Matthew AI argues that while media influences behavior, blaming it for negative outcomes dodges personal responsibility and invites dangerous censorship. Instead of restricting content, he says adults should mentor younger people, offering context and critical thinking tools to help them navigate sensational, sexual, and violent material thoughtfully.
I've seen a lot of references recently to how the media is affecting how we think and how we behave. We've had the mass shooting in California and a lot of blame being put on mainstream culture and how it degrades women and treats them as objects. We have Beyonce's new album who many people have railed against saying that it's too sexually explicit and over sexualizes everything for all of the young men and women who follow her and treat her as a role model. Every time something goes wrong, we go back to the media and we talk about the effect that media is having on culture. And I want to discuss for a moment the extent to which media really does affect our focus and our behavior. I remember watching an interview with Quentin Tarantino when he was being criticized for all of the violence in Kill Bill, and he said, it's a movie. It's a movie. If you don't understand that's a movie, there's something wrong with you. But most people who go to the movies can see see that this is a movie, it's entertainment. I look at it like this: Media has to have an influence on our actions and behavior. If you want to make the case that it doesn't have any say in what we do, that we don't in any way get affected by it, then you've just made the entire advertising industry redundant. Companies spend billions of dollars a year on advertising because they know that to some extent it works. That money is well spent. These companies aren't stupid. When I watched Mad Men, for example, I found myself by season three going to bars and ordering old fashions because you see Don Draper drinking whiskey in every shot. Suddenly you start wanting to drink whiskey or you start thinking about it. That becomes your drink of choice if you're not careful. On the other hand, can you blame what happens on a behavioral level on the media? Well, that would be to abdicate too much responsibility. I don't think it's fair to, as a thinking adult, Give up your power to the media and say, no, the media made me do it, or the media made so and so do it. Because of course, once you get to that place, not only are you giving up responsibility, you start to become an advocate of censorship. And censorship in itself is an extraordinarily dangerous thing. I heard once that freedom of speech is not just about the right to say something, to voice an opinion. Freedom of speech is about the right to hear it. You have a right to hear opinions. You have a right to see content. You have a right to see things that are going on. Who? If you start talking about censorship, who do you give the right to decide what you should and shouldn't see? Do you trust anybody with that power to decide what you should and shouldn't be allowed to consume? Because there is absolutely no one that I would give that job to. I want to be the person who decides what I can and can't see and then makes a reasoned judgment as to what is good and bad for me and what I should take seriously and what I shouldn't, what is just a movie and what is a reality. I want to be able to make those distinctions. So if it's not censorship, what solves this problem? Mentors. Mentors are the key to education. Those people that grow up with amazing mentors are some of the most privileged people in the world. They're the ones that get fed the right information or at least get the option of different points of view in the world. They get the option of an education. If there's someone that you care about who's a child, a minor, who is exposed to things that you don't think are helpful to them, be the role model. I get sick of people railing against the media when they could be using that time and energy to actually talk and mentor the people they care about, the people that they're doing this on behalf of. Five minutes of talking to someone that you care about is worth more than six months of railing against the media for doing what they're always going to do. Producing stuff that sells, content that is some way sensational or out there in order to get the attention of a mass audience. Actually give your attention to the person that you care about. That's how the world changes is by mentoring. You sit down with that 13 year old and you say, Listen, here's what you're gonna see. Alright, you're gonna see this and that and you're gonna see people using guns, you're gonna see people doing this. But let me tell you the reality of it or let me offer you a different opinion. Or guess what? As you go through teenage life, chances are you're gonna be exposed to porn, right? You're gonna see that stuff. Now, so much porn is degradation of women. So much porn is about disrespecting women. You're gonna see stuff that almost looks like rape half the time, right? That doesn't mean that that's how people really have sex. Your own sexual world as you get into it will be something that's about mutual consent and mutual respect, and whatever you choose to do will be fun for both of you. It won't be about one person having a good time and one person not having a good time. It will be about both of you having an amazing time. Have the awkward conversation with them. If you can't do that, you also can't be that righteous person who gets on the phone and says, oh, porn sites like this shouldn't be allowed. People shouldn't be able to access them. The thing that works better than censorship is actually giving people truth. If you give people a choice of what to believe and you offer them some of the best, strongest beliefs, the most positive beliefs, and you're able to sell them well, you won't have to worry about censorship because people can look at this option and this option and choose because they can reason. Because we have to give people the respect of knowing that they can reason. We also, by the way, have to give them that responsibility because the moment you start blaming media for everything, you take the responsibility off of people. And that's not right. People have the responsibility over their own behaviors. They have the responsibility over what they think, and they need to be given that responsibility. So my friends with that, go out there, mentor the people that you care about, give to the people you love. If you want them to think of a different point of view, you need to be the one to give it to them. And yourself, an autonomous thinking adult, go out there and create your own views instead of digesting so much of the crap that is spoon-fed to us every single day. I'll see you soon.
