email or this, everyone has to have a private life, Right. So I'm not an advocate for everything they do, being on a plate for you, but having a sense of them not being overly guarded about everything they have. Let's move on to the next question.
Okay. Molly. Elizabeth Lyon says, Recently I've lost 80 pounds. I'm very excited and feel more confident. Then my ego kicks in. If a guy asks me out, I start to wonder if he'd have liked me when I was bigger.
So she's saying, now that I feel, now that I'm slimmer, I have sort of resent that someone would like me now when they wouldn't like me then.
And it's like if you get more attention because you did something that feels superficial to some.
Yeah, this is a good question. I mean, it's the same as a guy who says, you know, would you have liked me when I didn't have status?
Yeah.
Would you like me when I didn't have money?
Success and money and probably start to feel a little bit icky when they get lots of.
Look, I think, I think to some extent, look, there are some superficial guys who, who are attracted to you purely because you're thin. But I think there are other guys who look at it as a sign that you're looking after yourself. In the same way that if you really look at what is attractive about status or power or money. Well, sometimes it's the superficial aspect, but sometimes discipline.
Sometimes it means you've got vision. Sometimes it means you. You're dedicated.
So, you know, you have to realize that what you have isn't just something that's attractive on a superficial level. It's also attractive because of what it represents in terms of your values. So I like that. Okay, let me jump into something. This is from Jilly Chung. Why do guys go on porn sites? Hit you with a doozy right at the end?
I think there's an obvious answer to that, a base answer.
Well, firstly, men go on porn sites because for the same reason that they eat a pizza.
It feels good.
Yeah, it feels good.
Escapism.
Escapism, distraction, procrastination. But you've got to, I think you've got to figure out what it is you're uncomfortable with. Yeah, I think that's right about guys going to porn sites. Like, what is the thing that you.
Don'T like about it unless you're highly moralistic about it? Oh, it's just not right that guys go to porn sites. There's probably an aspect of it, it seems like, oh, they do it too much or they do it to the detriment of other things.
I think it has to be fears.
From it that I don't want to do or something like that.
Or he's, you know, I don't like that they're going to a place where I feel like I can't compete with those women. Or maybe from a place of saying, I only want him to view me that way. This is the not politically correct answer, is that finally find what you're uncomfortable with and then if you're ever with a guy, expressing that part of the discomfort will actually be a wonderful pressure valve. For example, you're not actually the part about him masturbating really doesn't bother you. Then be like, the part that makes me uncomfortable is thinking about other people that you're doing this over. And that kind of has the potential to hurt me because I want to be the most attractive woman in your life. That can be a productive conversation to have because it allows him to reassure you and talk to you about it. And I always think real honest conversations about sex, about porn, about all of these things should be had between couples because it's really liberating.
It always feels better when you actually are able to talk about those things.
Yes. And it sometimes leads to wonderful. Absolutely exploits. Alright, finish. On that note, before you go, we have a question for you. What one thing could you do this week to improve your love life? I don't care what it is. Could be big, could be small. It doesn't have to be about getting a boyfriend. It could just be about having more fun or socializing. But what one thing could you do? Looking forward to reading your comments, guys. I'll see you soon.
