The Secret To Feeling Good About A Year That's Passed

Hey, guys, it's Matthew. I wanted to make a video for you for the end of the year, or at least our penultimate video before the holidays, to just wish you the greatest time and I guess reflect a little bit on what it means to be the end of a year. It's an arbitrary time in many ways, in the same way that the new year is so arbitrary. But we give things significance based on where they are in the year. And sometimes that's useful in the same way that a holiday can be useful. Not because we don't, not because we can't celebrate each other the rest of the year, because of course we can, and we should. We shouldn't be waiting for that moment. But holidays remind us of the people that we care about and of the things that matter in our lives. In the same way that someone's birthday reminds us of them and that they matter and sometimes gets us to write something down for them that we wouldn't normally write down for them. It's a little reminder, and I think sometimes that's important. And as we lead up to the end of the year, now, one of the things that has been important to me and may be important to you too, is I can fall into the trap of first December being that month where you go, oh, my God, I've got to tie up all of these loose ends before the end of the year, before the new year hits and before everyone goes off for their holiday. I've got so many things I've got to do and tie up, and I've been in that trap a little bit this month of thinking that way, how many things do I need to get done before the end of the year? Now, that's not to say that we can't keep pushing until the. The final bell at the end of this year, because there was a quote I read the other day. I think we may even have posted it, but it was, you know, this is the final chapter of your year, so make it a beautiful one, make it a perfect one. This is our last chapter that we get to write of this year. And that's kind of amazing and exciting and fun, and it doesn't have to mean that, you know, how many, how many things can I get done now before the year ends? It can also mean, what do I write in this chapter about my life and about what I'm excited about and what moments of reflection do I have now at the end of the year? And what moments of love do I now have at the end of the year in this final chapter? Not everything in life is about getting things done. We all fall into the trap of sometimes thinking that life is just about a to do list and it doesn't have to be. I want us to take a moment, or I'd love for you to take a moment with me to not be so quick to move from our perceived failings of this year, of what we didn't achieve and what we didn't get done, and before we move into the desires of next year, what we want to do in 2015 and what has to change. I'd like us to take a moment to stop and take stock of what's happened this year and what we're proud of, what victories we've had this year. You know, a year just passed another one, and we're still here. If you're watching this video, we're still here. We made it. And I know that just as there are things that didn't go well for you this year and there were things that you didn't get done and there were things that you may feel like you failed at, that there are things that you did do, there are victories that you did have. And I think that's an incredible thing. I have some noise going on behind me, but that's fine. We're in New York. I think that's an incredible thing that we did get things done. And Jameson actually said to me the other day, he's carrying around a journal right now and he's been writing down. We went to a restaurant here in New York the other night and after the restaurant he wrote down the name of, he said to me, what's the name of the restaurant? We wrote it down and he said, I'm writing it down because I realized that so many things happen for me that I just don't remember. Even good times, you know, like there's so many parts of my life day to day that I just lose forever. And that's such a sad thing. So I'm making a journal. I'm not setting myself the over ambitious task of writing about every experience I have because sometimes that stops us from doing it in the first place. But he said, instead, I'm just writing down the places and the people and the things that I did just so that if nothing else, I have a list of all of these places I went so I can jog my memory if I want to go back to it. I kind of want to do that in a mini form right now for this year, you know. What did you achieve this year? What happened for you this year that you feel proud of, where you can look at that period of time and say, wow, look how far I've come in this area. You may not feel like you've come far in every area, but that's okay. That's always going to be the case. There are going to be some areas where you progress massively in a year and other areas where you decide to refocus a little bit for next year. But what did you do this year? What are you proud of? What you grateful for that happened this year? Who are you grateful for this year? Who are you grateful is still around? Who loves you? Who's on your side? What experiences are you grateful for this year? What lessons are you grateful for this year may have been things that went well and you learned a lesson about what worked, or it may even be a lesson about what didn't work. You know, we have to be real about life. Life. We don't just get to be grateful for the good things. Sometimes we get to be grateful for the bad things as well. And actually, to me, the people that are the happiest, they're the ones that really train themselves to get grateful about the negative things that happen. I know that there will be some negative things that happen for you this year alongside the amazing things. There'll be maybe people that hurt you. Maybe there'll be people you lost altogether, maybe just out of your life, or maybe lost to life. Maybe there'll be things that you feel like you failed at. Painful experiences where you tried something and it didn't work, where you've become frustrated with something that continues not to work even though you put effort into it. And sometimes we can get grateful for those things. Grateful for the fact that we're still here, grateful for the fact that we loved that person in the first place enough to even