Shay worries she'll run out of things to say on a first date after texting a lot. Matthew says skip surface questions about jobs and family. Instead, share opinions and reactions to what's around you: movies, books, the restaurant itself. Turn observations into conversation, not facts.
We have Shay on the line today. Shay, are you there?
I'm over here. I can hear you.
Wonderful. How are you lovely? You good?
I am doing great. I'm even more excited now that I'm talking to you.
Well, I'm even more excited now that I'm talking to you. What was your question?
So I have been out of the proper dating scene for a while. I decided to try online dating and I met this interesting guy. We've been talking for maybe over a week and I think through the communication, I feel like we've talked about a lot of topics about each other. And he finally asked me out for breakfast this Saturday. And now I'm scared that I'll fumble through the date because I feel like we've talked about so much, what am I going to talk about? So what unique topics would you encourage me to talk about during the date? I don't want to sound repetitive during the date, having uncovered so much during our texts and communication. I don't know if you can understand my question.
No, I, I absolutely understand your question. I think it's the Dilemma with any conversation is you get through what I think are some of the set pieces of material, like what you do and where you're from and how many brothers and sisters you have and where do your parents live and all of that stuff. You get through that, and then all of a sudden you're faced with, well, how many topics are there for us to cover about each other? Now we feel like we've got all the basics down. I kind of look at it differently, I think. Once I've got some of the basics down with somebody, I actually now have room to get to the really important stuff, to the interesting things like my opinions on life and my opinions on things going on around me. And, you know, we have to get past facts and into opinions.
So, okay.
So what I want you to do.
Is looking at it.
It's interesting, right? So when you go on a date with the guy for breakfast, instead of talking about your facts, because that's what you've already done some of, right? You've talked about the facts of each other's lives. Now you need to get into your opinions. You could be starting from, for example, a movie that you've seen this week. If when he says, you know, hey, how are you? And you say, I'm great. I was just watching this movie last night and whatever the movie is, you start talking about it. You say, have you seen it? Now, if he says yes, you say, what did you think of it? And he says, well, blah, blah, blah. You say, you know what? I hated the fact that they took it this way when I thought the really interesting thing they could have done is this. So you're starting to get into opinions about something instead of facts. And you can use anything that happens in your life as a jump off point for opinions. Could be a book you're reading right now. It could be something you've seen in the news that has struck a chord with you. It could just be something that's going on in the restaurant around you where you are. You know, if you go into the restaurant and there's a particular thing you feel about the restaurant already, if it's playful or funny or Just an observation, then use that as well. Because of course, the current situation around you, what's going on around you is also good information and valuable stuff that you can use for the conversation. Give opinions, okay? Anything you've done this week that's been kind of unique or interesting, give opinions on what you've seen and what you've done this week. And secondly, notice what's going on around you when you get to the restaurant. Notice what you're seeing, what you're feeling. Notice what's happening on the next table that's maybe kind of funny or interesting. Notice something that, you know, the valet said to you in the parking lot, which seemed kind of weird or off or made you laugh. Notice those things and use them as conversational fodder there and then, okay? Does that make sense?
Sounds good. Makes a lot sense.
Thank you so much. You're so welcome. It's a great question. Get past facts, get past logic, and get into emotions. and opinions and observations, and you'll be fine.
Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to your second book, by the way.
I thank. I'm looking forward to writing it when I do. I I I I'm gonna have to actually start writing something, but you can come check out our, our website for all of the latest articles and YouTube videos which are always going up there. That's at howtogetttheguide.com. so always keep coming back and visiting us there.
Okay, thank you so much. It's such a blessing.
All right, Shay, you look after yourself. Thank you for the call.
