The Secret to True Confidence (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

This video is for you if you feel like no matter what you've done to improve your confidence, be it in your external appearance or what you've achieved in your life, how many new relationships you've gotten with friends or family or partners, your internal deep level confidence has never really improved in the way that you wanted it to. The same insecurities that have always haunted you are still there. I'm going to take you right now to a live clip from a seminar I did recently in Melbourne, Australia, where there was a woman in the room who had exactly this issue. In my answer, I give her a model for confidence that is going to help you too. And watch to the end of this clip because afterwards I'm going to join you back here on this sofa with a free gift that is going to show you how to take that model and begin implementing it today.

I remember that you say something on your video, you said if you're living an extraordinary life, having someone great is just a byproduct. So for me, in my life, I always focus on how to be the best version of myself. And I find that something always stops me from getting the best version of myself is not confident enough. So how to be really just confident, not just fake it, but really, really from the bottom of our hearts, just be confident.

I think that's a great question. How do I learn how to be confident at the deepest level? I always teach there's three levels of confidence. There's the surface level. The surface level is how other people perceive you. It's all the things you do on the surface. The lifestyle level is what you do in your life that gives you confidence. Skills, hobbies, work. family, friends, all the things you derive confidence from. The deepest layer is the core. And the core is the layer that if you get that figured out makes you the next best thing to invincible emotionally. Now it doesn't stop you going through pain, but what it does do is it means you can lose things and you know at the bedrock of your confidence you'll still be okay. That, getting to that place that you're talking about is an emotional process, not a logical one. Okay? And this isn't me selling you, this is just me giving it to you how it is. The reason I do that on my retreat is because it's an emotional process and it takes me five days to get people there. It's not something that in two hours in a room like this I can do for people. Because I studied this for years because I was fascinated by the answer to that question. What makes someone truly confident on almost an unconditional level so that your confidence wasn't tied to whether this person said yes or no to you, right? It came from within. True internal validation. I studied that for years. And what I learned about that, I put on that program. But I take people on an emotional journey to get there because there's some things that logic doesn't solve. If logic solved everything, then, you know, Telling someone on the front of a cigarette packet that you're gonna die would stop people smoking. But it doesn't. Logic isn't enough. You have to control people's emotion. But emotion is a more subtle process to transform yourself emotionally. So logically, you might know you're enough. And everyone might tell you you're enough. But for whatever reason, no matter what happens in your life, no matter how much you achieve, no matter how many facials you get to make your skin look great, no matter how much you go to the gym to lose weight, no matter what you do, It still doesn't solve that problem of your own self-worth. That's what I do for people on the retreat. And it just takes longer. But thank you. Wait, you're coming? Oh, fucking great. All right. Why did you put me through all of that?

But.

Let'S start from tonight. What is that's something I can do from tonight every single day?

Between now and the retreat, the one tip I can give you between now and the retreat in October is start being more kind to yourself. In all the little ways that you can be, start being more kind to yourself. Like, Neilam, is it Neilam? Neilam, you know, it's hard enough to miss this guy or to feel like It sucks that you've been back there over and over again without beating yourself.

Up for feeling that.

And that's what we do. We do twice. We beat ourselves twice. Once with the feeling and once for feeling the feeling.

Right?

Because you're going, why do I miss and still? Why am I feeling this? Being kinder to yourself is allowing yourself to feel that and experience that and not demonize yourself for it. Recognize that, hey, it's actually a gift that you're the type of loving person that can feel on that level and so many people I know because I meet them all the time have numbed themselves to feeling what you're feeling right now. They've made themselves numb so they can't even feel pain like that. Give yourself props for being courageous, courageous enough to actually feel pain and care about someone that much and feel that connected to someone and not shut yourself off to love and recognize that now it's about steering that energy in a more productive direction. But don't beat yourself up for feeling those feelings, because if you didn't miss him, if you didn't feel connected to him, if you didn't feel all of that, you also wouldn't be capable of loving the next person that's going to come along who's going to be better.

Right?

So it's about being kind. Be kind to yourself along the way, especially when things are going wrong. And if you're kinder to yourself, you start to like yourself more. And when you start to like yourself more, you're onto something. All right?

Thank you.

Thank you. If this is resonating with you and you feel you're onto something with this, I have a free training that goes deeper on the three levels of confidence. All you have to do to get the free training is go to getcoreconfidence.com I cannot wait for you to see this. The information that I give in this free training is stuff that you will use every day for the rest of your life.

So go check it out.

It's at getcoreconfidence.com and I will see you there right now.