The Surprising Way to Become Instantly More Attractive (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)
In this raw, unedited video, Matthew AI (the speaker) reflects on how to become instantly more attractive by embracing criticism and imperfections rather than avoiding or justifying them. He recounts a conversation about a spray‑tan video that sparked negative comments about the contrast between his orange‑tanned arms and his white hands, and explains why he deliberately left that flaw visible to condition himself for future negativity. Using a boxing metaphor, he describes how repeated exposure to criticism builds emotional toughness, allowing one to stay confident when real setbacks occur. He argues that true attractiveness stems from confidence despite physical flaws, and that constantly seeking perfection erodes that confidence. The speaker urges viewers to own their insecurities, avoid justifying personal choices, and share a self‑conscious physical trait in the comments as a collective exercise in empowerment. Throughout, he emphasizes authenticity, raw presentation, and the power of mental resilience to transform criticism into leadership and increased social appeal.
Chapters
So I was just driving down the street with Jameson, and he said to me, did you, did you see the comments on the latest blog video? And I said, well, the comments where? He said, the comments on YouTube. And I said, no, not really, because I don't have a habit of reading YouTube comments. I, when I, I kind of learned a long time ago that it's best not to where you can avoid it. You obviously want feedback on things, but you don't want too many comments swirling around your head because of course very often comments tend to lean negative and not in productive ways, not in constructive ways. So I'm big on protecting my energy, which I think we all should be. Your energy is really precious and you mustn't let the bombardment of negativity affect that and wherever you can you should just try and stay away from it. And so I said no, I haven't read the comments. And he said oh, there were a lot of comments on the fact that you had had a spray tan and your hands were this ghostly white and the rest of your body was really orange. And I think he thought he was going to be surprising me when he said this, but the reality was I already knew there would be a ton of comments about that because four days, by the way, If you haven't seen the video, go back and watch it now, see what I'm talking about and then come back. In fact, no, let me get through this message and then you can do it at the end of the video and you can write a comment about it. So I already knew this was going to happen because I watched the video, I watched the edit of the video four days before it was released and I saw immediately I was like, that's going to be the thing that gets commented on is the the difference in color between my hands and my arms. And I wanted to tell I wanted to bring this up to you guys because in that moment I made a conscious decision knowing that that's one of those things in a video that's going to be commented on a lot. I made the conscious decision to put it out there anyway. The reason Jameson didn't know that I knew that was because I never even mentioned it to him. I just in my head, I went, ah, just put it out there. I don't care. The reason that I do that is not because I'm impervious to criticism or negativity or self-consciousness created by the comments of other people. The reason that I choose still to put it out there and I do this with many things, is because I like being conditioned for toughness when it comes to criticism. In other words, you know, I box a lot. I box four or five times a week. And in boxing training, there are days where you stand there and someone will, you'll put your hands up and someone will hit your stomach 50 or 100 times in order to keep conditioning your muscles to tense up and get strong and be able to take that kind of a punch. So it's a form of conditioning is to get you strong so that when you're actually in the ring and someone throws a punch, it doesn't catch you so off guard because you've already been used to the conditioning process. Well, I try and see life like that as well. Those little moments, although they seem small, are a good moment for me to experience criticism or mockery or, you know, people deciding to make something unimportant, the focus, it allows me to feel all of that and condition myself for toughness so that it doesn't bother me. Because, by the way, there'll be a time when I actually do something wrong. Like, there'll be a time when I screw up, there'll be a time when something really doesn't go my way, and I'll get a wave of negativity. I'm sure it will come at some point. This will Jameson, this is going to be like a prophetic video now for when it does happen. We'll be able to come back to this video and reference me saying it. But there will be a time, there is a time for everyone when that happens. And when it does happen, I don't want to be caught off guard by bad energy. I want to already be tough to it, already be conditioned for it. So that was why I never even mentioned it to Jameson. I was like, it was a stupid thing, but I was like, I know this is going to be a focus for a ton of people, but let's put it out there anyway. By the way, I think it's important that we all get tough to those moments and learn not to try and make everything perfect all the time. I have a spot right here on my nose right now. Let's see if I can see it in the mirror. Jameson, you want to zoom in on that? You feel free. There's a spot I have right here. I think I have a spot up here. Yeah, I got a spot there as well right now. I'm actually, for me, my body isn't in shape right now, not the way I want it to be. I haven't trained a lot in the last few weeks. I've been eating like a pig, traveling around, consuming a ton of sugar, and I'm not in the best shape of my life. Someone even pointed out in a recent video, they were like, Matt's looking so skinny these days. that's okay. That's okay. We have to be okay with these things. It's never going to be perfect. We, now look, we all want to look our best. I get that. And we're all trying to look our best most of the time. And there's no shame in that. There's no shame in that. I want to look at, I want to look my best the same way you do. So there's no difference there. But taking pride in your appearance and wanting to look your best is not the same thing as becoming distressed when you're not at your best and allowing the negativity of everyone to affect you in immense ways. And that's something I will continue conditioning myself against. Again, not because I'm infallible, not because I