This is a YouTube video titled "The Strange Secret to a Happy Relationship: Trash Cans (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)" created on October 5, 2019. The content features Matthew AI delivering a monologue or talk about relationships, focusing on the importance of everyday details (metaphorically called "trash cans") over grand romantic moments ("Space Mountain") in determining relationship happiness. There is also a secondary speaker who briefly interacts with Matthew AI, but the main content is a reflective talk rather than a multi-speaker conversation.
Chapters
This isn't fantasy. This isn't building a castle in the sky. The idea of love. The idea of what we could be. The one day wager. I call it the one day wager. The one day. I'm making a wager that one day you'll be what I want you to be. One day you'll invest in me the way I want you to. One day you'll change. The one day wager is the most dangerous wager you can possibly Making your love life. The real shit is what's going on now. Is someone trying? Do they want to be here? Are they focused on the little shit, not just the big shit? Because anyone can go and have a... People say, but when it's great, it's crazy. When we go, like, we go, we've been on some amazing dates or we did that vacation. We had the best time. It was amazing. Of course, you were on fucking vacation. Anyone can go to Disney World and have a great time. It's Disney World. Right? That's the job of the place, is to make sure you have a great time no matter who you're with. Right. Right. But... You know what? When I was 13, I had a... like... When I was, I think I was 12 or 13, my parents took me to America for the first time. And we came to Florida. Where do you think we went? We went to Disney World. And I was massively excited, you know? I was so excited. I was excited to be in America. I was excited to see the things I'd seen on TV. Excited to see the references to movies I'd seen. Excited for the rides. We go into Disney World and I learned something very interesting about myself there. Because of course I go in there, it's magical, it's oh my god, this is crazy, it's huge.
You're taking a photo with Mickey.
You've got Space Mountain. Yeah, there's Mickey there, there's all these dazzling attractions. But it was something that stood out to me even more than Space Mountain. Even more than the big ride. And it was the trash cans.
Oh yeah.
On some level that maybe I couldn't fully articulate at that age, I saw the trash cans and I was moved by it. I said, Someone cared enough about this place to theme the trash cans. The trash can in Tomorrowland is a futuristic trash can. The trash can in, you know, Indiana Jones land or whatever it's called is a tiki bamboo trash can. The trash cans were different depending on where you were.
It's amazing.
Someone cared so much about the detail of that world that they styled and themed the trash cans. It moved me. I've never forgotten that.
Wow.
The trash cans in life. and I've thought about that endlessly in my business. When I do retreat, I just got back from my retreat. And, you know, someone came. I told this story on the retreat. Someone came to me at the end of the retreat because of all the little details we put on the retreat, you know, the little. It's not just a. It's not just a seminar, an event. It's. We hold parties and inside experience. It's an immersive world. It's like it. It's. It's. We like to think we've created the immersive theater of the self-development world. And someone came up to me at the end of this retreat and said, you, achieved trash can status.
Mmm.
And it... That's big. The 13-year-old in me wanted to cry.
Wow, that's amazing.
Right? And it moved me again and I thought, that's what I want. I thought about this even today as I was coming here and I was like, you know what? This absolutely applies to relationships too. Often in a breakup, often when people are going through difficult times with their partner or whatever, the thing they go back to is we had that amazing trip. But we had those amazing times. They go to these highlights. They go to the space mountain of their relationship. Remember when we met Mickey? It's that, right? The meeting Mickey moment of their relationship. But relationships are about the trash cans, man. It's the trash cans. Yeah. Because guess what? In a day at Disney, you ride Space Mountain once, maybe twice. How many times do you use the trash cans?
Every day. All the time.
Every 20 minutes, every 30 minutes. It's the trash cans. What will define your relationship is the trash cans, not Space Mountain.
The lower moments. The messy moments.
The micro attractions. The moment where we do something sweet, where we think of our partner when we didn't need to, and we worry about the the day they had or support them or even just support them silently or in private, you know, or support them by what we don't bring to them. It's that, it's the detail. It's the detail. And that's what's going to determine how great your life is. And my concern is, and we've all been there, my concern is the number of people out there who are staying in the wrong thing Because of the Space Mountain of the relationship.
The few moments that were magical.
Or they're spending too much time grieving the loss of the wrong thing. Because all they remember is Space Mountain.
Interesting.
But they don't think of how shitty the trash cans were. And the trash cans, that's the stuff. That's the day to day. How good was it day to day? This is the difference between being in love and being happy.
What is the difference between love and happiness?
You can be in love and be really unhappy.
Be suffering inside and be in love.
You can have constant be in love and be having a relationship that's causing you constant anxiety, constant heartache, constant pain, feeling overlooked, not feeling important. You can be in love and all of those things still be true. How crazy is that? We think that love is this thing where it's like, It's rational, like, I'm gonna love, I'm gonna be in love with this person who brings me joy. Not true. And we need to start worrying more about happiness. Because if someone isn't building with you, if someone isn't committing to actually building the castle with you, that's the quality of your life. Yeah. Not how in love you are.
You might love certain things about them. You might have loved the date you went on. You might have loved them, the Space.
Mountain or the certain characteristics they have.
Sex was incredible.
How charming they how charismatic, how whatever. It doesn't mean that you're happy day to day. It's a big difference.