care about them or be hurt by them enough that we had the experience in the first place and that taught us that we can have it again next year. Because no experience of life is so unique that it can't happen again. The fact that it happened that means that it can happen again. Maybe the frustration of trying at something constantly is something that reminds you how strong you are, that you can keep going, that you can endure for whatever it is you think is important in life. I said in a video some time ago that passion comes from the word party. To endure or to suffer. And I believe that we suffer for our passions. We endure for our passions. They're not all great all the time. They're not all roses. Sometimes they're the things we hate the most. Me and Jameson have been doing. This is the first year ever that we have done a video every week of the year without fail. In fact, this year we did two every week because we did an iHeartRadio video on a Wednesday, and we did a blog video like this one on a Sunday. And I set myself a challenge and we sat down and we said, this year we have to do it every week without fail. That's going to be part of our mission, is to form that ritual of doing it every week and not having an excuse for not doing it. And we did that. We did that. We did it every single week. We didn't miss one week. Even when it was difficult or when I was traveling or Jameson was traveling, we still made it happen. And every week of the year. And sometimes that sucked. Sometimes we would have to make a video even though we had no inspiration. We would sit there and think, what the f are we going to talk about today? We've just made 40 videos in a row. What do we talk about today? And we'd have those moments of inspiration or lack of inspiration, or there'd be moments when we were tired or there'd be moments where I was sick. I'm not going to tell you which videos they were, but there was some. There was a couple of videos where I was so sick, so ill that day that I was. I was doubled over on the floor minutes before Jameson hit record. And I said to him, like he was looking at me, and I said to him, listen, whenever we hit record, you just need to tell me because I need to stand up and do this video and then go back down to the floor. And I stood up and my eyes were watering and my nose was stuffy in my head and I felt nauseous and. And we got up and we did the video, and I hated it at the time. It sucked. But that's. Sometimes that's passion, you know, that we think that when we're in pain, it's because we're doing the wrong thing. That's not always the case. Sometimes you're doing the right thing and it sucks. So all this is to say that part of the beauty of a year is not just in the good, it's in the bad. And that we should take a moment at the end of this year and not be in such a hurry to get to 2015 that we don't just stop for a moment and think about the amazing year that we've just had and the growth and the good and the bad and the people and the achievements and the failures and the experiences. There are so many hidden lessons in this year and it's always a shame when people forget the past, because the past is this rich tapestry that you get to go back to where there are little gems that you'll keep finding that you didn't even realize were there at the time that teach you something. Why is it we read the great philosophers from thousands of years ago? Why is it we study people that are long passed away? It's because there continue to be gems of wisdom and richness in the experiences of things that have already happened. Just as we do that with a philosopher of 2000 years ago, we get to do the same with the last 360 roundabout days of our year. We get to do the same with that. And that's a beautiful thing. So take a moment. Take a moment. If it's five minutes now, if it's an hour tomorrow, if it's a whole day to just sit and think about your year, maybe make a list, write about it, and think about the beauty that was there both visible and hidden in your amazing year in 2014. We are going to round off this year with a little bit of fun. We thought we'd do something a little light hearted to cap off the year. We've done so many serious, well, kind. We've done a few ridiculous videos this year, but always coupled with a serious message if you can find it. But this year we wanted to end with something a bit funny. So next week, tune in, check your email if you're not on our email by now. By the way, be there. Go to howtogettheguy.com advice and sign up, check your email, check YouTube, check the blog and we'll have something funny for you coming this week. I hope you've had a wonderful year, guys. I know you have if you search for it. And I'm excited. I'm excited that you're still here. I'm excited that we continue building this community of incredible people. I'm excited that Even when that 10% of people comes in to be ultra negative or ultra crazy and say weird or angry or vicious things, that there are so many of you out there who are so positive and excited and enjoy real debate, intelligent debate, that you're quick to defend important ideas. Because I see that to me more than anything, and I guess maybe we've never said it like this, but more than anything, I believe that this is a place where we get to defend and promote important ideas and I don't always get to do that on TV when I've got four minutes and I have to be lowest common denominator in everything I say. I know some of you have seen that side of me, but here we get to do it our way. This is our show. This is our show, and we get to do it the way we want it to be. And I think that's very, very exciting. And if you keep coming back in 2015 and supporting me and you give me someone to talk to, I will keep coming back with what I believe to be truth and authenticity and will keep admitting when I'm wrong and when I screw up. And we'll keep telling you about my own faults and problems, as well as the things that I might be doing well at any time. And we'll keep creating this place that cuts through the bullshit of life and all of the noise that's out there and have this wonderful group of people that is an incredible peer group who keep growing together. So thank you, guys. I love you. Thank you for an incredible, incredible year. And I can't wait to start the new one with you. I'll see you soon.