Matthew Hussey explains how a single unexpected word in a text can shift the dynamic and get a response. The tactic works because brevity plus intrigue forces engagement, and humor or a surprising reference makes you stand out from routine messages.
But they tell you, don't name it, because then you'll keep it. And of course I had to name him after my favorite comic book, which made it even harder.
What?
Just marinating the view. Oh, so smooth. What the?
The other day I was told a story by someone who had a guy coming in and out of her life constantly. Jesus. What the f*** is that? And she got to a point where she was so sick of him showing investment and then disappearing that one day when he texted her asking her to go to dinner after having disappeared for weeks, she just messaged him back and said, Hey, listen, I like you, but this this dynamic we have where we start things up and then things go away again and then we start them up again, it's just become boring to me. Like it's no longer interesting. So if we're just gonna do the same thing again, let's not bother with this. When I heard that story, I thought that it's such a powerful word to use in that context. 'Cause so often people get angry, they get upset, they get hurt, and then they communicate all of that. And when we do that, in a way, we're still building up someone's ego. We're still showing them that they have a handle on our emotions. You know, you either come back and you get my excitement, or you come back and you get my anger and my frustration. I'm still making you very important in my life, even though you haven't been investing and you shouldn't be important in my life. But when you tell someone this dynamic we have is just boring now, you're shooting down their ego. You're no longer validating that behavior. And so what happens is someone either disappears or they realize in order to attract you, they've got to start showing you a very different kind of investment. So either way you win, they disappear or you get better quality investment. Try it. The next time someone comes back into your life, instead of rewarding it with either a positive excitement, which they haven't earned, or a negative energy, a negative emotion, which shows them that they're still too significant in your life, Try simply telling them that what's going on between you is just boring.
