The Attraction Formula (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

A lot of people have been asking me lately about this concept that I've been really big on in the last year and that's the idea of the attraction formula. Every attraction follows a set formula for how it goes. In other words, there were always the same components in any lasting attraction. Now remember, these components are necessary for long-term attraction, for what we call deep and lasting attraction. You don't need them all for shallow and transient attraction that only lasts a night. Let me give you these four. If you've got a pen and paper right now, I want you to write these down. I'm so big on this idea right now because it's the basis of everything in our love lives. The first thing we need is visual chemistry. Visual chemistry is that animal attraction that you feel when you're in front of someone. Now, this isn't just about looks. People think it is like, oh, I don't have the right amount of visual chemistry because I'm not good looking enough. But I'm here to tell you that the smallest part of this is your looks because it has far more to do with the way you walk, the way you move, the way you gesture, the way you stand, those things. have the biggest impact. And also of course your facial expression, how you emote. See, animation creates attraction and if you understand how to animate in a really powerful way, that's the thing that's going to create the biggest amount of attraction. That's why you can see a picture of someone and not be attracted and then you see them in the flesh and you're like oh, I get it. They're really charismatic, charming, attractive. I find them hot. I didn't in the picture. That's visual chemistry. And there is so much you can do to master visual chemistry that you actually have control of that has nothing to do with looks. The second part is perceived value. What value does someone see you having? Now this is different from saying, well, we're all valuable inside, we're all worth something, that's different. I believe human beings are all worth a lot. That's why I do what I do. But there's a difference between having a great product and being able to sell that product. And many people are not good salesmen of their own product. them. We are the greatest asset we'll ever own. We're also the only asset we'll always own. So if you're the only asset you'll always have, you better learn how to sell you. And perceived value comes down to that. How do I show what I'm worth? How do I show that I have a great lifestyle to someone? How do I show them I have a lot to bring to the table? And how do I do that in a way that comes across natural in conversation? I don't wanna boast about myself, but I need to be able to show someone how much I have to bring to them. The third component is perceived challenge. Now people say, well, isn't it enough that I have perceived value? Why do I have to play games and be challenging? You don't have to play games, but you do have to understand that people value what they earn. If something comes too easily, no matter how valuable it is, people do not respect it and they do not want it in the same way. Every guy has to see that there is a part of you that is challenging, even if it's just in the beginning showing little ways that he has to prove himself to you before you give him the next five minutes or the next day or the next date. It doesn't have to be done in a game playing fashion. Sometimes perceived challenge isn't setting up some hoop for someone to jump through. Sometimes it's just saying to someone, I can't see you as soon as you'd like to see me. You have to wait a little bit. You know, I don't have four hours to see you tonight, but I have half hour if you wanna come and see me in my part of town. There are ways to be challenging that are completely natural and show someone that you're someone they have to earn. The fourth thing is connection. Now you could have all of the first three and someone can think you're a great person and have attraction, animal attraction with you. They could think you're challenging, but if on a deeper level you don't have connection, that's not a relationship that's going to last. You have to understand how to get down to what really drives someone, what are their core motives in life and what are they all about. And that all comes down to the questions that you ask them. What are the questions that get down to who someone really is? And one of the ways to do that is to actually ask someone about what their motives are in life. Rather than asking what they do, ask why they do it. And when you do that, you're going to get to the core of who they actually are. Now look, this attraction formula is something that I could rant on about for hours. You know me by now. You know I could talk and talk and talk. And these concepts are big concepts. But I want you to know that every attraction that you're going to have for the rest of your life with a guy is going to include these four elements if it is to last. this is everything that I have written about in my book, by the way. For those of you that haven't pre-ordered it yet, remember it's out on April the 9th. In my book, I actually go through the attraction formula and I go through each of these four components in detail. So I want to teach you all about those. And in that I have much more time to give you specifics and give you ideas on how to practically put them to use. So look, I will see you really soon. The 9th of April is when the book comes out. I have, as I've been telling you, I have some really special surprises on that day. Stay tuned, watch your email. If you're signed up to my newsletter, you're gonna get some email reminders about that day. If you're not signed up, sign up now so you know. And that's it for today. I will see you real soon. I hope you're doing great. I hope you're having a wonderful day. And take care. .