In this conversational video, Matthew AI and several participants discuss the challenges of dating and social life in Los Angeles. The speakers agree that the primary obstacle to meeting romantic partners is a lack of a supportive social circle; many people feel isolated and assume they should already have friends. Matthew proposes concrete tactics—most notably a fortnightly happy‑hour gathering—to create a community that can organically introduce new people. The dialogue also touches on the unique culture of LA: a city filled with talented, ambitious newcomers who constantly chase the "next better thing," which fuels both competition on looks and a pervasive mindset of perpetual improvement. The speakers argue that shifting focus from superficial competition to personal growth, and proactively building community where none exists, can transform the dating landscape. Throughout, the tone is conversational and encouraging, emphasizing that despite common pessimism, it is a wonderful time to date and live in LA if one adopts the right mindset and social strategies.
Chapters
I have a place here. I love it here. This is my second home. I keep trying to figure out where I want to live and I keep coming back here because I can't quite find anywhere I want to be more.
See the vlog sites.
Oopy woo.
Got a new wife. Shorty got a new boo. Yeah, love.
Beautiful, but love, love, love, love, love. I'm happy being single, but I wish that I could find you. Until I find it, I'm just fine with just me. I ain't got no childish play. I'm looking for love.
There are problems with any place you live in. And I was sat with six wonderful women before this event, just trying to get a read on their take on this place. Wherever I go, I always want to tailor what I do to the place that I'm in. I don't want to just give an off script piece. I want to figure out what you going through here in la.
I've had some experience dating in la, but I want to get the woman's.
Experience dating and la. I didn't quite get that connection because it really isn't dating here. I just think it's like a unicorn. It's a beautiful thought, but it just doesn't happen.
Where are we interacting with these people? I mean, where are you guys finding if? Anywhere right now? And I totally accept that it may be nowhere. I've had times in my life in LA where I thought, God, I'm not meeting anyone. But where do you find, where would you bump into people or do you in your life? Nowhere.
The grocery store.
Yeah.
I think the whole car culture is.
Also a factor that you're not interacting with people.
You'Re not building community.
Get into your box and you drive. Wherever you're going, you get out of your box and you go into your building.
It really.
I think that element might just be the hardest.
For a long time in la, I didn't meet women because I didn't have friends. Because when I on a Friday or a Saturday actually wanted to go and do something and be in a social environment where I might meet people, I didn't have anyone to go with.
Sometimes I think the hard part about being an adult is we feel like we're supposed to have friends already. Right. We feel like we're supposed to have those great people in our lives already. And the idea of like starting again and going out and building that, we almost pity ourselves a little bit. We feel a bit sad, like, God, I have to go and like forget like, what is one thing saying I really want someone to share my life with. It's another thing being like, I want some friends. That's tough for most people, but actually the thing that I feel comes before meeting the love of our life in a place like LA is having that group. Because when we have that group going out, meeting people, all of that actually becomes a lot easier.
I recommend having a fortnightly happy hour where every 14 days you do an after work drinks just for you and whoever you know, your friends, colleagues, whoever. If two people show up, fine, it doesn't matter. But from five to seven, oh, we're just getting a few people together. From five to seven you should come join. That's it. You could do the same with men, by the way. You meet someone, you think they're cute. What's less risky than being like, oh, I'm getting together with some friends tomorrow night, feel free to come along. The happy hour thing gives you things to bring people to LA is a.
It's like billion of opportunity, right? People come here to find the next best thing and improve themselves and reinvent themselves. So I think that what's interesting about LA is that there's always, there's this feeling that there's always something better than whatever you have.
People say, I live in la, so I have all of these problems in terms of people are always looking for the bigger, better deal. They're always looking for the better thing. They have so many beautiful people to choose from. Usually the answer to everything in life is the same. The answer to everything in life is either change your mindset about it or be better. Those two are usually the answers to everything. There's so many good looking people around me. Be better, maybe stop competing on looks, stop competing on looks and start competing on something else. Make the best of what you have and then compete on something real, something that actually does hold people because we all know that looks don't.
I think what all of this is amounting to is that there is something to be said about being much more doubly proactive in la, about creating community where they're is none.
People don't say this enough about la. Yes, the LA is a town full of struggling people, but guess what? It's a town of talented people. Louisiana is a town of people who come from all over the world because they were the best in their town at something and said, I want to be in a pool of people where I'm not the best anymore. I want to be in a pool of people where what was good in my little town is nothing to these people. What an amazing peer group that is to be around, by the way. So I think we have to start from by appreciating where we are. Ladies, this is a wonderful time to date. No matter what anyone tells you. Stop reading the articles that tell you that it's doomsday in the dating world.
Right?
This is a wonderful time to date, it's a wonderful time to be alive, and this is a wonderful place to live. When we start there now, we can actually start making some progress.
