In this monologue, Matthew Hussey argues that the most efficient way to find a compatible partner is to prioritize real‑world interactions and brief video calls before committing to a date. He explains that meeting someone in person instantly provides crucial information—appearance, energy, body language, and conversational flow—that online profiles and photos cannot reliably convey, especially given the prevalence of curated Instagram images. Hussey recommends that anyone interested in saving time should at least have a five‑minute FaceTime or phone call with a prospective date; failure to do so signals a lack of seriousness or compatibility. He frames the entire dating process as a matter of time management, quoting Darwin to stress that wasting an hour on an unsuitable match is a failure to recognize the value of one’s limited time. The overall message is a call to use in‑person meetings and quick video calls as low‑cost filters to allocate one’s time to people who truly merit deeper investment.
Chapters
There is a premium to meeting someone in person, because if I meet you right now, if I la. You're a little rowdier than normal. Seriously, if I meet you in person. In person, you already have done a bunch of calculations. Do I like the look of him? Has he got good energy? Is he what he seems to be? How does he carry himself? How does he answer questions in real time? Not, we're texting and I know nothing. I don't even know if you look like your picture anymore. That's the crazy shit. Now, it used to be the case that on match.com, they would say, like, add, you know, 8 or 18 or however many is pictures, because more pictures equals more credibility. More credibility equals more matches. But now we live in a world where someone can have a hundred photos of themselves on Instagram and look like none of them. It's extraordinary. So we now have become suspicious. We now have realized that we don't know anything until we meet someone. Ever had that experience? You think you have some chemistry, you think you're attracted. You don't know shit until you get in the room with someone and then you know. Which is why still today, if you met someone right now after this event, it would be so much easier to get on a date with that person if you've exchanged numbers than if you met online. Because you already have that base level of, I know you, you know me. At least on that very superficial level, we know what each other looked like. I felt your energy. I kind of know what you're all about. I've got a sense of you. I said that thing, and you didn't say an awkward thing back. And it wasn't weird, and it was okay, and I at least felt safe. And now I feel like we could actually see each other, even if just for coffee. Right? We've skipped a bunch of steps that you have to go through online, which, by the way, means if let me give you something that's not intended to be a rule, but something I think you should bear in mind in dating in general, I think we should be reluctant kind of, to go on a date with someone we haven't, at the very least FaceTimed with. How many of you want to save time? A few of you just not there with me yet. Where you'll put your hand up, we're not there. I'll put my hand up in an hour. How many of you want to save time? Okay, yes, because, by the way, your love life, the whole equation is time. The whole equation is time. We May as well be doing a physics lesson here on this stage, because the whole fucking thing is time. We have a limited amount of time. What do we do with it? Who do we give it to? Who's gonna get my precious, precious time? Darwin said, he who is willing to waste an hour has not yet recognized the value of time. That's how important time is. Who am I gonna give an hour to? That's how important time is. Think of who you're giving years to right now, by the way. Think of that shit. Who you gonna give an hour to? Who you gonna give an hour to? Right? That's what it comes down to. I don't want to go on a date with someone that I haven't spent five minutes on FaceTime with. I just don't. If we can't get on FaceTime for five minutes, firstly, what does that say? What does that say? If I can meet you in person but can't do a quick FaceTime call with you, at the very least, a phone call, at the very least, what does that say? Well, Matt, not everyone wants to get on the phone. Oh, then he's a child. Then don't go on a date with that person. What do you think is going to get better? Like, no, no, no. After we've dated, then we're ready for a ph. Don't date that person, but do a phone call. Do a FaceTime. That's where real connections built. That's where you know at least. Ah, okay. We have a little chemistry here. We can actually talk and have some banter. There's something here to play with, to work with.
