The Biggest Myth About Strong Women (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

Hi there, welcome to Love Life with me, Matthew Hussey. We have a caller in today. Her name is Patti. Patti, are you there?

I am.

Hello.

Hi.

It's good to have you on the show. Are you excited to be on the show?

I am ecstatic to be on the show. I'm a huge fan of your YouTube videos.

That's so great. That's so great. Well, tell us, what's your question today?

Well, I wanted to ask you a question about the video where you talk about the three types of women. I am the ultra independent type and wanted to know How do I get to the I can do it myself, but would like someone else to do it for me? Can you help me?

Yes, I can. For everyone out there who's wondering what Patty's talking about right now, in the video I talk about three types of women. The first type of woman being the princess who's prissy and needs everything done for her. And I said, she sucks because no one wants to be around someone who always needs everything done for them. The next woman, the woman who's one rung above her, is the woman who's ultra independent who says, I don't need a guy for anything. I don't need someone, anyone to do anything for me. And she sucks, too, because no one wants to be around the woman who doesn't need him. And then there's the top type of woman, the woman who really gets it. And she's the woman who understands that, yes, of course I can do everything. Of course I can make it happen on my own. I'm an independent, strong woman. Of course I can. But it's a lot of fun when I get someone else to do it for me. That's the woman who really gets it. And. And there's a. There's something I said in that video, Patty, which I want you to recognize. 'Cause you describe yourself as an independent woman, right? Yes. Which means your strength on a level of zero to ten as a strong woman, where do you put yourself?

I would put myself at a ten.

Okay. Could you put yourself at a ten whilst not allowing guys to serve you in any way?

Uh, yeah.

Do you think? I'm gonna ask you again.

Okay.

Could you? Patty, put yourself at a 10 even when you don't allow anyone else to serve you. Think about it. You can give me the wrong answer again if you want, by the way. It's fine.

Okay. I've just been so pre- I've just been so programmed for so long. So it's hard to kind of feel like a relinquishing that independence.

What do you do? What do you do for a job?

I'm a virtual assistant. I'm an entrepreneur.

You're an entrepreneur. What's your goal being an entrepreneur?

Well, my business goal or a personal goal?

Business goal.

Business goal. Well, I want to make a lot of money and have everything I want in life.

So you want to make a lot of money in your business?

Yes, I do.

How many people work for you right now?

None right now.

Ah, how do you grow that business?

I know. That's what I'm trying to work on right now.

When that business grows and you suddenly have too many clients, what do you have to do?

I have to hire help.

Hmm, hire help. Because that's how you grow a business.

Yes.

The best CEOs in the world are the ones that understand that in order to grow their business, they need more employees. They need people to serve them. They need people to help. They need to reach out. They need to ask for things. That's how they grow a business.

Mm-.

The people who never grow a business, the people who never get past being an entrepreneur on their own out there trying to make it. They're the people that cannot hand over control, cannot delegate. They're the ones that can't ask for help. And as a result, they always stay where they are, which is fine. They're okay. They may make a mediocre living, but they never grow that business that's going to give them everything they want, which is what you just described, pay. You want to make a lot of money and get everything you want. Now think about that in the context of your relationship. When you're out, how approachable are you?

I've been told I've not been approachable because I have been setting out those vibes that I don't need anybody.

Right. So what if, and by the way, when you're out, do you want to have fun?

Yes.

Do you want to have fun interactions with people that have energy and life and excitement and flirtatiousness and all of that stuff?

Yes. Right.

So you do need other people.

Right.

You know this. You need other people. This is essential. I'm a strong person, but I need other people in my life. I need my family, I need my friends, I need lovers, I need girlfriends, I need all of that stuff, because that's what makes me happy, is other people in my life. So I'm humble enough to admit that I need other people. And I don't believe, Patty, that you're so arrogant that you couldn't admit that either.

Right.

Do you need other people?

I certainly do.

