Matthew Hussey explains why people text constantly but never commit to dates, then shares three text tactics to shift the dynamic: a voice-focused message, a sarcastic call-out, and a proactive invitation followed by cold withdrawal. The contrast, he says, creates attraction.
I want to talk about a certain type of guy today. Now this is the guy that doesn't go out with you or call you, he just texts you all the time. Whenever he's bored or lonely he starts texting you. This guy sucks. This isn't just limited to guys. I actually had an experience with a woman who I met on an evening out. We had fun, we had a little dance, nothing happened but we started texting. And I really wanted to go on a date with her but she just kept texting and no matter how hard I tried, she just kept texting. As it turned out, by the way, if you want to know the end of the story, which I'm sure you don't care, she, it turns out, had a guy back in her hometown that she was really into that she was trying to get with. I was that person on the side who she just kept herself occupied with just to get some attention. Many people do it. Guys do it as well, of course. I think guys, for a lot of guys, they want to live that rockstar single lifestyle whilst they're pursuing that. They also want some people around that they can just rely on to text. every now and again so that in their moments of meaninglessness and lack of connection they can connect with something with somebody. They can just send a message out as like a beacon. Say, Are you still there? Are you still there? Okay, good. I can relax now. This is a very common pattern. It doesn't leave you any better off and of course the danger is that you receive a text and you get excited and you feel grateful, too grateful I might add in many cases just as I did with this person. As a result you start thinking, oh my god they text me, they do like me, what should I text back? what should I say? How do I get it to turn into something this time? All of that is the wrong move. We have to start looking at it objectively and saying no, they've texted me out of nowhere, having not texted me in a couple of weeks. What does this really mean? Probably they're bored, probably they're lonely. Maybe they just want to check that they can still get attention from me. Now, all of those things are okay. It's better than someone not wanting to get attention from you. But at the same time, we want to make sure we get what we want. I actually have three types of message that you can send to break the cycle of a relentless texting relationship. The first text is a complimentary text. you send him a message and this is more of a get him on the phone text but you say I miss your voice. It always makes me smile. We haven't spoken in so long. Or you can say I haven't heard your sexy voice in forever. All I've seen is your words on a text. It gives him a reason to want to call you and speak to you because it's a form of validation he's now getting from doing it. He's able to flirt more through phone than text. The second way is a little less nice the second way is calling him out. When he texts you next time and you're kind of frustrated at this point because you know, oh, here we go again. He's texting me out of nowhere and nothing's gonna come of it. You say, I've noticed something about you... you can even ignore what he sent you in the message and not answer the question at all. You say, I've noticed something about you... you love texting. I mean that all like you do extend the word. I'm not just saying that for effect. You have to always Make sure you're read properly in text messages, which is why we have to do silly things like elongate words. And by the way, you say you love texting when he says what if he never responds to you saying I've noticed something, don't feel the need to carry on. I'm not even convinced you're a real person anymore. I think I might be talking to a computer. The basic undertone of this is I feel like I'm speaking to a robot. You're coming across like a robot right now. He won't like that. He won't want to be accused of that. he'll either step up his game or perhaps text you less, which is a good thing if he's only gonna text you without doing anything anyway. The third way of doing this is to get proactive and actually invite him somewhere. So when you're out with your friends, you say, Hey, I'm doing this thing today. You should come along, it would be fun. You should come along, you'd love it. You'd love it is actually kind of cool instead of It would be fun because it would be fun suggests that it's something that would be really fun for you, whereas you'd love it means that it's more about him and that you know he'd like the thing. It separates you a little bit. You then wait for him to text back and probably he's going to text back his normal flaky response which he texts whenever it feels too close to actually becoming something. Oh, I can't today, I'm working blah blah blah whatever he says. At this point you just write a text back that says Yawn again. Elongate the word. I'm going to say for W's don't make it a two-liner. Don't go for six. Don't be crazy now. And then he'll go, no, I really want to see you. Why don't we see each other next weekend? And you can be like, okay, sure. And just leave it. Or even don't text back. But the key part about this is when he gets flaky, you get cold, you get a bit distant. When you show that you were interested for a fleeting moment, you did want him to come out, but when he was all flaky and, because let's face it, People who are flaky are not sexy. When you show that, he now feels, oh, it was just a fleeting moment that she was interested. I wanted to be interested again. How do I get her interested again? Oh, I need to actually do more than text her. So, three quick ways of doing this: be complimentary, call him out, and be proactive but be prepared to be cold afterwards. It's the contrast that creates attraction between being proactive and being cold. That's it. By the way, if you like texting advice. I have a guide. Some of you have got it, some of you haven't. This is the first video you've ever watched. If this is the first time you've ever watched me, congratulations and hello. 9texts.com this is a website I have dedicated to giving you nine texts that you can send a guy to get him into you, to get him chasing you. They're really cool, they're really fun and they're literally copy and paste messages that you can use anytime, anywhere with any guy. Is it the word nine or the number nine? Well, I'm smart, so I got both. I bought both websites. You can type in both if you want on different browsers. Go mental.