never feel the pain of other people's comments or what people say or little jabs that people have from an anonymous place somewhere where they can say whatever they want. It's not that I'm never ever affected by those things. It's that I want to lean into those things. I want to face those things head on. I even want to welcome them because then it's on my terms. If I'm, if I can, if I can shed light on those things myself on or understand ahead of time, like, yeah, I'm putting this out there knowing that this might be a comment I'll get, then it's another way of owning it. It's another way of shining a light on it and saying, yeah, you can bring me bad energy, but it's going to be on my terms. And I think we all need to not just be okay with criticism and bad energy, but almost see it coming and don't try and make everything perfect. Allow for the fact that, yeah, there are certain parts of your body you like. There are certain little moments of self-consciousness that you will experience moments of insecurity based on something you have or something that's there on your face right now but won't be tomorrow but you wish it wasn't here on this particular day. I found that there is a particular power in owning those things. I used to and by the way this wasn't always the case when I started out on YouTube for example There's something about being on camera regularly, even if you're not on TV, but you're just putting yourself through that on YouTube or something. There is something about it that immediately makes you self-conscious of all of these things that, you know, because it's one thing to have a spot appear on your face when you're at home with your family and friends. It's another thing when a camera's on you and all of a sudden you're thinking, how many people are going to see this? So, when I first started on YouTube, I was hyper aware of all of the things that I didn't like about myself and was almost trying to make sure every single one of those things was perfect before I would go on camera. And gradually over time, that feeling became eroded. Now, I never stopped taking pride in myself. I mean, you know, when I do work out, I work out because I take pride in myself because I like to feel healthy. because I like to look good. I don't wear a shirt because I don't care about my appearance. I wear a shirt because I want to look good. But that feeling of needing everything to be perfect began to get eroded. And over time, I became less and less precious about making sure that I was happy with every tiny little detail of myself. Because I would always remind myself, that the most attractive people in life are not the ones who are perfect. The most attractive people in life are the ones that really can be confident in spite of whatever isn't perfect about themselves. And let's stick with the physical for now because I think this is, you know, we can extrapolate this to other parts of life. We can widen it to your personality. We can widen it to everything else. I think it's interesting if we stay with the physical for a moment. The people that are the most attractive are the ones who don't allow the things that aren't perfect about their physicality to throw them off of their game. And they certainly don't say, Someone will like me less because of this. Someone won't be attracted to me because of this. It's almost like they put that to one side and they say, okay, I accept that for what it is. Now let's go and be a really fun, interesting, passionate, life-loving human being. That's ultimately what makes people confident. I was thinking, you know, here's the funny thing. Jameson, we're getting really meta right now, but I think we should. If our audience are the intelligent people we always say they are, they'll understand and they'll appreciate it. before this video, I was thinking to myself, like, because me and James, so we're talking about this, the whole spray tan thing. We were like, we should talk about this. Like, we should make a video about this for this week. And just, just let's, let's, let's own it and let's talk about it. There's a reflex part of me that wants to say, well, guys, you know, there is a reason that someone that does what I do gets a spray tan when they go on TV or when they do this or when they do that. There are reasons, like there's a part of me that feels the need to justify it. And then as that went through my head, I said, no, fuck that. Like, just it. I'm not just. I don't need to justify to anyone. None of us do. We, we. I always remember this time at school where I went into school with my hair, like, slicked back, and I'd never done that before. I'd always had, like, kind of either just a softer look or whatever. And one day I went in like full Patrick Bateman, American Psycho, like hair slicked back. And I remember someone, the moment I got in school, there was some other guy at school who was like, what the fuck are you doing with your hair? And the funny thing was my immediate response was to justify it. My immediate response was to be like, oh, wouldn't you... No, I mean, I just did that because it was wet when I got out of the shower and I just put some gel in it and this is what happened. You start justifying it. That's exactly what I did. I started justifying it. And I look back now and I go, you, know what? That was the moment where I gave up all of my power, was when I felt the need to justify it. When I thought... When I gave someone else so much status, that I said, I need to tell them why it is I made the decision to do my hair this way today. And I know as I'm speaking about this, I know there will be times that you remember, maybe even recently, maybe even today, where someone said something to you about something you were wearing or something you were doing and you felt the need to justify it to them or downplay it or pretend like you didn't do it on purpose. so that they wouldn't mock you. And I remember looking back at school and thinking, my God, I would have been completely in control if I didn't feel the need to justify it at all. If I just laughed or smiled or even poked fun of myself in that moment, just owned it, whatever. But the wrong route is for me to sit here and justify myself. And that reflex, you'll find it creeping back in from time to time. and you must be very, very wary of it because it's the moment that you try justifying yourself for decisions you've made in that way. It's that moment that you really lose your power. Instead, just own it. Just own it. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You'll be far more attractive. I made a video where I had a spray tan and It had worn off of my hands and my hands were white. Okay. Own it. