Matthew Hussey talks about personal accountability and being your best self regardless of how others treat you. He clarifies the channel focuses on women's dating advice while emphasizing these principles apply universally, and promotes a retreat for deeper personal development.
This message today, and let me make myself very clear right now, is to men and women to say to you, all of you who are interested in growing that we have one of two options in life. One is to respond to average by saying, if other people aren't going to try very hard, I'm also not going to try very hard. The other response to average is to lead, is to say no matter what everybody else is doing, my focus is going to be on being the best I can possibly be. If someone else wants to try and take advantage, be unkind, be selfish, that's on them. They're the ones who have to live with that. But I'm not going to compromise on my loyalty, my generosity, my warmth, my spark as a human being, because everybody else is behaving differently. that to me is the essence of this channel, of these videos. There is something that has been playing on my mind recently, which is my reason for coming to you today to just talk. And by the way, this is going to be a less edited version of, you know, the now normal videos. I have notes here because I really want to get across everything I want to say. But there's something that I've been noticing the feeling a frustration maybe that we're always talking about what women can do and the work that women can do to be their best selves, to meet a great guy, to attract a great person. And that feeling that I know so many people have, which is, well, why is it all on the woman? For example, when we do a video that suggests a really great way of giving a guy a compliment. I will always notice a certain type of comment under that video that says, why is it my job to stroke a man's ego? Why is it all my job to do all of these things to attract a man with no emphasis on what the guy needs to do in return? And I absolutely understand the feeling that that must create and the frustration and the resentment that must create. And I firstly want to come to you and say, if we have ever created the impression that it is on you to simply be all of these wonderful things for a man, and that it's not his job to step up and be all of those things in return, I am sorry, because that was never my intention. And I hate the idea that we have made people feel that way. And it's funny because sometimes I'll do a TV show where the producer will say to me, well, why are you not telling men what they can do as well? Why is it just aimed at women? And there's a really simple answer for that. When I started out, I did work with men. I solely worked with men. And the reason I did is because obviously I felt an affinity with men and the kinds of things they go through. I'd been through all of them myself. But eight years ago, I decided to take a different path and focus my time and attention on women, almost exclusively. That's not because I care more about women than I do about men or because I think that women need more help than men, not at all. It's because I believe in focus and doing what you do really, really well. And the truth is, if I had spent the last eight years trying to serve both women and men, I would have put out a poorer quality of product. I wouldn't have been able to take the issues that a certain audience were facing and distill them down to a set of laser focused ideas that would help that group. That being said, I believe that the truth of the videos that we put out is universal. I think that's the reason why we have so many men who follow our videos. But ultimately this is about being the best version of us. It is not doing all of this to impress the opposite sex or to try to land a partner. I believe that that is a byproduct of being the best person you can possibly be. Not saying why should I have to compliment that person? But saying why wouldn't I want to compliment that person? Why wouldn't I want to make other people feel great in my presence even if they don't give it back to me? And okay, I'll make very clever decisions along the way about who to give myself to because that's a different point, right? And I think you'll agree that 50% of my videos are not even about what you should do proactively to grow. They're about who to avoid, about where to show restraint. about where to stop investing in the wrong person. So I'm always banging that drum that there are lots of people in life who don't deserve the wonderful, beautiful you that you are creating over time. And I also maintain the belief that the best guys and the best women find each other because of their positivity, because of their spark. because of their warmth. But the beacon that those people use to find each other is those great qualities. So if you repress them in yourself, then yes, you may not waste as much energy on the average person who doesn't deserve it, but you'll also be harder to find by the right people. The behavior of other human beings can be incredibly frustrating and it can cause us a lot of pain. But I ask you for a moment to set aside your feelings on what somebody else or the other gender should be doing and instead invite you to answer one simple question. Who do you want to be? Because answering that question to me is the essence of personal responsibility and accountability. And I am here on this journey every week trying to be the best version of me that I can possibly be. You're watching me grow in real time and have been for the last 10 years of my life, which is crazy to live out a piece of me online like this. But for as long as you find it useful to be with me on that journey, I invite you to be with me on that journey and we can do it together as a team, as equals, as human beings, not as men and women, but just as people who want to live our best life. And for those of you that are committed to being a leader in your own life and that personal accountability that we've been talking about, I know of no better way to do that than the retreat program that I have spent the last eight years of my life creating. For anyone who is serious about making the most of this one life that we have, I am urging you to give it a go. to get off the sidelines and to take a bigger journey with me. I'll leave a link at the end of this video. See for yourself what it can do for you. And as always, regardless, I will see you in next week's video.
