In this video Matthew Hussey addresses a common problem many women face: they receive attention from men they’re not interested in while the men they like show little interest. He explains that the root cause for 9 out of 10 women is nervousness around the men they like, which causes them to shut down their charismatic, witty, and spontaneous selves, effectively stopping any flirting. Hussey argues that the biggest flirting mistake is not flirting at all, stemming from a fear of vulnerability. He clarifies that flirting is not a direct confession of love but a subtle, low‑risk “bait‑and‑hook” interaction. Using a workplace coffee‑machine scenario, he contrasts a blunt, direct approach with a playful, teasing line that disqualifies the man while hinting at potential trouble—something he says men find attractive. This bait‑style flirting allows women to stay relaxed, test interest, and avoid the fear of “jumping into the water with sharks.” He concludes by teasing an upcoming program that will provide a library of such bait lines, encouraging viewers to sign up at a provided URL.
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Around 60 million people have now watched these videos. I've flown around the world for the last seven years giving dating advice to women and figuring out what the biggest questions they have are. And here is one of the greatest ones. I always get attention from the guys I don't want and the guys I do want aren't showing me any interest. Why is that? Now the answer to this question is the same for 9 out of 10 women. You know that around the guys you like, you get nervous, much more nervous than you do around the guys you don't like. And when you get nervous, parts of you start shutting down. The charismatic, charming, witty, creative, spontaneous, free-thinking parts of you shut down and get censored, and now you're the most boring version of yourself. In other words, with the person you like, you stop flirting. You stop allowing yourself to create the sexual tension that leads to attraction. So what is the greatest flirting mistake that people make? Not flirting. They stop flirting altogether. Why? Because we don't want to be vulnerable. The idea of showing that we like someone is like death to so many people. It's like swimming with sharks. I'm just gonna jump into the water and get eaten. But here's the problem with that. It shows a misunderstanding of what flirting actually is. 'Cause flirting isn't just running up to somebody and saying, Hey, I like you. We should be together. That's not what flirting is. Flirting is much more subtle than that. Flirting is nuanced. Flirting is like putting a little bit of bait on the tackle and throwing it out there on the line to see who grabs at it. Let me give you an example of this. Let's say that you like a guy at work. I'm not endorsing you going into work right now and ruining your work life, by the way, by making it awkward. But let's just run through this example. Throwing yourself head first is doing this. You walk into the office one day and you see him over there, Dan, his name is. You see him by the coffee machine, he's making himself a lovely little espresso. You look over at Dan and you think, this is my moment. And all of my friends have told me honesty is the best policy, I just need to show him that I like him and let him know. So you walk over there to Dan and you say, Dan, I've been developing feelings for you over the last few weeks and Well, I guess I like you a lot and I think we should go out sometime. Dan looks at you and it's tricky for Dan right now because he either has to say yes to the date to be polite or he has to be like, no, I'm good. I'm gonna go do some accounting. Now, at my desk. Now let's look at the second example where you just throw out a little bit of bait. Dan's over at the espresso machine. You walk over there and maybe you even start with something flirtatious where you say, why are you always hogging the coffee machine when I come to make myself a coffee? And Dan says something flirtatious back because he's a bit of a smoothie and he's like, well, maybe you're the one following me to the coffee machine. Had you ever considered that? and you're like, I'm not following you, just get out of the way so I can make my coffee. Lovely little flirtation right now, by the way. This isn't even my main line, but that's a nice little bit of flirtation right off the bat. And you created it when you went over there and said, you,'re hogging the coffee machine. Then as you're walking away, you say, you know what? It's a good thing me and you are colleagues, 'cause we would be so much trouble for each other. And then you leave. Now, this is a beautiful little flirtatious line. This is the bait in the water because Firstly, you're disqualifying Dan. You're saying, listen, you and I can't be together because, you know, we're colleagues and that's a problem. So we can't have any funny business. But you're also saying, but if we did, we'd be trouble. Dan, in his male brain, all he hears is trouble, you say. Because men love trouble. When you throw out this bait, it's really low effort, low risk for you, because you can sit back and drink a beer on the side of the riverbank and just throw out your line and just wait. That's what flirting is. That's why when people get so scared to flirt, they're forgetting that although flirting is a vulnerable act, it's not jumping in with the sharks. Because you can throw out just a little bit of bait and see if someone bites. If they don't bite, that's fine. You throw out another bit of bait either for that person or for somebody else. Now you're probably wondering, okay, great. How can I figure out more of these little pieces of bait that I can throw out with guys? That's what I want to give you. In the next few days, I have a very exciting announcement for something that really shows you how to do this. It's so easy, anyone can do it, and it allows you to run on an autopilot. Even when you're nervous with the guys you like, you'll know what bait to throw out and save yourself from the censoring that you normally do. All you need to do to be the first to hear about this announcement is go to tellmefirstmat.com, .com. So we'll link that up right here. Click this link right now. Go through to the page and you'll be the first people to hear about this announcement. I'm so excited. Be ready to take your flirting skills to the next level. I'll see you there.
