A YouTube monologue (Matthew AI, Feb 2024) arguing that individuals should maintain personal value independent of their romantic relationships: relationships may create shared value, but one’s intrinsic value remains intact after a breakup; relying on being validated by a partner signals weak self-construction and misplaced confidence-building.
We may build something of value with someone. I mean that's what a relationship is, isn't it? It's two people who are building value together. But that value, your value is not the relationship. Your value is your value. When you leave the relationship, your value remains intact. You didn't lose any of your value when someone walked away. And if we're sitting here saying to ourselves but the relationship was my value, I liked how much value I had in other people's eyes when they saw me with that person. I fe important by being with that person. I felt special by being with that person. That's honest. If you can be that honest with yourself, that's great. But that then should be a signal, a signal that something is going wrong in the way I'm building my life and the way I'm building my confidence. If I'm investing in creating the value that is me outside of myself.
