Breakups hurt because you lose not just a person but the future you imagined together and the deep need they seemed to fill. The pain is natural, not a failure. Understanding what your partner represented can help you move through it with compassion instead of shame.
When we lose something we don't. We didn't just lose a person. We lost a future that we thought we were going to experience. And that's what hurts so badly, is that for a moment, that person, it felt like they were the salve to this need that we have had our whole lives. This person came along, and they felt like the answer. Of course you're heartbroken. Don't beat yourself up for being heartbroken. Don't shame yourself for being heartbroken. Don't judge yourself for being heartbroken. It's not really about this person. It feels like it is. But what it's really about is that if this person represented something, and the feeling I got with them felt like the answer to something that I've been looking for my whole life.