So let's start acting like it, deal?

Okay.

So when you're out, When you're out, firstly, you're going to need to make yourself approachable. Let's discuss just a couple of ways of doing that real quick. One, eye contact. Now that means actually looking guys in the eye when you're out. And women too, by the way, don't just say, well, this is just about guys. This is about everybody right now. If you're unapproachable to guys, you're probably unapproachable to women too. So start looking at people, start making eye contact with people. Now that eye contact has to be aligned with a facial expression.

Right?

A facial expression which is you smiling or at least you having that glint in your eye. Whenever you see someone that has charisma, you'll notice there is a certain energy in their face. You'll never see someone with charisma isn't always big and loud and obnoxious. Sometimes they're quiet, but there is a look in their eye. There is a glint. There's an energy just to their facial expression that means we look at them and think they have charisma. You've got to start carrying that in your own facial expression. One of the best ways to do that is When you're out, start thinking about things that you enjoy in life. Start thinking about things that excite you. Or even just think about a joke or a story someone told you that day that made you laugh. In fact, if you're with friends, tell that story, tell that joke, 'cause you're gonna be in that fun giggly state when you look across the room and see someone else. Second part is touch. You gotta start actually touching people. How often do you do that when you meet someone?

Not very much.

Right, so we've got to get a little more tactile with people. When you meet someone in the first 30 seconds, I want you to make it your mission to touch them.

Okay.

Where are you gonna touch them, Patty?

Shake their hand.

No, no, it's not just gonna be shaking their hand. This is not a business meeting. This is not a business meeting, this is socializing.

I know, touch their arm.

Wear on their arm.

On their forearm?

On their forearm. That's not bad. On the inside is even better. If you can get in on the inside, that's great. That's perfection. Okay. On the outside's a little bit platonic, but that's fine. If that's where you're going to graduate from the handshake, I'm happy. But if you can go for the inside, that's great too. So touch perfect, right? Little touch here and there. Okay. Be prepared to, if you see a guy and you like something he's wearing, he's got an accessory on or a nice watch or a nice blazer or something, compliment him on that thing. And not in like a controlling, sarcastic way or anything like that. Just compliment him in a way of saying, by the way, you look, that blazer looks great on you. If you walk into every room socially from now on with this mindset that your goal is to give value, not to take value, you'll do just fine. Because whenever you're going in and you're scared and you go into business mode and you're still trying to impress because you're worried about going into a mode which isn't the norm for you right now, So you go into business mode where you know you're kind of impressive.

Right.

But you shouldn't be trying to impress. You should be trying to give value. Ultimately, and I'll tell you right now, Patty, this is going to help you not just in your love life, but in your business life. If you can be someone who knows how to ask for help, your whole life is going to change. There is nothing weak about asking for help. In fact, it makes you so strong to allow yourself to be served. Let me just clarify this because I'm going to leave you to go away and practice this.

Okay.

Let me clarify it. Needing someone doesn't mean you'd be hopeless without them. I know you're a survivor. I know you're a strong woman. So I know that you'll be fine no matter what. That's not the point. The goal of life is not to be fine. The goal of life is to make it incredible. So go out there and ask for help and know that the worst that can happen is that you get refused or rejected and you move on to someone else who meets your standard in life. Patty, thank you so much for not only calling and being so honest, but also bringing these really important issues to light. I know if you're listening right now, there will be so many of you out there who will be feeling the same things that Patty is feeling. So I want you to remember, make eye contact, smile at people, touch people, don't be afraid to give compliments. And of course, what all of this amounts to is giving value and allowing yourself to be the vulnerable one in the relationship, knowing that you'll always be strong enough to get through it no matter what happens. Thank you, Patty, for bringing that to light. Thank you all for listening. And if you want a question answered, call in 844-204-6288 that spells Matt, by the way, at the end. That's 844-204-Matt. I can't wait to speak to you personally. I'll see you soon, guys.