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Why did I get a spray tan? Who fucking cares? Do I need to justify it? No. Do you need to justify anything that you do? No. Think about your body insecurities. Think about something that you worry about or you get self-conscious about. Think about a style that you want to go for in your life, but you're afraid to in case the friends and family around you call you out on trying something different. Think about those things and think about how you don't need to justify yourself for those little actions. You can own them and you'll be far more attractive when you do. So, look, we're all afraid, right? We're all afraid. We all want to be liked. We all want people to say nice things about us. Anyone who says they absolutely 100% don't care ever is lying and they tend to be the people that are the most scared. But you can build a mental and emotional toughness that makes you extraordinarily resilient. I mean part of this starts with loving yourself which I talk about. If you've ever been on my retreat program we do an entire day dedicated to how to transform the relationship you have with yourself so that you don't rely on that kind of validation from other people. But it's also to some extent about building a mental and emotional toughness whereby people's energy can't affect you in that way anymore. A, because you're conditioned for it, right? I put out that video regardless because I wanted the Nox. I don't care. I want to be conditioned for negative energy. So that's the first part. But secondly, just the knowledge that if in spite of criticism, in spite of bad energy, in spite of whatever you're self-conscious about, you project your most confident, your most passionate, your most life-loving image, that will make you more attractive than if you didn't have the imperfections in the first place. because nothing is more attractive than someone who we think could have reasons to not feel confident. And yet they're still unstoppable. That's the person we really fear in life. 'Cause we're like, oh shit, I can't even compete with this person. This person hasn't got this confidence because they've got it all. This confidence comes from somewhere else. And that's really intimidating for other people. It's a very, very powerful thing to have. so I think this is an important message. I think that it's. I think that we all need to feel almost a. Almost United in the fact that we are insecure and we are human, and there are things that we wish we could avoid in life. We wish we could avoid criticism and condemnation and. The harassment of bad energy. We wish we could avoid these things but they are part of life. The thing that makes us feel less alone is that everyone else is feeling it too. You're not the only one. You know what makes me feel not alone? Is I know that every single person watching my videos, I could show up at their house with a video camera and put it straight on them and every single one of their insecurities and self-conscious ideas about themselves would be magnified too. There is no one that can hide from this. The only difference is I'm out here. I'm doing my thing. I'm going for it anyway. And you should too. Stephen Fry, if you don't know him, a British comedian and kind of a national treasure, He said we all have this idea that everyone else is carrying this giant club walking around. They have this like knowledge, these secrets that we don't have. And we're sort of cowering with like a, you know, a tiny toothpick, you know, and we're like oh God, please don't hurt me. And we think everyone else has the secrets that we don't have. Everyone else has something that we can't obtain. They've somehow figured life out and we haven't. And the great secret and the magical secret is that there is no secret. That we're all the same and we all fear this bad energy, we all fear this criticism and that that's okay. And that beginning to understanding that is the beginning of becoming resilient and knowing that you can actually get through it. and if you go one step further than resilience and you own it and you're as confident as you want to be and can be in spite of it, then you become a leader in life. And when you become a leader in life, people begin to give you opportunities, people begin to want to date you, people want to follow you, they want to be on your team because they want just a little bit of whatever it is you have. So, I will see you in the next video. Leave a comment. I feel like we should let's encourage comments on this one, Jameson. I think let's do something let's see if we can get everyone to do something really brave. Leave a comment with an insecurity about your body that you have something physical that you would normally be embarrassed to say, but you're gonna say it. You're gonna say this is something I'm self-conscious about and I'm gonna own it and not give it so much power because I'm actually talking about it. So what's something physical that you have that you've been self-conscious of in the past or maybe you're self-conscious about right now as I'm talking? and you want to give it less power by actually writing it in the comments. I'm excited about this. I will see you next week in the video. Thank you for always being here. Thank you for being brave and courageous. And if you're out there doing good things and putting yourself out there and being prepared to put yourself through bad energy, congratulations to you. you're one of the people that is showing other people the way. I love you all. I'll see you soon. Let me just offer you a different thought. What if we didn't edit it? And we just put it out there as it is raw. I kind of think we should put it out there raw. Okay. You know what? Look, okay, let's explain to them why we're doing this. At the end of each video that we do, Jameson pauses for a moment and looks at me and says, I think we should go back and make this part clearer or I think we should go back and structure this part a little better. He, he, it's what makes him terrific at what he does. He isn't just a camera operator. He really helps direct our message and make it as clear and as punchy as possible. Now, there are many occasions where I think that's important. I think We should, in keeping with the theme of this video about the raw and the imperfect, I think we should put it out there as it is. So we have left this video unedited for exactly that reason so that you can see me not be punchy and you can see me just talk. And if it's too long for you, I don't care. That's up to you. You can turn it off. But hopefully you'll enjoy the length and you'll enjoy seeing something that is more raw and not perfected and not photoshopped in quality, but is just me speaking. So that's it. Thank you. I'll see you soon.
